INDUCTION: WrestleMania 32 – 2016 Gooker Award Winner

62 Submitted by on Thu, 26 January 2017, 20:00

WWE, 2016

Many years ago, I more or less had a nervous breakdown.  And many of you reading this today bore witness to it as it happened on air.

Prior to a WrestleCrap Radio episode that I wish I could forget (amazingly even more than the others), I was discussing the itinerary with my co-host, Mr. Blade Braxton.  If you’ve ever listened to the show, you’re well aware of his penchant for getting off topic and rambling about nonsense for who knows how long.  At the time, I was attempting to work on a possible radio deal (seriously, not making that up) for the show and so I talked with him prior to recording, asking politely that he stay on course for once and we try to do a show that was a bit more tight that ones we’d done in the past so we could submit it for a possible terrestrial radio station time slot.

And we all know how well that went.

It led to an infamous rant, one in which I absolutely blew my top, screaming at him about how no one wanted to listen to a show that was “SIX F***ING HOURS LONG.”  As y’all know, I almost never swear.  But in this instance, I lost my cool completely as he just kept going blah blah about some dude in a Creature from the Black Lagoon mask or something and just wouldn’t shut up.  The rest as they say is history.  It’s brought up all the time, and try as I might to forgive myself for it, it’s something I have to live with the rest of my days.

Why would I bring this up prior to penning this induction, this Gooker winning induction?

Because while I remember nothing else about this show, I do remember that it was also six hours long.

If you want to throw profanity in between “six” and “hours”, that’s your call.

But what else was wrong with it?

What caused 34% of the Gooker voting public to push it over the top and give it the award?

Only one way to find out!  So let’s dig into this pile of crap!

And our opening contest, scheduled for one fall (read that in a Howard Finkel voice or get off my site) features…well…a mostly empty stadium!

I know folks had a bit of a challenge getting into the building, but geez, it’s WrestleMania.  And if I had a ticket as close as these seats are, you can bet your sweet Fanny Adams I would be there at like 6am smearing my drool on the door.  That there are empty seats leads me to something you are going to hear multiple times today – no one wants to attend a six hour wrestling show – not even if it’s the biggest show of the year, and moreover, not even if they are PAYING TO BE THERE.  This match took place over an hour (67 minutes) prior to the main show even kicking off, and if you were expecting a barn burner to get the (non-existent) crowd going, well…

…I mean, you’re getting Kalisto vs. Ryback.  So don’t set those sights too high.  I suppose if seeing the big guy clubber Kalisto’s back with forearms is a good time (and to be fair, Ryback yelled out this was a “WrestleMania moment, brother!” as he did so which did make me laugh), then this is the match for you.  But I think that kinda sucks, as did the finish when Kalisto yanked a turnbuckle cover off blatantly in front of the ref and Ryback ran headfirst into it.

Oh boy.

A 10-Diva tag team match is next, and…hey, is that Emmalina?  She actually debuted?  I thought that was a rib.

(Consults notes.)

Oh wait, my bad.  It’s actually Emma.  You can understand how I’d get confused, they look kinda similar and their names are nearly identical.  Silly me.  Anyway, it’s actually Team Total Divas vs. Team B.A.D. and Blonde, and it features Lana making her in-ring debut!  I bet she’s going to be great!  So she throws a few decent looking kicks and some of the worst punches you’ll ever see until, well 30 seconds later when Paige uncorked a few so hideous they’d make Shane McMahon shake his head.

We then go into the PAUL HEYMAN ECW SPECIAL where everyone hits their finishers in sequence on each other, until finally Lana interferes and necks Brie on the top rope.  Naturally this leads right to the finish, where Brie taps out Naomi.

For the record, that may have been the least effective interference I’ve ever seen.

Next up it’s the Usos versus the Dudley Boyz in nothing more than a standard, run of the mill house show match.  Because nothing says WRESTLEMANIA more than that!  I mean, no offense to the guys, but this is literally the definition of filling time.  The crowd finally comes to life as Bubba and D-Von get the tables which leads of course to…

…them being splashed through said tables by the Usos.

The crowd boos its disapproval as that was clearly not what they wanted.

Trust me, kids, that too will become a theme for the evening.

The opener for the main card is this here ladder match for the Intercontinental title and it admittedly features a a lot of good action, including a fairly riveting match long battle between Kevin Owens and Sami Zayn. Sure, we get the standard “guy climbs ladder really slowly so as to make sure someone else stops him” bits, but overall, not bad.  In fact, I dare say, really kinda fun.  In a true shocker, our winner is…

…ZACK RYDER?!

