WWF Raw – February 15th, 1999 – Jefferson County Civic Coliseum – Birmingham, AL
WWF Raw begins with stills from last night’s St. Valentine’s Day Massacre, which culminated in the shocking debut and immediate embarrassment of Paul Wight.
Commissioner Michaels makes his first live appearance since December. He is here to “introduce the two principals” in the WrestleMania main event. He must still be having substance issues, because why would he book headmasters for the biggest show of the year instead of wrestlers? He must have quickly changed his mind, as he introduces Stone Cold and Mankind instead.
Vince McMahon, sporting a neck brace and bandage on his forehead, interrupts to tell us he is broken and humble. Austin, according to McMahon, put 12 stitches in Vince’s head (although I’d suggest a doctor or nurse do that instead). But now, Vince wants to bury the hatchet, as long as Stone Cold says he’s sorry.
Austin says he’s sorry, thus ending the year-long feud and closing a memorable ch—oh, he’s not finished! Stone Cold clarifies that he’s “sorry” he didn’t kick Vince’s ass sooner!
McMahon then goads Shawn Michaels into making a rematch between Mankind and The Rock, as last night’s bout ended in a draw. Mankind, beaten up from the night before, offers to take on The Rock next week. Rocky then comes out and demands the roody-poo candy-ass commissioner know his role and make the match tonight. When Mankind agrees due to his testicular fortitude, Vince McMahon urges Michaels to make it a ladder match. Shawn tells The Rock that he’s “had roles” Rocky will never have (and Bret Hart would certainly agree), and that the ladder match is on.
Vince McMahon has one last surprise, this time for Steve Austin: a special referee for the WrestleMania main event named Paul Wight. Austin flips him off.
When WWF Raw returns, Jerry Lawler promises Sable (who has rarely been on TV lately) and hints at an “X-rated Intercontinental title match” between Val Venis and Bad Ass Billy Gunn. What exactly does Jerry think the two men will do to each other?
Debra makes her wrestling debut tonight, teaming with Jeff Jarrett for a mixed tag match against D’Lo Brown and Ivory. D’Lo rushes at his opponents, causing Debra to lose her balance and fall off the ring apron. Unlike Terri, Debra laughs it off instead of feigning a miscarriage. Jeff Jarrett locks on the figure four on Brown, but Ivory steps in and rakes his face. Then, D’Lo hits the Lo Down on Jarrett, and Debra breaks up the pin. This sparks a catfight between the former Mrs. McMichael and the former Tina Ferrari.
The referee, unable to restore order, throws the match out, and both men restrain their respective ladies. Debra, however, grabs Jeff’s guitar and smashes it over Ivory’s back. This leads to a brawl between D’Lo and Jeff. Owen then joins in, drawing loud chants of “Nugget”.
If you’re watching WWF Raw in the Las Vegas area, you might see a commercial for the Buffalo Wrestling Federation, featuring “The Mighty Yokozuna” (previously of the WWF) and “Buffalo Jim” Barrier (later featured on Unsolved Mysteries)
Triple H and X-Pac are here, having lost to Kane and Chyna last night thanks to interference from Shane McMahon. Hunter says it was the first time Chyna has ever been on top of a man (sexual!), and that he has a bad taste in his mouth from last night (probably not sexual!). He challenges her and the big red r-word to a rematch.
Shane McMahon, however, refuses a rematch on their behalf and gives Chyna the night off. This gives X-Pac the idea to trade one woman for another (though he doesn’t say “woman”) by taking on Kane and Shane McMahon instead. When Shane declines, Triple H calls him a “puss”. Like sourpuss? Anyway, Shane’s puss becomes a lot less sour when he challenges X-Pac to put his European title on the line in the match, and the champ accepts.
When WWF comes back on the air, Mankind is seen backstage practices clibing a ladder out of the basement of the arena.
Billy Gunn is here to challenge Val Venis for the Intercontinental title. Gunn refused to count for either man, rendering the match pointless, until Ken Shamrock put his hands on him. Billy then fast-counted for Val Venis, awarding the film star the title.
The new champ comes out to cut a celebratory promo involving the words, “long”, “hard”, “rise”, and “on top”. The two men then punch and kick each other before Venis debuts a new move where he pretends his arm is his phallus and punches Gunn.
After Billy chops his crotch at Ryan Shamrock, she steps onto the apron and is accidentally bumped off by him. Amid the confusion, Venis pins Gunn with a German suplex (or fisherman’s suplex, according to Cole) for the 1-2-3.
