Induction: The Indecent Proposal Match: The only wrestling angle to win a film award in Vegas

50 Submitted by on Thu, 10 October 2013, 20:00

WWE, 2003

Only in wrestling could a man coming off a “break-up” and a fake gay marriage hook up with a woman still mourning the sex-induced death of her father brought on by her lesbian predator nemesis, only to run afoul of a trailer park-dwelling couple that had recently received a multi-million dollar windfall from a dead uncle’s inheritance.

The story that unfolded from there, though, is one that could easily be found in a genre besides wrestling. Namely, pornography. Yes, the name of this induction might be the “Indecent Proposal Match,” but if this angle were ever made into a movie, it would sooner star Randy West than Robert Redford. Leave it to Smackdown’s writers to seemingly plagiarize the script for the never-produced third installment of “The Young and the Wrestling.”

ipm00

Our story begins with the formation of Billy Gunn and Torrie Wilson as an on-screen couple. Don’t remember those two together? Well, you should, as not only did they have their own action figure set… ipm01
ipm02.0 ipm02.1 …but Billy would later steal Torrie’s wardrobe in TNA.
Billy had recently reverted to his old gimmick of “Mr. Ass,” last seen in 2000 when a loss to Right to Censor forced him to abandon the nickname (personally, I would have rather seen Billy join the RTC under the moniker, “Mr. Nice.” He even could have kept the part of his theme song where it says, “I’m a nice man!”). ipm03
ipm04 While calling himself “Mr. Ass” seemed like the worst decision possible when trying to distance himself from an “ambiguously gay” gimmick, pairing up with Torrie Wilson at least gave him a superficial resemblance to a straight man.
(As I write this, I am of course fully aware of the fact that Monty Sopp the person is heterosexual. Still, the gimmicks he portrayed make that fact nearly impossible to accept deep down. Sort of like how Marc Mero is really Caucasian, no matter what my instincts tell me) ipm05
ipm06  The two formed a sort of mutual admiration society of asses, shaking their merry way to the ring. I have a hard time seeing how this could endear Gunn to the male audience, though, as now every shot of Torrie’s backside was coupled with a shot of Gunn’s.
Perhaps WWE was trying to re-recreate the magic of the Booty Man and the Booty Babe. ipm07
ipm08 One difference between that other butt-minded couple was that the wholesome WCW of 1996 would never allow the on-screen groping that the WWE of 2003 would feature in backstage segments. Smackdown viewers could expect juicy close-ups of a blonde bombshell’s buttocks being fondled.
Of course I’m referring to Billy Gunn, here. ipm09
ipm10  It wasn’t all smooth sailing for Mr. & Ms. Ass, though, as Jamie Noble soon tried to use his new-found fortune to buy a romp with Torrie. Despite the protests of the white trash millionaire’s own girlfriend, Nidia, Noble offered Wilson a huge sum of money for a Thursday night match in the bedroom that night. Naturally, she refused, as prostitution was against everything the WWE Divas stood for.
…Most of the Divas, anyway. By the way, notice how classy I am for not bringing up those rumors about Ashley Massaro? ipm11.0 ipm11.1
Week after week, Jamie Noble offered more and more money for a night with Torrie, and Torrie refused each time. It was like Razor Ramon trying to bribe the 1-2-3 Kid back into the ring each week on Raw, except with more obvious sexual overtones.
123-kid-pin

*Slightly* more obvious.

ipm12 “How many times does Torrie Wilson have to say, ‘No, no, no, no no’ to Jamie Noble?” asked Michael Cole. Tazz responded, “Sometimes ‘no’ means, ‘yes’,” no doubt mortifying all the Brown University professors who helped him get that bachelor’s degree in gender & women’s studies.
I don’t think Torrie has any interest in this guy Noble,” deduced Cole. ipm13
 ipm14 Finally, the Smackdown before the Vengeance pay-per-view, Torrie Wilson made this offer: if Jamie Noble could beat Billy Gunn that Sunday, she would sleep with him. Noble quickly agreed. Care to guess what the stipulation was if Jamie Noble were to lose? The choices are: 