Mad props for that, as I have always viewed Zack as a guy this company screwed over well and truly.  He took that old “get yourself over speech”, did so via his goofy internet show, had a gazillion followers, and then was flushed down the toilet repeatedly for no good reason.  So yes, a true feelgood moment here, and the crowd was very excited for it.

But hey, don’t get too excited folks – we can’t have you happy or anything.  So while Ryder would get his “WrestleMania Moment”, he would lose the title the very next night on Raw.  Because in addition to putting on shows that are just too darn long, WWE also doesn’t want you happy about anything for any length of time.

The very next match showed what I am talking about as well.  AJ Styles had come into the company as something of a wild card.  Debuting at the Royal Rumble, those backstage, including one Vincent McMahon, was unsure if the fans would latch onto AJ.  I mean, he was quarantined to TNA for seemingly his entire prime.  Would anyone even know the guy?

They did of course immediately respond, and sure enough, he was able to secure a match against Chris Jericho on WWE’s biggest show.  Now you look at this, and you have a very hot AJ taking on Jericho, who while great, is obviously in the latter stages of his career.  So naturally he could give AJ a boost to the next level by putting him over after an action packed match.

Eh, you know how this story ends.

To be fair, even following this company as long as I have, I had pretty much the same reaction as AJ.

In fact, I am going to steal that and use it over and over and over again in the years to come.  Soon, AJ, you will be as well loved as other WrestleCrap luminaries, such as…

Man Mountain Rock and…

…AJ!

I mean the other AJ.

We’ve come full circle!

We get the New Day emerging from a giant box of cereal next, and I have to admit, that there is a winner of an entrance.  Like if you asked me to come up with the best possible way to make an appearance at a wrestling show ever, jumping out of a giant box of cereal would be right at the top of the list.

So yay New Day!

Unfortunately, their opponents would be the League of Nations.  Holy crap, I had almost washed that amazingly awful group from my memory, a team that got together and did nothing but have excruciatingly boring matches for months on end.

And poor Rusev.  I mean sweet Christmas, he went from driving a TANK at Wrestlemania…

…to kicking oversized cereal pieces with the likes of Alberto Del Rio.  That’s wrong in like a million different ways.

So you have this act that is very over (New Day) and the other that couldn’t get heat with a blow torch, which leads to the crowd going completely silent.  They have an utterly useless match and three guesses as to who goes over?

Of course.

Still, this does lead to some true stars coming out.

I mean, guys who were stars 15 years ago, but at this point you take what you can get.

Austin, Shawn, and Mick make quick work of the League.  We even get Rusev taking a pretty Rocktastic Stone Cold Stunner.

I mean, he didn’t wobble around and spit beer into the air or anything, but it was still pretty good.  In fact, he kinda looks more like Batista.  Remember that?

So the New Day gets back in, and they attempt to convince the legends to dance.  Foley of course is completely down with this (like Dude Love would pass on such an invite), and Shawn gives in a wiggles a bit (he was a Rocker).

That just leaves the Rattlesnake.

Ok, have to admit, that was pretty great as well.

I mean, that GIF right there has me thinking that inducting this may be wrong, and it being a Gooker award winner is kinda a travesty.

Wait, this thing still has MORE THAN THREE AND A HALF HOURS TO GO????!!!!

Are you freaking kidding me?!!!!

Ok, bring on Ambrose vs. Brock, as we start hitting disaster central.

Look, I like Dean Ambrose, I really do.  He’s amusing and generally has really good matches.  But anytime he is presented as more than a upper mid card goof, sorry, I just can’t buy the act.  I look at him just like Brock does above.  Well, except that Brock’s look of mild amusement barely hides a look of “you do realize I can break you in half with the same effort it takes me to brush my teeth.”  I don’t have that.

THIS is the guy you’re going to have Brock use up one of his really few annual matches against??  Matches that give him paychecks large enough to buy houses with each one?  And after like four of them he can trade in those houses for hotels on Boardwalk?

Anyway, Dean gets a bunch of weapons including a barbed wire bat that he decides to make out with for whatever reason.  Eh, he kinda deserved to get the crap beat out of him for being that dumb.  A Lesnar F5 ends it all, after the future nemesis of USADA controlled roughly 85 percent of the match. I think Daniel Bryan actually got in more offense on Sheamus at WrestleMania four years earlier.

