Boston, MA – AEW star Mercedes Moné has been inconsolable after her surprise championship loss to Willow Nightingale at last week’s New Year’s Smash.
The “CEO” mourned the end of her 584-day reign this past weekend at her luxurious home. Laying on a velvet couch, Moné dabbed her eyes with her CMLL World Women’s Championship.
“I can’t believe I lost!” Mercedes Moné said, blowing her nose with the Chaotic Wrestling Women’s Championship. “I will never financially recover from this! I mean, what am I without the AEW TBS title?!”
Depressed, the former champion tried to eat something for lunch. After just a few bites of her meal, she wiped her face with the Winnipeg Pro Wrestling Women’s Championship, sighing in disgust.
Using the APAC Women’s Championship and BODYSLAM Women’s Championship as slippers, Mone aimlessly paced around her home, blandly replying to text messages for an hour.
After checking her PayPal and Venmo accounts, she flipped through the latest issue of MoneMag. Using the Discovery Wrestling Scottish Women’s Championship as a bookmark, Mercedes shuffled off to bed. Resting the EWA Women’s Championship belt across her eyes, Mercedes Moné fitfully fell asleep, dreaming of winning back her precious AEW TBS belt back at the next Pay-Per-View event.