WWF Raw – November 2nd, 1998 – Compaq Center – Houston, TX
A recap of the Shane-Vince drama opens this week’s WWF Raw, which will feature Vince McMahon addressing the crowd. Yet again. In a voiceover, Michael Cole wonders whether it’s the end of Vince McMahon’s sports entertainment empire.
Live footage begins with Tony Chimel introducing Shane as “the son of the owner of the World Wrestling Federation”; Chimel, like the rest of us, still isn’t sure what exactly Shane’s job title is. The younger McMahon introduces himself as the acting Chairman of the WWF, then promises Steve Austin a title shot against the winner of the Deadly Game tournament the next night.
While Austin hits the ring, cameras catch Vince McMahon arriving in the parking lot. Before Austin can even speak, Vince interrupts the celebrations. He’s not going to be stepping down any time soon (24 years, to be exact, and even that won’t take). Fans chant “assh***” throughout, which Austin helpfully points out to the elder McMahon (but with “hole” muted).
Vince vows not to give up control of the WWF until he dies, then states his wishes to skip the funeral and go straight to hell. It’s all bluster, of course—without a notary present, these wishes are not legally binding on his estate.
As the rectal chants resume, the boss demotes Shane to referee, then threatens to further demote him (should he fail) to the ring crew. And historically, a young man does not want to end up there. To add insult to insult, Vince says Shane isn’t like his father, but like his mother (a woman).
As for Austin, his title shot won’t be on the WWF Raw after the Survivor Series; instead, he will be entered into the Deadly Game tournament against the Big Boss Man and, if he makes it that far, three successive opponents.
Finally, Vince addresses the audience. “Just for the record, I’m not the one who’s an asshole”, he says before being muted seconds too late. “It’s all of you”.
Jim Ross is flabbergasted, and also confused as to why there is a steel cage above the ring. During the commercial break, Vince harangues the announcers but also hints at the cage’s purpose. Someone will be serving “hard time”, which I hope just means a match with the Big Boss Man.
The three non-original members of DX come to the ring and tell their detractors to suck it, but that could prove a mistake given that their opponents are followers of a gothic lifestyle who like to “suck” red liquid.
X-Pac and Edge get the match off to a hot start; X-Pac in particular has been “scintillating” in recent weeks, in the words of one commentator. Edge and Christian then use tandem offense for the first time before Road Dogg tags in.
The match, which perhaps sets a record for most wrestlers who are taller than you think, ends when the lights go out and Kane (who is shorter than you think) walks in and destroys everyone. X-Pac makes the unwise decision to keep jamming his crotch into Christian’s face during Kane’s rampage, making the European champ easy pickings for a chokeslam.
When WWF Raw returns, footage airs from the commercial break. It seems Vince took exception to Michael Cole’s question last week of, “How do you feel?” The Big Boss Man chokes Cole, and Vince turns the question around on the backstage interviewer. This is the most despicable thing the Big Boss Man has done… so far.
“The Droz” now comes to the ring to face fellow LOD member Hawk; the match stems from last night’s Heat, where Hawk cost Droz and Animal a match against the Hardy Boyz. Unfortunately, Hawk is back to his bad habits, stumbling to the ring. Jim Ross compares him to Kerry Collins, the NFL quarterback who was arrested earlier that day for drunk driving.
Droz pummels the inebriated Hawk with no “surcease”, in the words of one commentator, who begs the referee to stop the match. Technically, the bell hasn’t rung, so there is no match to stop. Animal then comes to ringside but does not interfere until referees finally step in; Animal pulls Droz away, then yells at Hawk.
While this match was going on, Vince McMahon accosted Sunday Night Heat commentator Jim Cornette and told him to cut the “1980s wrasslin’ crap”.
Backstage, Michael Cole has words with Al Snow and Mankind. The latter is confident going into their match with the Oddities, as last night he watched Exposed! Wrestling’s Greatest Secrets. He plans to stomp when he punches.
The Oddities make their entrance with no Insane Clown Posse in tow. Dusty Hill from ZZ Top is in the house, however.
Mankind and Al Snow takes turns with the Oddities’ Kurrgan, who ironically is the most normal person in the match. Mankind tries to use Mr. Socko, but he can’t find him. Even after Al Snow hits Kurrgan with Head, Mankind fails to follow up, instead taking off his left shoe in a panic. Socko isn’t there, either, nor is any sock. Does Mankind only own one other sock besides Socko?