Meanwhile, two months later, Ambrose would win the WWE Championship, so it was a good thing WWE made him look so strong in front of their biggest audience of the year.

To quote Paul Heyman at ringside, “it’s a long painful night!”

You said it Paul E!

THREE MORE HOURS TO GO!

After too many video packages, we get WWE Hall of Famer Snoop Dogg!

Ok, stop.  I need to rant a second here.

Any time I hear someone ask, “Do you think so and so will ever be in the WWE Hall of Fame?”, I nearly blow a gasket.  I mean, seriously, this is a Hall of Fame that features Snoop Dogg, Drew Carey, and Vince McMahon Sr’s limo driver.

DOES IT REALLY MATTER WHO IS IN IT?????

Snoop sings Sasha Banks’ theme music as “The Boss” makes her way to the ring.  I’ve never been the world’s biggest Sasha Banks fan (her sunglasses and ‘boss’ ring look like something that came out of a skill crane at Chuck E. Cheese; also, her giant forehead that kinda/sorta makes her look like Low Ki in an anime wig bothers me), but she was white hot at this time and it was obviously time for her to capture the gold.  I mean, you brought out Snoop Dogg (WWE HALL OF FAMER SNOOP DOGG!!!!) to usher in her championship reign, AND you have Becky Lynch in there to take the fall so Charlotte can easily state that she was never beaten by Sasha, thus setting up easy rematches between the two.

The fans desperately want a Sasha win, it’s WrestleMania, the biggest show of the year, and everything is lined up perfectly to make those fans happy…I mean, you ARE going to give it to them, yeah?

You do realize what show you are watching?

Need a reminder?

If I said, “We still have two and a half hours to go!”, would that help?

How about this graphic?  That ring any bells?

I remember when this match was originally rumored, and everyone was completely sure that it had to be a rib.  HAD to be a rib.  I mean, really, The Undertaker going into  his one match of the year at WrestleMania against SHANE MCMAHON.

The guy who threw THESE punches:

And THESE punches:

Only one thing I can say watching those one more time.

Exactly.  Thank you, AJ.

For crying out loud, Ralphie Parker hit Scut Farkus with more convincing slugs than the ones Shane’s been throwing for years. If WWE ever dubbed in Ralphie’s muttered curse words from that after-school beatdown over top of Shane-O-Mac’s sparring sessions….well, it’d be funnier than that abysmal “Old Day” skit, that’s for sure.

The storyline setting up the match was even more ridiculous, as Shane wanted control of the company, specifically Raw.  Of course Vince didn’t want that, but he was willing to offer him the chance to get what he wanted…if he could beat The Undertaker.

Now WHY exactly the Undertaker would ever help Vince was never fully even vaguely explained.  It was just going to happen and that was that.  So we got an absolutely boring match that went on forever (over a half hour!) all of which led to Shane doing what Shane does best.

Jumping off something really high and looking like an idiot in the process.

So Shane loses the match (and nearly his life) and thus doesn’t get control of Raw.

I mean, until the next night he just kinda wound up with control of Raw for reasons that again were never fully even vaguely explained.  It was frankly so idiotic the whole story kinda needs an induction in and of itself.  Art, why don’t you get on that.  I’ve suffered enough.

Speaking of, how much time is left in this stupid show?

Seriously, how.

HOW CAN THERE BE ANOTHER HOUR AND FORTY MINUTES???

I feel like I’ve had to shave 43 times since this thing started.

I mean, was anyone on planet earth sitting through FOUR HOURS of this already and thinking, “You know what I want to see?  Bo Dallas in a battle royal!”  But that’s what we got, featuring him and a bunch of other goofs.  It also featured in a completely unadvertised appearance…

SHAQUILLE O’ NEAL!  I mean, that’s great, bring the guy in, celebrities when used properly can help a wrestling show.  But at least let folks know about it ahead of time.  He’s one of the biggest stars in NBA and I am sure there would be basketball fans that would want to see what he could do inside a wrestling rin…wait, stop, time out.

Who is that over his shoulder?

TATANKA?

BUFFALO?

You didn’t advertise HIM in advance either?

I know, right?

And Tatanka just showing up is far more exciting than the match itself, which was won by the equally low ceilinged (but don’t tell that to Vince because he’s tall) Baron Corbin.

Here is our winner celebrating with the Andre the Giant statue, which no longer looks like it’s made of chocolate, but rather melted down coins from a 7 Wonders board game.

Never thought I’d get to make THAT particular reference on the site.