  • A. Noble would have to leave WWE.
  • B. Torrie Wilson would get the 100 grand Noble wanted to pay her for sex.
  • C. Billy Gunn would get to sleep with Noble’s girlfriend, Nidia.
Trick question! The correct answer is D, “None.” Not “None of the Above,” but “None,” period. As if it weren’t stupid enough to bet her self-respect and sexual autonomy on Billy Gunn, Torrie Wilson volunteered herself into a situation where the best possible outcome was simply, “not being forced to have sex with Jamie Noble,” which she didn’t need a wrestling match to achieve. ipm15 
ipm16 The match was dubbed the “Indecent Proposal Match,” after the film, putting Jamie Noble in the role of Robert Redford, Torrie Wilson in the role of Demi Moore, and Billy Gunn in the role of Woody Harrelson. By the way, Redford’s nude body double in that movie? Who else but The Young and the Wrestling‘s Wildman himself, Randy West! (I only know that because of Blade Braxton’s interview, I swear)
That Sunday, Jamie came to the match with a “love case” full of what he euphemistically described as “sex oils” and “sex toys.” That’s actually pretty blunt, but I still say, “euphemistically” because I doubt Noble would have known what that word meant, anyway. ipm17
ipm18 Nidia was “inconspicuous by her absence,” according to Cole, who managed to notice despite her absence being so inconspicuous. However, the jealous Diva appeared later on to try to cost her own boyfriend the match.
Despite all the adversity, Jamie rolled up Gunn for the 1-2-3, leaving Torrie Wilson feeling awful silly for having sold herself into sexual slavery. What a hoot! ipm19
ipm20  Now, if this were straightforward prostitution, and Torrie had accepted money upfront for her services, she could have just broken off the deal and returned the money. But since she had foolishly and over-confidently agreed to the deal as a stipulation to a match that had now taken place, there was no way she could back out, even though she had no desire to sleep with Noble. It’s sort of like when a wrestler makes the offhand comment that he could beat his opponent with one hand tied behind his back, only for the General Manager to take the boast literally and force him into an unfair wrestling match. Now just replace, “an unfair wrestling match” with “rape” and you’ve got the gist of how knee-slappingly hilarious this all was.
Now, I suppose Torrie could have still refused, breaking her contract from Vengeance. That probably would have led to her firing from the company, which, come to think of it, would have then led to a sexual harassment lawsuit so clear-cut and lucrative it would make Sable’s award look like a bag of Sean Waltman’s feces. ipm21 
ipm22 That said, although presumably Noble would have been well within his rights to force himself upon Torrie (wrestling contracts taking precedence over any American legal code), he did his best to win her over to his side.
And that’s when things got porntastic. That Thursday night, Noble apparently invited the Smackdown camera crew to capture his hotel-room escapades. ipm23
ipm24 Jamie’s seductive techniques included showing off his collection of sexual accessories to get her excited. Torrie was not feeling it, so to speak, and rushed to the bathroom to puke. Boy, this angle has everything!
Noble would act far more gentlemanly when courting Michelle McCool, the girlfriend of Chuck Palumbo (himself the “ex-boyfriend” of Billy Gunn, the boyfriend of Torrie Wilson). ipm25
ipm26 Just before Noble could get down to business, he heard a knock on the door, which he mistook for room service. And he had no way to pay the bill! Unless…
No, when he swung the door open without bothering to look through the peephole, on the other side was none other than Nidia. She didn’t want her man fooling around with another woman, so she came to distract him… ipm27
ipm28 …with sex!
A tasteful camera pan prevented the audience from seeing the action firsthand, but Torrie still helped herself to an eyeful. ipm29
ipm30 When we next saw our happy couple, or, uh, triple, Jamie and Nidia were in towels while Torrie was trying to drink herself silly. Noble suggested a triple threat match of sorts as Torrie kept hitting the bottle.
Before fans could witness WWE’s #2 least-likely-to-be-rebroadcast three-way (#1 being the Wrestlemania XX main event), there was another knock at the door. Could it be a pizza man? A plumber? ipm31
ipm32 Actually, it was Billy Gunn, as Jamie Noble found out after opening the door sight unseen, yet again. And he was uuuuuuupset!
Now, in wrestling, the predictable ending for this kind of segment would be for Gunn to clean house, beating up Noble and rescuing his girl from harm. That’s certainly the ending I remembered when I decided to revisit this story line. But that didn’t happen.
ipm33
ipm34 See, this wasn’t your stereotypical wrestling segment, but a stereotypical porno segment, so instead, Jamie and Nidia started having sex right then and there with two other people looking on.
What possible turn of events could wrap this story up? Well, if you’ve watched a lot of adult films… then you should be ashamed of yourself. Pervert. ipm35
ipm36

Talk about fatal four-ways!

