Stamford, CT – The professional wrestling world was turned upside down this morning when Shane McMahon revealed that he is now the owner of WWE.
In a pre-taped segment set to air on tonight’s Raw, Shane Endeavor revealed that he is now the majority owner of WWE. Forgoing his usual dance due to an injury suffered at Wrestlemania, Shane addressed his father via satellite.
“Surprise, Dad!” said Shane. “As usual, Dad, your ego has gotten the best of you. You wanted to finalize this deal of Endeavor buying WWE at Wrestlemania. You had the audacity to ask Ari Emanuel himself to come down himself and finalize that deal. Well, Dad, that was just the opportunity I was looking for. I booked myself into an impromptu match with The Miz and I faked my injury!”
Shane rose from his chair to mild cheers.
“Because of my injury, you couldn’t sign on Wrestlemania night,” explained Shane. “The deal is finalized with Endeavor. And the name on the contract does say Endeavor, however,” paused Shane with a devious smirk.
Vince nervously gulped as if a paralegal walked by.
“However, the contract reads Shane Endeavor! That’s right! I own WWE!” crowed Shane.
Fans applauded politely at the confusing and convoluted purchase.
While many expect Vince to remain in charge backstage while Shane appears on camera, most agree that it’s still better than WWE being purchased by Saudi Arabia.