Under an hour and a half left!

So let’s waste more of my precious time on earth by bringing out…

…the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders!

Man, I bet I could have trimmed this show down to like 90 minutes and it would have been the best WrestleMania ever.

Of course, my version would have just consisted of this running on a loop.

Anyway, let’s get Rock out here…with a flame thrower!

No really.

He does his usual schtick and shows why he has more charisma than all the current guys in the company combined times ten.  That’s the great thing about Rock appearances and the awful thing about Rock appearances – you realize just how lame the product we are subjected to each and every week truly is.  Sadly, sing-a-long with the Rock is interrupted by…

…the Wyatt family.  Much like a lot of the rest of this show, that sure is random.  And long.  I am kinda used to Bray babbling on for minutes on end, but here it seems like it’s gotta be at least an hour.  Which come to think of it would be good, because this show would be over.

DANG IT!

Rock bring the ha ha with jokes about Cracker Barrel, breast feeding, and Hot Pockets, somehow leading to a match featuring him against…

…Erick Rowan.

No, not Bray Wyatt.

ERICK ROWAN.

And it lasts all of six seconds.

Hey, how have we never inducted Rowan’s face run as a vintner?  That was horrible.

Not as horrible as this show mind you, but still induction worthy.

Anyway, the Wyatts surround the ring and it looks like Rock is doomed…

…only to be saved by John Cena.

I think I’ve seen old WCW Battle Bowls that were less random than this.

Whatever, it’s got to be almost over.

Good Lord, another 45 minutes for one match?

Who thought that would be a good idea?

Who else?

So yes, kids, we finally get to the main event of the evening, with Triple H defending against the guy only one person in the world thinks should be the company’s numero uno babyface, Roman Reigns.  Look, I will spare you another 10,000 words of why Reigns isn’t now and never will be the guy Vince McMahon wants to be the face of the company.  There are lots of other places you can get that diatribe and they’d likely all be written better than by me, who is ready to collapse from watching this idiotic show again.  Instead, let’s focus on the match itself and why it is one of the worst main events in WrestleMania history.

Amazingly, it doesn’t end with Steph’s Evil-Lyn impersonation.

Although it must be noted that in her pre-match spiel, Aunty Stephtity screeched, “You are mere shells of humanity, Hanging onto the empty notion of hope. Hope for a savior, hope for someone or something, will take away the pain, That is your pathetic lives.”

Wow. That’s more truth than you get in your typical Kayfabe Commentaries YouShoot. And here we used to think the McMahons didn’t understand the core WWE audience.

Anyhow, the closer of WrestleMania 32 focuses more on Hunter’s never-ending belief that he can get a great match out of anyone, and Vince’s belief that Roman is the guy everyone wants on top.  Add those two together and we get a match lasting more than a half hour and was about the most boring thirty minutes you could possibly imagine.  Much like this show, it just keeps going on and on and on and on, with tables being broken, guardrails being smashed, and more punchy-kicky action than I ever needed to witness.

The crowd is so enthralled they begin to chant for Nakamura.

That is a WrestleMania failure.

In the end, though, it doesn’t matter – because Hunter got his 30 minute match and Vince got Roman on top, reaching “immortality” at WrestleMania.

Just one problem.  See that guy behind Roman?  Let me zoom in a bit.

Yeah, that would be a guy who paid who knows how much to get a front row ticket to give the new champ a big thumbs down.  And he wasn’t the only one, as the crowd booed mightily as the clock slowly, mercifully ticked to zero.

In the end, Roman won not only the WWE title, but also helped WrestleMania bring home the Gooker.

And for some reason, I am guessing that Roman may get another Gooker or two before his days are done.

Written by

Yeah, you know...the WrestleCrap guy. Been here since before day 1, I have. You can hang out with me on Facebook. (I'm on there quite a bit) or follow my exploits on Twitter (I'm on there not quite so often). Thanks, and Keep on Crappin'!
62 Responses to "INDUCTION: WrestleMania 32 – 2016 Gooker Award Winner"
  1. NightmareNear says:

    Oh this is beautiful.

  2. Andrew says:

    Yeah I was like at the end, damn this went 6 hours, hope they don’t do that this year

  3. Alexandru says:

    Yeah this crapfest was soooo long I’m pretty sure I had a Birthday

  4. CF says:

    The Best Match Of The Night is between the WCW Guy, and the TNA Guy.

    And that right there tells you everything you need to know about WWE.