Following his loss, Billy Gunn steps out and stands over the injured Ryan. Concerned, Jerry Lawler offers to fondle her breasts. You know I’m not kidding.
Val brings Ryan into the ring but gets offended at something she allegedly says. “‘We’? ‘We’ did this?” says an indignant Val, who instantly dumps her. Disgusted, Michael Cole sarcastically calls Val Venis (who doesn’t even squeeze his own orange juice) a “real man’s man”.
WWF returns from commercial with a shot of Billy Gunn apologizing to Ryan backstage. Big brother Ken then rushes onto the scene and punches out Billy.
The Undertaker is here with his Ministry of Darkness after having abducted the Bossman last night but, despite having a nine-on-one advantage, let him escape somehow. Paul Bearer and The Undertaker get on the mic and threaten to take the WWF away from Vince McMahon. That’s why they took out the “heart and soul” of Vince’s Corporation last night. This is the first and only time The Bossman would be called the heart and soul of anything. Undertaker claims that he and his Ministry serve an even Greater Power—possibly Satan, possibly Jake Roberts.
The Bossman interrupts Taker and challenges his Ministry to a three-on-three match, then threatens to stick his foot up Taker’s “dead ass”. Really, dead ass.
Backstage, Shane McMahon wears a D-X shirt with “X-Punk” plastered over it. He gets pumped up with Chyna and Kane before the tag match with D-X. I guess he wasn’t listening to Undertaker’s promo about taking over his dad’s company.
Kane & Shane (with Chyna) take on Triple H & X-Pac, who accidentally get Kane’s Titantron video at first. Jerry Lawler questions the wisdom of X-Pac putting his European title on the line in this match. “If brains were chocolate”, says King, “his wouldn’t fill an M&M”. That’s not saying much, Jerry. We all know how much delicious milk chocolate is packed into every M&M!
Triple H takes it to Kane in the opening moments, then tags out to X-Pac. Together, they hit their version of Total Elimination: a spinning heel kick by X-Pac and a far-too-late chop block by Triple H. “What a Maneuver by D-X!” says Cole. X-Pac attempts to pin Kane, but the Big Red Machin powers him through the second rope and out of the ring. There, Shane baits X-Pac into chasing him and getting clotheslined by Chyna.
Kane rolls X-Pac back in the ring, where Shane (somehow the legal man) takes some cheap shots and tries to pin him. Both men tag out, and Kane flattens Triiple H with a flying clothesline after refusing to suck it. Shane thinks this is a good time to tag in, but Triple H tags out to X-Pac.
Kane saves Shane from a Bronco Buster by catching X-Pac with a chokeslam out of the corner. Triple H then retaliates with a forearm that knocks Kane off the apron and onto the announce table. “What a Maneuver!” says Cole before Kane even falls. Hunter and Kane brawl up the ramp, and in the hubbub, Chyna gives Shane the belt, and the boss’s son smashes X-Pac with it and falls on top of him (just barely) for the cover. His face on the mat with the back of his hand touching X-Pac, Shane scores the 1-2-3 and becomes European champion. Chyna carries the victorious and unconscious McMahon over her shoulder.
WWF Raw resumes with the Corporation celebrating Shane’s victory with champagne. I don’t whether they always have champagne on hand for such an occasion, but Shane sounds like he’s gone through a few bottles already.
New Hardcore champion Bob Holly runs up the ramp to meet challenger Steve Blackman and gets suplexed. Holly then grabs hold of the metal tressing and kicks Blackman monkey-bars-style. They then disappear backstage until cameras catch up with them.
Michael Cole notes that Bob Holly has the chance to shed his old “Sparky Plugg” image (or at least he would, if Cole didn’t remind the audience every night). After an excursion into a stack of beer kegs, the two opponents take a tour of the production truck (the outside of it, anyway). Blackman kicks Holly into a dumpster until The Cat in the Hat (or Droz) hits him with an oversized metal tool that he swings around like it’s nothing. Holly pins Blackman to retain, then jogs back to the ring. Jerry Lawler likens hardcore matches to the Brawl For All, in that someone always gets hurt in them. He means this in a good way. Still, when’s the last time you heard someone talk about the Brawl For All?
In the ring, Holly runs down his past gimmicks, names, and tag team partners, then issues a challenge for his title. Out comes Bart Gunn, the winner of the Brawl For All and a former tag partner of Bob’s. Holly notes that he’s the only Brawl For All opponent of Bart’s that he couldn’t knock out, then agrees to a Hardcore title match next week.
Sable saunters backstage as WWF Raw goes to break.
