Headlies: Mickie James Already Fired, Rehired

2 Submitted by on Mon, 17 January 2022, 08:00

Tulsa, OK – Despite announcing her return for the Royal Rumble, Impact Knockout Champion Mickie James has already been fired and rehired by WWE.

The shocking, but unsurprising see-saw decision has been felt throughout the wrestling community. The mercurial decisions started early this morning.

“That Mickie, she thinks she’s so fine,” muttered McMahon when seeing James at the BOK Center. “She thinks she so fine it blows my mind! Hey, Mickie! Hey, Mickie! You’re fired!”

A few seconds later, McMahon changed his mind.

“No, wait, Mickie, come back,” relented McMahon. “You’re very important to the WWE Universe and we’d be honored if you were in the Royal Rumble. Welcome back.”

The return lasted a few hours until McMahon ran into James at catering.

“Gah! She chews so loudly! That lettuce is like a jackhammer in my brain!” complained the particular septuagenarian. “She needs to go. Now. Right now. Dump her salad in a garbage bag and mail it to her.”

Before WWE officials could calculate salad shipping costs, McMahon intercepted the meal and returned it to the former Divas champion.

“Please accept this chopped salad as a formal apology,” said McMahon, handing James the wilted greens. “For being such a good sport, I’m giving you a bonus!”

McMahon reached into his pocket, took out a handful of croutons and sprinkled it on the salad.

Despite the whiplash of constantly being fired and rehired, James is taking it all in stride.

“Are you kidding? This is great,” smiled James. “I keep getting severance checks every couple of hours. If this keeps up, I’ll finally be able to record Hardcore Country Part 2.”

Written by

From the Northeast by way of Parts Unknown.
2 Responses to "Headlies: Mickie James Already Fired, Rehired"
  1. SPM says:

    Hard to imagine how WWE wouldnt give a lengthy title run to a 43 year old woman who looks about 50 that wasnt all that in the ring in her 30s.

  2. gerard says:

    wwe shot themselves in the foot they released a bunch of divas and wrestlers then realized oh crap we don’t have enough people left on our roster to fill up 60spaces for 2 royal rumble matches!! so they went all over the world even begging impact hey can we borrow your ladies champion for the night??

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