  5. MerelyAFan says:

    I think it was the triple threat awful (with apologies to Target’s Shane Douglas) that made this Mania worthy. First, it was a long show that gradually chipped away at the energy of the crowd and viewers at home (compare this to a more concise card like WMX7 or XXIII and you see how lousy time management’s gotten). Second, the constant heel wins up and down the card which further brought everybody’s spirits down. And most damning of all… none of it mattered:

    -AJ lost his big Wrestlemania debut and became No. 1 contender the next night.
    -Ryder had this great moment in the sun and lost the belt to Miz in 24 hours.
    -Shane was defeated in his quest to get control of part of WWE and not only ran Raw several times, but is now in control of his own show with Vince’s permission.
    -Ambrose was ground into dust and became WWE champ months later.
    – League of Nations beat the Tag Champs, only to soon kick out Barrett and disband entirely shortly after that.
    -Corbin achieved this huge victory and then did nothing for 6 months.
    -Roman had his big coming out party via defeating the Authority and becoming WWE champion, and by Summerslam had lost the belt, and was probably even less popular to fans. Oh and HHH has since come back and screwed over a babyface fo do what’s best for business.

    So you have a ridiculously long event that shows your heroes losing and is ultimately pointless for anything remotely important. Grandaddy of them All! Showcase of the Immortals! And a well deserved winner of the Gooker.

  6. Another Dave says:

    31 years.

    I waited 31 years for WrestleMania to come to my town.

    I waited 31 years to go to WrestleMania and see the Granddaddy of them all first hand.

    AND THIS IS WHAT I GOT?!

  7. Mister Forth says:

    Forbes predicted this would be better than TakeOver.

  8. Walter The Walloper says:

    I would have been happy either if this ended or my life did, whichever was sooner.

    Wrestlemania weekend is great, it’s the best time to like Pro Wrestling, but this one, I think I had more entertaining days at work, full of boss meetings.

    At least after those hours, I got paid, not the other way round!

    Great write up Wrestlecrap. Loved it!

  9. Unknown says:

    If you want to induct PPVs, how about Uncensored 1995 (WCW)? It has, among other things, a King of the Road match between Dustin Rhodes and Blacktop Bully that probably prompted Dustin’s departure to the WWF, Ric Flair in drag (really!), a food fight between the Nasty Boys and Harlem Heat, and Ric Flair still, still doing the job in a match he wasn’t even in.

    It’s long overdue for an induction, IMO…

  10. Cpt SuckerPunch says:

    Ha ha ha! What an induction! Terrific stuff RD sir! At the time of this mania I remember not being much at all excited for it. Later, looking back at it or had thought it probably wasn’t that bad actually. Had the ladder match and the women’s match.

    When RD brings up the timer for the first time…I literally said “oh my god” out loud three times. Ha ha. Good god this mania! There really is alotta of nonsensical crap going on. And the theme of the next nights raw being “none of mania actually matured”, that is the cherry on top.

    I really thought at first, I don’t know if mania should be up for the gooker that seems like a bit much, but when you really look at the whole picture…Yeah, it totally does. Not even the whole picture, just the card and what we got.

    What coulda really helped this, I thought at the time and still do, ia that Steen and Sami should’ve just had a one on one match for the IC belt.

  11. Scrooge McSuck says:

    God, it’s even worse reading about it. I tried watching it again, and the first half of the show, minus the booking choices, is OK for the wrestling, but then it grinds to a slow motion crawl, and each match becomes even more of a chore, and the booking decisions aren’t much better there, either.

  12. BaltoJim says:

    You should warn a guy before he scrolls down to that Nipple H gif! I got so scared that all I could think to do was to take a step back, then throw my hands up and jump backwards, Batista-style…

  13. Max Moon says:

    WTF is up with the WWE constantly trotting out old-timers to bury current stars and matches at Wrestlemania? Nothing irritates me more to see these old retirees get the better of current day stars, and champs no less. It would be like Superstar Billy Graham, Ivan Koloff, and Bruno Sammartino showing up at Wrestlemania 14 and laying waste to DX. It’s ludicrous! This nostalgia thing has gone way off the deep end in recent years.

    • Greg says:

      As I pointed out before, you’re wrong. It popped the crowd. LoN wasn’t over anyways. Only gave a stunner to Woods for comedy. Austin, Foley and Shawn are way bigger names than Graham, Koloff and Bruno. DX was over so it would be way different to get beat up by legends. No harm done because LoN didn’t matter. They formed due to the 12,000 injuries and were not meant to be a long-term angle.

