Dominik Mysterio Has The Kavorka

Dominik Mysterio Kavorka WWE Seinfeld

San Diego, CA – WWE Superstar Dominik Mysterio has revealed that he suffers from “the lure of the animal” known as “Kavorka”.

Over the past year, women have become drawn to Mysterio. First, Rhea Ripley and now WWE Women’s World Champion Liv Morgan. Other members of the women’s locker room have also expressed interest in him with gifts of video games, sneakers, and chicken finger baskets with extra ranch sauce.

“I’ve tried everything to get rid of this Kavorka,” lamented Dominik Mysterio. “I’ve grown out this greasy mullet. Nothing. I have this caterpillar-like mustache on my face. Nada. I’ve even tried changing my voice to sound whiny. Do you think I like looking and sounding like this? Why must I be cursed with this power?!”

Even the nickname “Dirty Dom” was an intentional way to try break this curse to no avail. Despite altering his appearance and attitude to repel, Dominik’s magnetism cannot be denied.

Mysterio hopes to by bathing in a special concoction of three quarts vinegar, ten cloves of garlic, and a spritz of “Stone Cold” Steve Austin’s Venom cologne will help repel the locker room. If all else fails, Dominik Mysterio plans to start hanging out with JD McDonagh more as a last-ditch effort to free himself from the Kavorka.

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