Headlies: Fans Dreading Election References During Monday Night Raw

7 Submitted by on Mon, 09 November 2020, 08:00

Washington, D.C. – The WWE Universe is bracing themselves for many painful lines and skits referencing the presidential election on this week’s Monday Night Raw.

Apprehension grew over the weekend as rumors spread of WWE procuring hundreds of miniature American flags. Pictures of red, white, and blue fireworks  at the Amway Center have been shared on Twitter. An article by David Bixenspan detailing WWE’s failed bid to copyright the word “Inauguration” confirmed fans’ fears.

Clips of the famed Scott Steiner – Christopher Nowitzki debate and several “matches” between political figures began recirculating online, stoking fears of similar skits.

“We’ve already been through so much. Do we really need to sit through Corey Graves standing in front of a map? Who wants Byron Saxton  explaining that fans in Wisconsin prefer Shayna Baszler over Lana?” asked an exasperated teacher Glenna Bowerman. 

“Fifty bucks says they find missing ballots in Daniel Bryan’s beard,” sighed baker Deandra Parks.

“Michael Cole is going to say that AJ Styles’ Survivor Series team is a ‘divided nation’. I just know it,” said a frustrated joint-fitter Alvin Cora. “My eyes might actually roll out of my head at that point.”

“Shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up,” said Political Science Professor Ravi Dhar.

Fans are hoping that any election discussion is relegated to the third hour of Raw giving them even more reason to not watch it.

Written by

From the Northeast by way of Parts Unknown.
7 Responses to "Headlies: Fans Dreading Election References During Monday Night Raw"
  1. Tom Hastings says:

    the worst part…about half of what is written will probably come to pass…

  2. Raging_Demons says:

    That Daniel Bryan joke doesnt make sense. He no longer has a beard.

  3. ThePWBPoster says:

    I remember the time Steiner and Nowinski had the Iraq debate, sadly I thought it was good television. The worst thing was when Vince woke up from some nightmare and he was half naked in a scrub at a hospital.

    To him it was probably “Such good sh*t, pal”

    • Chris says:

      Yes, because only those snobby upper crust university educated elitists will ever conclude that the war in Iraq was anything more than lies and a quagmire….
      How farsighted Vince ended up being.

      I’m glad I don’t have to deal with seeing cringe-inducing crap like that on WWE TV anymore.
      Lots of other cringe-inducing crap, but not like that at least.

  4. Mr. Boing says:

    Donald Trump is still crying about how RIGGED RAW is.

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