      Not everything has to be full speed ahead. Sometimes you can just have fun.

      • Justin Henry says:

        “Sometimes you can just have fun.”

        Sure. Royal Rumble, Survivor Series, NXT TakeOvers, SmackDown from July onward…

      • Guest says:

        Yeah saying LON wasn’t meant to be long term is like saying the Ascension were meant to be jobbers. If they had better booked them along with the fact that if two of it’s members weren’t on the cusp of leaving they’d still be hanging around.

        • Greg says:

          They formed to plug the hole that was left by injuries. Each guy wasn’t over enough to carry a top program by themselves. They made them a faction to hide that. Short-term story for Roman to get to the Rumble then were not needed anymore. No one cared about Sheamus. Del Rio was still boring. Barrett was good but then got injured. Rusev was good but he wasn’t ready for the main event yet.

          Your analogy is way off. They were not interesting and were obvious filler.

      • JimbobJones says:

        Actually, YOU’RE wrong.

        Part of the reason these people aren’t over is because we’re being CONSTANTLY reminded about how much better the stars of the Attitude Era were. If WWE isn’t willing to treat their stars seriously, why the hell should anyone else?

        Max Moon’s comment is pretty much spot-on. If I want to see Attitude Era stars, I’ll watch shows from then (for only $9.99, MAGGLE!)

        • Greg says:

          I can read. Don’t need to capitalize anything. You’re an idiot vs YOU’RE an idiot. Same message.

          The faction that formed literally to plug holes caused by 50 injuries. They were not supposed to be in that spot and consequently no one cared. Reigns vs Sheamus is not a match that people want. Sheamus could murder Stone Cold and then eat him yet Sheamus vs Reigns would still suck. Why? Not because a not fresh Sheamus got slightly beatdown but because he isn’t that interesting.

          It was a cool moment for the fans. They beat up guys (who just went through a match so they weren’t fresh) that don’t matter. They weren’t supposed to matter. It did no harm. It was one time and at an appropriate stage.

          Again, not everything has to be full speed ahead. Thought Ambrose should have beat Lesnar but he recovered nicely. Thought Wyatt should have beat Taker at Mania 31. LoN getting beatdown was fine and no harm was done to anyone important. It’s okay to pop the crowd.

  14. Gerard says:

    remember when wrestlemania used to be a big deal like superbowl or the world series?? now its just a king sized embaressment. time for vince to take this puppy out behind the woodshed and put it out of its misery

  15. Will says:

    What’s really sad is that more than 100,000 people showed up to this mess. When people complain about WWE not putting on a decent product, this is the reason why. They have no incentive to make the shows any better when people are going to attend no matter what just because it’s Wrestlemania. This card wasn’t even good enough for an In Your House, let alone the biggest event of the year. The fans should really expect more.

    • Guest says:

      Not attending doesn’t give them incentive to do better either. People tend to forget when they were going through that rough patch in the 90’s they were still putting on shows even when attendance was low.

  16. Thomas Moffatt says:

    WM 32 could have been a lot worse. Apparently, before ‘that’ incident in 2015 Hulk Hogan was pushing for a title reign (I think he pitched the idea of #30 in the Rumble with the title on the line which was itself used by Triple H) which didn’t happen due to someone seeing sense. Then he began to push for a last WM match. Didn’t happen. THEN he started pushing for a match with Ric Flair. You know, Ric Flair who managed his daughter at WM32. Could you see where that could be going?

    • Greg says:

      Hogan kept “pushing” for a match the entire time when he came back. Mostly joking about facing Cena.

      If you honestly believe that WWE was going to give Hogan a match, you’re insane.

      Roman vs HHH went 27 minutes and not over 30. I assume though that you’re counting entrances to get the over 30 time.

      • Thomas Moffatt says:

        But they could have given his awful daughter a match against Charlotte Flair.

        By #30 I meant the number in the Rumble.

        • Greg says:

          I was referring to the main post about the 30 minute thing. I knew what you meant about Hogan/rumble thing.

          Brooke isn’t a wrestler and doesn’t seem to be interested in being one. Vince has made very confusing decisions his whole career but I highly doubt he would even consider Brooke vs Charlotte.

      • JimbobJones says:

        Are you kidding me? If not for the racism, WWE would have EASILY given Hogan a match. If you think they wouldn’t have, you’re insane.