But to answer my own question, both couples ended up in bed together. Naked. For sex!
And that, readers, is how two heels and two faces became the breast of friends. ipm38

 

I don’t know who exactly was responsible for these scenes, but my guess would be the same porno director who later worked on See No Evil.

220px-See_no_evil

Written by

A wrestling fan ever since the days of Wrestlemania IX, Art graduated from college in the same building where Art Donovan called King of the Ring 1994. He currently runs the "How Much Does This Guy Weigh?" blog, where he reviews New Generation-Era Monday Night Raws and Hasbro WWF figures.
50 Responses to "Induction: The Indecent Proposal Match: The only wrestling angle to win a film award in Vegas"
  1. Raven7309 says:

    Seeing Jamie Noble wearing the pair of jorts during the Vengeance match made me miss his “Dukes of Hazard” tights. Orange, with the rebel flag on the back and “01″ on the front.

  2. RD Reynolds says:

    Yet another brilliant induction! Loved Nidia-Noble, I knew so many couples just like them growing up in rural Indiana. :)

    • Jordan Mishkin says:

      Now all I can think of is Tajiri going around spraying green mist into the faces of unsuspecting rural Hoosiers.

  3. cavalier says:

    I am so glad I missed the Attitude Era.

    • Down With OPC says:

      This was really the “Ruthless Aggression” era, but I call crap like this “Attitude Leftovers”.

    • Trevon Burtch says:

      A.) This isnt the attitude era

      B.) Yes, some of the attitude era had this, but for every moment that was shit like this there was at least ten that made me happy to be a wrestling fan, now its reversed.

      • Rocko says:

        You are so incredibly wrong. In fact the AE had ten of these damn storylines in 1999 alone.

        The AE was really not that good. 97/00 were great. 98/99/01 sucked to put it nicely.

  4. Down With OPC says:

    Great induction, man!

    BEWP BEWP

  5. s1mon86 says:

    Is it wrong that the part I laughed at the most was the comment about WMXX’s main event?

  6. Mike W says:

    Noble would act far more gentlemanly when courting Michelle McCool, the girlfriend of Chuck Palumbo (himself the “ex-boyfriend” of Billy Gunn, the boyfriend of Torrie Wilson).who herself was in a relationship with Tajiri at some point,who was a partner of Jamie Noble in the early days of the Cruiserweight division.

    And that my friends is how you play Six degrees of separation for professional wrestling.

  7. TMS says:

    Man, I do not remember this angle at all. It must have been so bad that my mind blocked it out. Now, after reading about it, I’m glad I don’t remember it.

    • "The Big Cheese" Paul Kraft says:

      My thoughts exactly! I don’t remember this either…

      • Eric Hinkle says:

        I’d forgotten it myself until this reminded me. Time to scoop out another chunk of brain.

        By the way, what ‘rumors about Ashley Massaro’? Or does it come under the heading of ‘You don’t want to know’?

  8. Brian Henke says:

    When are you going to induct the No Limit Soldiers?

  9. Time Lord Soundwave says:

    No joke, I had that action figure set. In fact, I probably still have them around here somewhere.

  10. Anonymous says:

    Has the Booty Man been inducted?

    (And where can I read up on these supposed rumors about Ashley Massaro?)

  11. THE Jeffry Mason says:

    Wish I could afford to take my girl out to eat at one of those fancy eating places. Like Applebee’s for example.

  12. Huw Roma says:

    I really haven’t been feeling the last three inductions for whatever reason. The magic of the classic R.D. Reynolds era is sorely missed.

  13. Falcone says:

    Didn’t Noble and Gunn become a tag team for a while following that 4 way? That’s probably not as dirty as I made it sound…

  14. Guy Incognito says:

    I have leopard-print bedsheets just like those…

  15. Rose Harmon says:

    I didn’t realize how many storylines have existed that were rapey and gross. I liked Jamie Noble and Nidia, too. Any time wrestlers play a flamboyant character to the hilt, it wins me over.