Al Snow, now abandoned by his partner, puts up a fight against the Oddities but eventually gets flattened by Golga’s Earthquake Splash, taking the episode’s only pinfall.
More backstage happenings air on a replay; this time, Vince tries to throw out Shaquille O’Neal, who does not have a backstage pass. “I’m Shaquille O’Neal,” says the seven-footer. “I don’t need a backstage pass.” Vince rolls away and tells him to leave, but Shaq stays put, then mouths, “a**hole” to the camera.
Now live on the air, Mankind continues his search for Socko and seeks out Mr. McMahon for help.
The Real Man’s Man Steve Regal, his name misspelled, as “Stephen”, comes down in his hard hat. Slurring his words worse than Hawk, but for real, Regal issues and open challenge to anyone hoping to prove himself a real man’s man. Goldust is the one who heeds the call.
While the comparatively sober Goldust grapples with the sluggish Regal, the announcers bring up Goldust’s wife and her pregnancy announcement last night. Val Venis denies paternity, but Lawler says DNA testing could reveal the truth, like with Thomas Jefferson. Unlike most of King’s topical references, this one is 200 years old.
The pregnant Terri Runnels then comes to the ring with a cigar in hand. Don’t worry, it’s just part of her Marlena costume. Terri is there to ingratiate herself to her estranged husband, and to cheer him on as he tries to get a passable match out of the drug-bloated Regal. Goldust sets Regal up in the corner for Shattered Dreams, but Kane’s lights-out entrance saves the Man’s Man’s manhood.
Stupidly, Goldust tries to fight Kane rather than leave Regal as a sacrificial offering. Kane chokeslams Goldust and Regal before goozling Terri. To the fans’ dismay, referees prevent Kane from chokeslamming the pregnant woman, but they do pop for Tony Garea meeting the same fate as Goldust and Regal.
For the first time, we see the Deadly Game tournament bracket, which features byes for Undertaker and Kane, Mankind vs. a mystery opponent, and the injured Triple H vs. The Rock.
Backstage, Vince McMahon tells Mankind not to interfere in the upcoming Ken Shamrock match. In exchange, he presents Foley with the WWF Hardcore championship belt. McMahon says he might have gained a son in Mankind. When Mankind calls him, “Dad”, though, McMahon looks disgusted.
The 989 Studios Cool Boarders 3 Slam of the Week is the Rock’s People’s Elbow from last week’s WWF Raw.
Ken Shamrock, who moments ago was caught meeting Vince McMahon backstage during—you guessed it—the commercial break, now faces The Rock. The former Intercontinental champion seeks to win back his title, but Vince McMahon adds an extra stipulation: if Rock doesn’t win the IC title tonight, he’ll be kicked out of the Deadly Game tournament. Why? Because The Rock is the People’s Champion, and the people, if you’ll recall, are the ones who are the asshole.
Now extra-motivated, Rocky takes it to Ken Shamrock in the early going. The two then fight outside the ring for a minute and a half without being counted out. While this would have led to The Rock failing to capture the title, McMahon is not upset in the slightest at the referee’s performance. Rocky escapes an ankle lock via a rope break, then knocks Ken and himself with the double-clothesline spot. They trade near-falls until Rock accidentally clotheslines Tim White.
With the referee out of commission, Shamrock grabs a steel chair but hits the top rope—and himself—with it after The Rock dodges. The Rock hits the People’s Elbow, but with no referee to count the pinfall, Shamrock survives to hit Rocky in the back with a chair. That means The Rock wins the match but not the title, eliminating him from the tournament.
An already out-of-date commercial now airs for Survivor Series, advertising The Rock for the Deadly Game tournament. Marc Mero is also featured, despite not being in the bracket. To top it off, it’s advertised as a sixteen-man tournament when we now know it will have only fourteen (and, given that Triple H won’t actually be there, thirteen).
Val Venis is here to compare himself to Hakeem Olajuwon—shooting from the outside, putting it in the hole, etc. He doesn’t even mention the Rockets! Last night Venis declared to Terri Runnels that “‘we’ are not pregnant”. Was he saying he wasn’t going to raise the kid? That he wasn’t the father at all? Or was he just being pedantic?
Val and opponent Jeff Jarrett get in a shoving match after Venis gyrates at Debra. The two wrestle for a few minutes until The Blue Blazer knocks Val on his Venis. Jim Ross says the Blazer is Owen Hart, while Jerry Lawler plays dumb. The Blue Blazer and Jarrett put the boots to Val, who wins by DQ.
