Jacksonville, FL – AEW manager Don Callis invited his entire stable to celebrate an early Thanksgiving at his one-bedroom apartment this past Saturday.
Despite the small space and his insistence that Thanksgiving already happened in October, Callis was joined by Kazuchika Okada, Konosuke Takeshita, Kyle Fletcher, Lance Archer, Brian Cage, Mark Davis, Josh Alexander, Trent Baretta, Rocky Romero, Hechicero, Wardlow, Andrade El Idolo, and El Clon.
The “family” gathered around Don’s IKEA table, sitting on mismatched chairs and milk crates, to say what they were thankful for this year. Callis’s ominous theme music blared over an off-brand Bluetooth speaker as everyone took a turn.
“Gentlemen, I want to thank you all for taking the time to come together and give thanks to me, Don Callis,” said Callis, pointing to himself with a drumstick. “And I want to thank all of your for bringing a side dish. I didn’t expect every single one of you to bring green bean almondine, but here we are.”
For a brief time, the family ate and exchanged pleasantries. Unfortunately, lingering tensions among certain members of the group boiled over, sending the dinner into disarray.
Okada and Takeshita locked up, knocking over Don Callis’s priceless collection of Funko Pop figures. Josh Alexander put Rocky Romero in a headlock and gave him nooggies. Lance Archer through Hecicero and El Clon through the ceiling. Brian Cage and Wardlow breathed heavily at each other. Andrade El Idolo vanished into thin air.
“Trent Baretta, you stop jumping on my racecar bed this instant!” yelled Callis, trying to maintain order. “Kyle, you stop force-feeding green beans to Mark Davis right now!”
During the chaos, current TNT Champion and Don Callis Family nemesis Mark Briscoe snuck into the apartment. Quietly tiptoeing around the fallen bodies, Briscoe stole the turkey, leaving only the bowls of green beans.
Despite the mayhem, Callis plans to invite at least ten more wrestlers into the family for Christmas dinner.