        And when it comes to debating 3 minutes in a match where everyone HATES the supposed face (in an “XPac heat” kind of way), then it’s clear that you will never see any wrong with WWE. Good for you on your love of their crap. I like more quality in what I watch.

        • Greg says:

          Um, wow.

          You’re insane to think they would let Hogan do anything in his state. Daniel Bryan isn’t cleared for a reason. Hogan absolutely would not be cleared.

          I hated Reigns vs HHH. It was a snooze fest. HHH/Vince should have called an audible and let Reigns kill him in a short match. They didn’t read the crowd.

          Also, if you like NJPW or whatever over WWE, I think that is just swell. Different strokes for different folks.

          Cena vs AJ is quality. Ellsworth stuff isn’t. WWE has some crap but pretending they suck is an enormous overstatement.

  17. Wayne says:

    Man, this show was a COMPLETE chore to sit through that night. I literally have NO reason to ever revisit this show in my lifetime.

  18. Vealchop says:

    While this was a great induction I’m so looking forward to when the Shelly Martinez/Rebel match gets inducted. That induction seems tailor made for Blade.

  19. Guest says:

    (her giant forehead that kinda/sorta makes her look like Low Ki in an anime wig bothers me)

    You’re wrong for this RD dead wrong.

  20. darkrage6 says:

    I can see why people voted for this, but I was hoping TNA would win, it was mindblowing how bad it got, and I don’t think Anthem re-branding the name is going to salvage them, I think like AOL-Time Warner, Anthem will realize that TNA is nothing but a giant money pit that’s long overspent it’s goodwill, at this point changing the name is like trying to put a band-aid on a broken leg.

  21. Big Daddy Strong says:

    I said it before, I’ll say it again…….WM 32 DESERVED to win this award. Enough with TNA. TNA has been in a death spiral for years now and are still somehow hanging on. That’s more than WCW was able to do with way more resources. Not to mention they probably had the most over, unlikely angle/gimmick with Broken Matt Hardy. So much so, the DELETE! chant permeated WWE crowds and WWE blatantly ripped off the Hardy’s with the whole Wyatt Compound match involving NEw Day.

    I’m no TNA mark but they get dumped on all the time and don’t have anywhere near the capabilities of the WWE. So when the WWE shat the bed on the biggest stage of them all, then yes, it’s their turn to partake of the Gooker. They just seemed to get everything wrong. Too long and too wrong. Injuries to top stars aside, they still had plenty of talent to draw from and you would think someone would have taken a look around and saw this was the PERFECT opportunity to put over some of the younger, fresher guys in their absence.

    But no. It was the same old crap just drawn out and spread too thin. It was just the perfect storm of complete incompetence and complete disregard for what the fans wanted or what the company needed to do to re-establish itself going forward. Let’s have the show go 2 hours too long, let’s have all the hot properties LOSE their matches, let’s keep trying to put this one guy over as THE GUY going on a year and half at the time (2 and a half years now) let’s waste the two biggest draws (Lesnar and Undertaker) in senseless matches, let’s have an awkward segment involving The Rock, the Wyatts and then John Cena.

    So literally like 2 things happened that were WM worthy. Austin stunning Woods and Ryder winning the IC title. And as mentioned, that was wiped out the next night. So we get one comedic moment out of 6 hours? Like I said, this deserved it.

    • Mark says:

      I always thought the Wyatt Compound match happened before the Final Deletion? My memory on when things happen can be off, but I remember seeing the ads for FD, and it seemed like it was after the New Day had went to the Wyatts.

      • Tim says:

        Wyatt Compound I think was a week after the first Final Deletion (might have been 2 weeks after but it was definitely after). Wyatt Compound was advertised a week before so this might have been a case of coincidence.

        • JimbobJones says:

          Final Deletion was on Impact on the 5th of July. WWE’s copycat crap aired the 11th.

          However, many people had the Final Deletion in-hand via “preview copies” a while before it aired on Impact (including several WWE superstars) meaning that folks in WWE had seen it well before the Raw where they announced their stupidity.

          This wasn’t coincidence, just a blatant attempt of WWE to rip-off a group that did something interesting.

          • Greg says:

            I can buy they copied it. I’m willing to give them the benefit of the doubt (they did did Wyatt compound stuff in the past) but I wouldn’t be surprised.

            TNA ripped off Punk leaving (and showed why WWE did it right) and Daniel Bryan with EY. But hey WWE doing it maybe once is the worst thing ever.