  16. RingOtaku says:

    Some of Art’s inductions have been a bit less than fun to read but I generally try not to compare it to RD too much. It’s like when Triple Kelly was doing so many inductions. Different styles. This one actually did feel closer to classic Wrestlecrap style than some Art has done.

    I don’t recall this angle either but honestly it wouldn’t surprise me. Nidia’s on-screen character was the kinkiest, horniest diva next to Mae Young. Now that would have made a wrestler/manager team.

    • "The Big Cheese" Paul Kraft says:

      I wouldn’t expect Art to try and emulate R.D. That would be kind of lame. It’s Apples and Oranges. :)

      • Chris says:

        Agreed. I laugh at Art’s inductions just like I would laugh at a funny story my friends would tell. Whereas, I laugh at RD’s inductions just like I would laugh at a funny story my Uncle would tell. Both are funny, just different styles.

  17. Cpt. SuckerPunch says:

    oh my god, the wrestlemania XX comment was too damn hilarious…

    • Lee says:

      Really, though, it was obvious what he was referring to just by saying “the number two triple-threat unlikely to be rebroadcast.” That made me laugh. Then I read on and actually felt a bit insulted that he felt it necessary to explain what should have gone without explanation. As a slight aside, Benoit was in some other big triple-threat matches in his career like with Jericho and Angle at WM 2000 and Jericho and Austin at KOTR 2001, as well as the rematch with Triple H and Michaels at Backlash.

      Good induction so this is being hypercritical, but I just didn’t find the joke as funny as everyone else.

  18. Doc 902714 says:

    Did Jamie Noble ever watch Three’s Company? You’re supposed to peer through the peek hole before you let someone in…a la Mr. Roper. Guess Not.

  19. Escape says:

    Art’s inductions have been awesome – look forward to them every week! I love how unpredictable and all over the map the inductions have been over the past several months – a true surprise every week! So much great Wrestlecrap still waiting to be inducted.

    • "The Big Cheese" Paul Kraft says:

      Yeah, Art finds some really interesting obscure stuff (like this one!) that I never saw before.

      • THE Jeffry Mason says:

        Holy crap! Speaking of obscure Wrestlecrap, why has the DDT Heavymetalweight Championship been inducted? I know, usually no foreign inductions, but I just discovered this treasure on youtube and wikipedia. During its lineage, there have been over 900 champions, including THREE different LADDERS, an invisible man, a baseball bat, a dog, a monkey, and two blowup dolls, amongst others. Please consider an induction for this, kr at least an It Came from Youtube. You may also want to check out the American version of the deadly Bread Eating Deathmatch as well.

        • Lee says:

          I reckon it’s just too obscure and, more importantly, there’s actually too much to look at if there’s 900 champions. You could talk about the ladders (and wasn’t one of them a dog?) but how much can you say? Once you’ve seen one ladder win a world title you’ve seen them all. The DDP title is clearly just a joke championship anyway so it’s not like there was any foundation to damage anything.

          • Billy says:

            From what I recall, more than 100 “matches” were held (offscreen) between two people in the same stable who repeatedly played games of Rock Paper Scissors. The purpose was to make their leader the 666th champion, but I think the belt was in the 400s when they came up with that idea. Their leader was a little girl who used a chokeslam as a finisher, btw.

            Basically, that belt was what you’d get if you took the Crash Holly 24/7 era of the Hardcore belt and went completely off the rails with it.

            I wouldn’t call it wrestlecrap though, it is mostly just lighthearted fun. And while the ladder was pretty blatant in no-selling, the wrestlers treated it like a real opponent, and actually bothered to do stuff like set up their own defeats.

  20. chris hollywood says:

    I laughed my ass off at the WMXX comment.

  21. Craig says:

    My friend Anthony has wisely proclaimed that Billy & Chuck is Monty Sopp’s straightest gimmick ever. Being reminded of this angle, I still see no reason to disagree with that opinion.

  22. Caveman says:

    “I don’t know who exactly was responsible for these scenes, but my guess would be the same porno director who later worked on See No Evil.”

    Perhaps it was Marlena. Or maybe Sean Morley. Or both?

leave a comment