Headlies: Ric Flair – Lacey Evans Gender Reveal Party Goes To A Sixty Minute Broadway

7 Submitted by on Mon, 22 February 2021, 08:00

Charlotte, NC – A gender reveal party for Lacey Evans and Ric Flair’s child resulted in a time-limit draw with no clear winner.

The amorous septuagenarian and the Sassy Southern Belle celebrated their unexpected conception in Flair’s backyard. Joining the happy couple were friends, family, and members of the Four Horsemen not currently under AEW contracts. Even Ric’s daughter, Charlotte Flair, who is currently feuding with Evans, attended. Charlotte showed her displeasure by performing a technically sound, but unnecessary moonsault.

In current popular fashion, Evans and Flair created an elaborate plan to reveal the gender of their baby. A sixteen-foot-high steel cage was erected in the backyard and the two proceeded to have a match. The lovebirds put on a clinic during the sixty minute time-limit performance.

Onlookers oo-ed and ah-ed at the back and forth. Chops, eye-pokes and whatever Lacey Evans does kept the action going. Several false finishes, including Flair taking a bump into a cake with pink frosting and Evans putting on a blue hat, kept the audience on the edge of their seats.

In a dramatic crescendo, Flair bladed his forehead. The former world champion bled blue and pink buckets just as time ran out. In an ending that would make Dusty Rhodes blush, the gender reveal party was ruled a draw.

“The Nature Boy thinks society should move beyond the tired, out-of-date gender constructs,” said Flair, mopping up his cotton candy-colored blood. “It’s time to live beyond the binary. You can be a limousine riding, jet flying, styling and profiling greatest wrestler in the world without having to check off some box. It’s the 21 century people! Respect people’s pronouns! As long as my child doesn’t look like Shane Douglas, I’m happy. Wooooooo!”

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From the Northeast by way of Parts Unknown.
7 Responses to "Headlies: Ric Flair – Lacey Evans Gender Reveal Party Goes To A Sixty Minute Broadway"
  1. Thomas Moffatt says:

    A definite early candidate for the Gooker. Pregnancy angles NEVER work. This will drag and drag. It will be a bigger drag than the Patterson-Brisco Evening Gown match. There will be no payoff and everybody will be sick to death of it by the next PPV. That is if they are still watching…

  2. John C says:

    At least it wasn’t a Dusty finish.

  3. Chris says:

    Lacey Evans is actually pregnant. It’s not an angle.
    Ric Flair was just joking around, pretending he was the father.
    It was just a way to blow off the Lacey/Flair angle, since Evans is going to be gone for quite some time.

    • Thomas Moffatt says:

      The angle will be Ric Flair is daddy followed by a who is daddy angle. Lacey will go away have the brat and all will be forgotten on her return…

  4. Mav says:

    Dusty Finish reference was good.

  5. Doc 902714 says:

    So this amounts to….NO MATCH for Asuka at Elimination Chamber PPV? WHAt A WASTE!!

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