Winter Park, FL –In an unexpected move, NXT producer Shawn Michaels has continued to explain the Iron Survivor Challenge. While fans were initially excited for a new type of match, many were left confused by the complex descriptions and regulations.
Michaels, whose face sounded raspier than usual, continued to read through the complicated rules at a production meeting this morning.
“It’s really quite simple,” gasped the winded Heartbreak Kid. “Should the match continue beyond the allotted 24-hour mark, rematches will be held on consecutive Sundays. If a holiday should fall on one of those days, that match will then be held on Monday. If no winner is decided, a sack race will be held at the WWE Memorial Day picnic. Two wrestlers hop at 3 ½ minute intervals. A wrestler will be penalized if they arrive at the picnic and do not bring a side dish. If the side dish is coleslaw, they will be disqualified.”
Michaels then took a long, slow sip of hot tea to soothe his aching throat. Removing his cowboy hat, Michaels wiped the sweat from his brow and continued.
“Should a winner still not be decided, all contestants will place their arms inside the stump of the Wood Beast,” explained the former WWE World Champion. “If you refuse, you are placed inside the ‘Circle Of Shame’ container. If you are stung, you are placed inside a morgue. Winners move on to the lightning trivia round at Takeover.”
As the sun began to set, Michaels opened his second binder full of laws and directives. The remaining staff quietly filed out and left for home. Only NXT star Andre Chase remained, furiously taking notes. WWE officials hope Michaels is able to complete the rules by this week’s taping.