            • JimbobJones says:

              I never once said WWE ripping off TNA is the “worst thing ever”. I find the hypocrisy of it delicious, but feds have ripped each other off from the dawn of time.

              As for Punk, WWE didn’t do it right AT ALL. They actually did a shit job of it outside of the original pipe bomb promo.

              ROH did it right. With Punk. WWE just copied it (with the exact same performer, no less) and made it crap.

    • JimbobJones says:

      If the TNA stuff had been on air for any length of time — for example, if Dixie and Corgan had feuded on-air “for control of the company” or some such BS — I would think TNA should win. But to win a Gooker for what are essentially business issues is just stupid. Hell, for a change TNA surprised me by NOT having their backstage crap on-air.

      That’s why the 2010 mess deserved a Gooker. That’s why heel Dixie kind of deserved a Gooker. That’s why this year, when they actually left the backstage crap backstage, did not.

  22. Caveman says:

    After watching the Royal Rumble, I have the feeling that Wrestlemania might be gunning for back to back Gooker awards.

  23. Ze Frenchie says:

    Great induction, RD! But I feel it’s missing something, a GIF of Zach Ryder’s father going into the ring and putting a funny looking hat on Zach’s head before Ryder just threw it away vehemently.

  24. Christopher Haydu says:

    “I mean, guys who were stars fifteen years ago. But at this point, we’ll take what we can get.”

    Sigh. With that comment, Austin, Michaels and Foley have finally passed into the realm of no longer being relevant. Childhood is destroyed a little more now…. 🙁

  25. PartsUnknown says:

    I love WrestleCrap, long time reader, first time poster. I know this might not be appropriate, but I want to give a shout out to Uproxx.com and the comprehensive coverage of old-school RAW and WCW. Brandon Stroud is killing it with the recaps. Whatculture.com too! Bring back the jobbers!!

    • Tom says:

      I love how WhatCulture makes list that can fit on one page but instead break it up into 10 pages with a bunch of ads.

      Wrestlecrap actually gives us content without hiding behind a bunch of ads.

  26. KatieVictoriasSecret says:

    Random observation: I completely forgot the League of Nations was a thing

    Not-so-Random observation: another excellent induction!

    Remember when Mania was THE blow-off show of the year, the place where epic matches resulted in satisfying results that also built up the promotion. Yeah. I don’t know why focus has shifted to satisfying RAW watchers especially when they don’t have any viable competition on the same night within the industry and keeping Network customers satisfied is important to their bottom line. It’s beyond time they pulled the trigger on a Reigns heel turn but they seem to be leaning in the direction of him defeating Taker/possibly retiring him. The booking’s been so wobbly for the past two years.

  27. K7 says:

    This was also a wonderful example of Vince telling the sound crew to all but mute the crowd right after a Reigns win. That crowd was hilariously against Reigns after that win.

  28. Alvin says:

    And to this day WM32 still hasn’t ended.

  29. MistaMaddog says:

    Wow, that’s ‘really’ was bad… It’s all the lame garbage the WWE has been shoving down everyone’s throats compressed in six straight hours.

    And I take back my vote for “All Things TNA” because at least they have new owners now. The WWE will always be owned by the McMahons and their steroid fetish.

  30. Bob says:

    In fairness to the IC match, IIRC, Ryder wasn’t booked to win or even come close to winning. The rest of the guys in the match got together and convinced McMahon to let Ryder have his ‘Wrestlemania Moment’. Which if it’s true, shows a lot of class on their part.

    • Greg says:

      Nope. Heels couldn’t win for the story to work. Sin Cara wouldn’t have worked. Sami Zayn couldn’t take that kind of loss. So that leaves Ryder.

  31. Jon Milne says:

    Gotta defend Ambrose here. There’s a very good reason why he was used in a match with Brock Lesnar. Because he was OVER, getting huge face pops from crowds. Hell, even despite the fact he was on the losing end at Roadblock, his match with Triple H for the title was pretty damn solid and was everything that Triple H/Reigns wasn’t.

    Ambrose doesn’t deserve nearly the amount of blame for his Wrestlemania match sucking as you put on him here. Lesnar deserves far more blame, since he just stuck to the same old boring formula that comprises pretty much EVERY match he’s had since he came back to the WWE. 2016 proved that Lesnar is an absolute asshole who no longer seems to care. It says a lot about how unpopular Lesnar got that watching him be squashed in less than 2 minutes to a 50 year old guy who hadn’t wrestled in 12 years brought some sweet schadenfreude.

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