Las Vegas, NV – Diehard WWE fan Doug Van Weeben has admitted that he has some regrets after literally selling his arm and leg to buy Wrestlemania tickets.
“It was a tough year, so I thought I’d treat myself to Wrestlemania,” said Van Weeben while waiting for his flight back home on the East Coast. “Between ticket prices, airfare, car rental, gas money, and food, I had to get a little creative.”
The wrestling fan took an unusual method to acquire the outrageously expensive tickets, offering TKO his limbs in exchange for ringside seats. The disturbing surgery, done with high-powered lasers and lots of pulling, was completed three weeks ago.
“You know, I didn’t really think about it at the time, but it is concerning that a billion-dollar corporation is collecting limbs,” pondered the fan. “And to make things worse, that ham-head Pat McAfee had WWE give a 25% discount on tickets after the procedure was already done!”
Van Weeben expressed his disappointment with his decision.
“I may not have thought this thing all the way through,” he sighed, putting a dollar in a Wheel of Fortune slot machine while waiting for his flight. “Especially after sitting through all those commercials and that Cody-Orton main event. I’d give Wrestlemania two middle fingers if TKO didn’t own one of them now.”