West Newbury, MA – WWE officials have announced their latest acquisition, The Prototype.
The surprise signing came just minutes after WWE Superstar John Cena competed in his final match at Saturday Night’s Main Event.
“We may be closing the book for one legend, but that just means we’re starting a new one with The Prototype,” said Triple H poetically. “The Prototype has all the tools to become a star in WWE; strength, charisma, and a haircut you can set your watch to.”
Industry insider’s have questioned the signing of a 48-year old rookie, but the company is confident they can make something out of him.
“He’s a former OVW World Heavyweight Champion. He’s 50% man, 50% machine,” said Triple H matter-of-factly. “He’ll fit right in against, oh, I don’t know, let’s say Randy Orton, CM Punk, AJ Styles, and Gunther.”
“The first time is now,” said The Prototype robotically. “You. Cannot. See. Me. Beep. Boop. Blorp. 0110110101.”