The M&M’s Slam of the Week is Vince McMahon’s fall from the steel cage last night onto the edge of the announce table. It’s okay; he wasn’t using that tailbone anyway. “He may be dead!” exclaimed Cole while Vince was clearly moving.
Kevin Kelly, putting on a fake deep voice (perhaps to impress his guest) introduces Sable. Kevin notes that Sable’s plate is very, very full. Her plate, among other things. Kelly starts to break the news about Sable being on the cover of Playboy before Sable interrupts. She interrupts Kevin again to mention all her other recent and upcoming media appearances. Just when it seems like she’s getting a big head, she says she loves each and every one of the audience members for making it possible.
Just then, Sable’s #1 fan rushes into the ring, where she is restrained by the head of security. Sable has her released just long enough to call her a nut and a wannabe, then has her kicked out. “I’ve never, ever seen Sable act this way before”, says Cole.
WWF Raw returns to find Vince McMahon talking to The Rock in the dressing room. Jerry Lawler chides Cole. “If you’d have been a little quieter, we might could have heard what he was saying.”
Bossman, Ken Shamrock, and Test come to the ring for their six-man against The Ministry. Sitting ringside is Alabama’s own Butterbean; according to Cole, rumor has it that Butterbean “wants to fight Bart Gunn in a Brawl For All match”. All of a sudden, no one can stop talking about Bart Gunn.
The Acolytes and Mideon, making up the Ministry’s contingent, brawl with the Corporation in the ring until Tim White eventually narrows it down to Bossman and Mideon (who faced each other last night on PPV). Their in-ring confrontation tonight receives just as much fan interest.
All six men end up back in the ring before the lights go out. Undertaker’s music and Titantron hits, and the Ministry retreats up the ramp. Viscera drags Shane McMahon to the Undertaker while the rest of the faction stands guard. The Ministry’s leader reaches into his coat as if to grab a weapon but instead pulls out an envelope a la Joe Flaherty in Back to the Future II. Shane runs away with the envelope and learns that Vince is alive and well in the year 1885.
Ladder match time approaches. The Rock climbs the old red Razor Ramon model, which stands up outside the ring like in all good ladder matches. It’s even got the warning stickers on it! He then cuts a promo about climbing the ladder rung by damn rung. He says he’ll stick his foot in Mankind’s ass and stick his fist in his mouth (and, thankfully, not vice versa).
WWF Raw comes back from its last commercial break when Mankind hobbles to the ring. Stone Cold Steve Austin, whose commentary appearance the announcers have been hyping up all night, appears for commentary.
Rock throws Mankind into the steps, then grabs a chair from the timekeeper’s area to work over Mankind’s injured knee. Stone Cold gives credit to The Rock for working the body part—that’s right, psychology in a ladder match. Mankind turns the tables when he smacks the ladder with a steel chair so it falls on The Rock. The champion delivers “Mr. Elbow” and climbs the ladder, but Rock sends him crashing with a chair shot to the leg.
Rock chop-blocks Foley’s leg, then sandwiches it in the ladder for further chair shots. Austin calls Mankind an innovator of violence but notes Rocky’s creativity. The Rock then tries to climb the ladder still in his warm-up gear (How the ladder got in his warm-up gear, I’ll never know), but Mankind won’t allow it, bashing him with a chair.
Austin urges the “dumb bastard” to climb the ladder, but when he does, Rock hits him with a chair and sends him into the ropes. Mankind winds up tied up, but escapes and gives Rocky a low blow. The two then brawl in the crowd, where Mankind elbows Rock onto a railing. A second elbow misses, and Rocky brings Foley back to ringside. He probably should have left him there, which would have made it a whole lot easier to climb the ladder.
Rocky then suplexes Mankind onto the stage, as Steve Blackman did to Bob Holly tonight. Foley, however, recovers and sends Rock careening into the steps. However, he fails to capitalize as Austin suggests, instead attempting a piledriver onto the Spanish announce table. Rock counters with a Rock Bottom and tries to climb the ladder, but Mankind stops him with a low blow.
Foley brings out Mr. Socko, but The Rock DDTs him. “Three minutes”, yells Earl Hebner. Rocky and Mankind climb either side of the ladder, which is set up under the belt but nowhere near the center of the ring. Mankind locks on the mandible claw until Paul Wight chokeslams him. Stone Cold stands up but doesn’t intervene as The Rock pulls down the belt.
Just before WWF Raw goes off the air, Stone Cold sneaks up on his WrestleMania opponent, presumably for a Stunner.
Final Tally:
2 Maneuvers