The police arrive at the arena before WWF Raw goes to commercial. When the show returns, Vince McMahon tells the cops that The Rock has threatened his life. They can do this the easy way or the hard way, but unfortunately Vince can’t remember whether The Bossman constitutes the easy way or the hard way.
The Head Bangers come out dressed up as the “New Age Idiots” with toy title belts. First Mosh, or “Puppy Dogg Jerky James”, does a high-pitched introduction of himself and “Dumbass Rockabilly”. Thrasher then admits that, while he does have a nice ass, it’s because he has implants. In other words, Billy Gunn’s ass is simply too good to be true. You tell ‘em, Thrasher.
In other news, seeing as “many of you are into the internet”, Jim Ross announces the launch of StoneCold.com.
The Bangers wrestle fellow heels Mark Henry and D-Lo Brown for the right to challenge the real New Age Outlaws for the titles. For a match with no one anyone likes, it is received as well as can be expected. Mark Henry’s knee buckles catching Thrasher on a plancha just before the lights go out. It’s Kane once more.
Smartly, D-Lo throws Mosh into Kane, but less smartly, turns his back to celebrate while still in the ring. Kane thus catches Brown and chokeslams him and Mosh simultaneously, showcasing his “unmitigated power”, in the words of one commentator.
Backstage, The Rock trash-talks the police as they handcuff him. When WWF Raw returns, he’s still talking trash but limits himself to calling them pieces of trash and telling them to eat donuts. Anything he says can and will be used against him in a court of law, after all! Vince McMahon’s presence fails to de-escalate the situation.
The retired Owen Hart makes a special appearance to hear from Dan Severn, whom he injured five weeks ago. In his neck brace, Severn doubts Owen’s sincerity, given that his retirement is phony and he’s the Blue Blazer. In fact, says Dan, Owen is scum. This provokes Owen into clotheslining the injured Severn before Steve Blackman makes the save.
Dan Severn is loaded into an ambulance when WWF Raw returns. Steve Blackman then spots Owen Hart, whom he bicycle-kicks. “Leave me alone, I’m retired,” pleads Hart. The Blue Blazer then swoops in to make the save for his good friend Owen Hart. The Blazer locks Blackman in a dragon sleeper, at which point Owen kicks Steve square between the legs. Jim Ross is flummoxed; he could have sworn that Owen Hart was the Blue Blazer!
The steel cage now lowers to the arena floor. It’s a hybrid cage, consisting of the baby-blue playground-style cage with a modern tressing at the top to allow it to be raised and lowered from the ceiling.
It’s now the last segment of WWF Raw, as there are no more commercials. So “just whom is going to pay hard time” as Vince puts it, ungrammatically? If he could, the boss would put “each and every one of you” into the cage. He takes a very long time getting a good seat at ringside (in front of the Spanish announce desk, a rarity at WWF Raw); this serves to distract the audience’s attention from the guys painting some pink substance on the cage bars.
The Bossman and the stooges enter the cage and check that it’s secure, at which point Vince reveals tonight’s victims: the stooges themselves, for abandoning him two weeks ago to get coffee.
Bossman beats the three suits with his nightstick, and when Pat Patterson climbs the cage to escape, McMahon urges Bossman to yank him off. The cage. McMahon is gracious enough, however, to name-drop the Brisco Brothers Body Shop.
Mr. McMahon now tells Bossman to rip their clothes off, forgoing the barking like a dog part. Bossman manages to snag Patterson’s jacket, but Stone Cold arrives to save us all from any further horror. While Austin pounds Bossman, Patterson uses the nightstick to hit not Bossman, but Stone Cold.
Now it’s Shane McMahon’s turn, attempting to save Austin but instead getting into a staredown with the Bossman. Vince tells his rent-a-cop to let his son go, but Shane flips off his dad. With pink gloop in the background, Shane proves that the weird-looking bird gesture runs in the family.
Shane leaves, but the Undertaker’s music hits, leading to an in-ring brawl with Austin. Taker has the upper hand until the lights go out a fourth and final time. This time, Kane’s pyro sets part of the steel cage on fire (the parts with the gloop). All three men duke it out as WWF Raw goes off the air.
Final tally:
4 Kane run-ins
2 other disqualifications
1 Blue Blazer, who is not Owen Hart