Jacksonville, FL – Following the advice of his attorneys, AEW leader Tony Khan cannot legally wish anyone a Happy New Year.
“While I can acknowledge that 2023 is ending and that, logistically, 2024 will be starting, legally I cannot wish you a specific feeling during this time of year,” explained Khan during the AEW holiday party.
The overcautious approach to the seasonal greeting confused many in attendance. It served as a reminder of the companies recent legal issues and ongoing backstage issues. Throughout the evening, Khan continued to deflect specific hopes.
“Again, at this point, I cannot express one way or the other about the calendar changing at this point in time,” dismissed Khan when approached by several members of the roster wishing good tidings.
The exercise in restraint was tested when Khan was presented with a cake complete with “Happy New Year” in frosting.
Consulting with his legal team, Khan nervously approached the cake. A bead of sweat dripped from his brow as he picked up a played and a knife. Exchanging quick nods with his attorneys, Tony Khan quickly smeared the icing, erasing the message. With a sigh of relief, he cut the cake and distributed pieces to the entire AEW roster.
As the clock struck midnight and 2023 turned into 2024, an exhausted Tony Khan kissed his pile of signed NDAs.