INDUCTION: Stone Age SmackDown – Yabba Dabba Do (Not Watch This, It Sucks)

86 Submitted by on Thu, 23 April 2015, 19:00

sas00Direct to DVD Release, 2015

Not gonna lie to any of y’all: I was never the biggest Flintstones fan in the world.  I mean, yeah, I’ve probably seen most of the episodes of the original series, but that’s more due to the fact that I am so dang old that when I came home from grade school, I had quite literally (and I do mean literally in the literal sense of the word for once) four channels on the television to choose from to provide my afternoon entertainment.  So while I may not have liked the show, I did watch it.

Of course, there was also the tie-in at my local amusement park, Kings Island, where Hanna Barbara characters ran amok.

9317163984_70dc769181Yabba Dabba Who?”

Or characters that somewhat vaguely looked kinda sorta like Fred Flintstone ran amok.  It was the 70s, so you got stuff like that.  As bad as that looks, it was a still markedly better than the horrific Skeletor that Blade ran into wherever he rode coasters as a kid.  And it’s light years ahead of the terrifying original Disneyland characters that would give Freddy Kreuger nightmares.

17ncfoothak9mjpg“Oh boy!  Who’s Ready to Cry?”

~shivers~

Back to my original point, when it was announced that there would be a WWE-Flintstones cross-over cartoon release, I didn’t pay it much attention.  I’d heard the WWE-Scooby Doo one was ok, so I figured if that wasn’t an utter disaster, this one probably would be alright too.

Imagine my shock when I started getting request after request to induct it.  And by “request after request”, I should clarify that exactly two people on planet earth emailed me and asked nicely for me to do it.

What can I say, I am eager to please.

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The show starts with Fred asleep in his bed, thinking of how nice his upcoming vacation to Rockapulco will be for not only himself but his family as well.  Just one problem: Fred needs to ask his boss for an advance on his paycheck to cover the expenses for the trip.

Actually, there’s a second problem as well in that this Fred sounds NOTHING like the one I remember, but again, it’s been like 35 years so I could be mistaken.  And if it’s taken me 35 years to hear another Fred, you can probably surmise I ain’t spending time going back to research it.

Anyway, as Fred thinks about how easy this is going to be, he suddenly realizes he has overslept and is already late for work!  Well, that would be a problem.  So he rushes out of the house and hops in the car, hightailing it to the quarry.

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Should note he’s not THAT concerned, as he doesn’t pass up stopping at at the local coffee shop (Stonebucks) to get a cup of Joe.  In the process, he not only makes himself even later for work, but also cuts in front of CM Punk and Mark Henry, both of whom are none too pleased.

And yes, that is Mark Henry.

This may make for a long write up.

sas04Meanwhile at the quarry, Mr. Slate is talking to his newest employee, who happens to be his sister’s husband’s nephew once removed, John Cenastone.

Really, that’s the best they could come up with for WWE’s biggest star: John CenaSTONE.

Did I say this “may” be a long write up?  Pretty sure that just confirmed it.

Out on the interstate, Fred is stuck in a traffic jam.  He changes lanes in a bit stolen blatantly from the very awesome Office Space, which gives me a glimmer of hope.  I mean, if say, Rey Mysterio does a giant splash into a copying machine giving him fits, this might just be the greatest cartoon of all time.

sas07So Fred finally gets to the quarry, and promptly proceeds to ram Mr. Slate’s head into the ground with a dinosaur because, well, he’s a moron and doesn’t know how to do his job properly.  Fred that is, not Mr. Slate.  This causes a chain reaction wherein another dinosaur falls from the sky…

cenastone

…which is caught by John Cena.

Excuse me, John CenaSTONE.

Wait a minute…didn’t I see that last weekend on a preview when I was at the movies (at the Skyline Drive In, complete with the awesome SkyCade featuring my personal WWF Royal Rumble pinball machine and the GameTrolla)?

cenastone2

Maybe he is Superman Cena after all.

Anyway, since Fred is an idiot who nearly killed him in addition to being late for work, Mr. Slate is disinclined to acquiesce to Fred’s request.

(Means “no”.)

Broken, Fred realizes he just needs to go home and tell Wilma the truth.

But he can’t when she shows him her new rockin’ bikini!

Staring at bare cartoon midriff just feels nasty to me.  And not in a good kinda nasty way.

So yeah, Fred has to come up with a new plan to fund his family vacation.

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Fast forward to the Water Buffalo Charity Carnival, where the kids take dinosaur rides while they bash them repeatedly on the head with a club.  I’d say how appalled I am at this display of wanton violence, but honestly I’ve seen brats act way worse than this on pony rides in real life while their parents texted away on their cell phones at the local county fair so who am I to judge.

And just as I was about to write, “are any other wrestlers besides John CenaSTONE in this?” we get a kissing booth featuring…

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Nikki and Brie Boulders!

I know I mocked the Flintstonification of Cena’s name earlier, but…

nikkibrie

…I don’t think it is humanly possible to come up with something better than Nikki BOULDERS.

Unless it was Brie Flatrock.

Thank you, thank you, I’ll be here all week, enjoy the veal.

sas11

Aside from the kissing booth, there is also the good ol’ fashioned boxing match with a kangaroo dinosaur.  So CM Punkrock and Marble Henry decide to try to win a prize by going a couple rounds with him.  Thankfully for his fledgling UFC career, I am pleased to announce Punkrock takes the beast down over and over.

Despite this being part of the contest, Barney gets really upset and jumps off the top rope, KO’ing Punk Rock in the process.  This blatant act of poor sportsmanship is cheered by the crowd, drawing the interest of Mr. McMagma (Vince) who explains to Fred that he could make “alotta clams with a spectacle like that!”

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We get the obligatory $ in eyeballs, with Fred deciding that he should in fact run a full fledged fight night, this time for the worthwhile charity of F., W., and P. Flintstone.

But he is baffled at one aspect of his plan: where to find guys willing to fight each other for no money for him?

Yeah, I don’t know either, dude.

Actually, I do – we’ll just enlist the help of John Cenastone’s friends!

Friends like Rey Mysteriopal!

Hey, what do you know?  Rey DID show up to splash a bothersome copier, just like I said!  Who’d a thunk it?

And who’d a thunk this cartoon would still suck?

THIS GUY!

Oh!  And another guy we get is The Undertaker.

Really, that’s his name on here.  Just plain old Undertaker.  Just makes me shake my head.

I mean seriously, “Undertroctolite” was right there for the taking!

Sadly, Daniel Bryrock won’t participate.  This despite him saying “Yes Yes!” following a John Cena eye wiggle that is completely and utterly adorable.

No wonder the fans love John Cena so much.

Just look at him!

So Fred books a show, and sure enough, it draws a big crowd, thus once and for all proving the theorum no matter if it’s in the present day, 5 million years in the future, or back in the stone age, people will always pay to see two dudes punching each other in the face.

Just one problem:

sas18

The guys are just hanging out backstage doing nothing!  Cenastone is asleep, Rey is goofing around on his cell phone (err, excuse me, SHELLphone), and Undertaker is playing video games.  And here I thought the WWE company line about how guys didn’t go out boozing anymore  after shows, they just play video games in the hotel was total BS.  There’s our proof positive that it’s true!

Finally, Fred is able to convince the guys that despite being friends, they need to ACT like they are beating each other up.  You know, PLAY FIGHT.  Yes, Fred Flintstone is now a carnie.  Sure enough, Fred gets Rey and John head out to give the crowd a show.

And what a show it is.

A bouncing boobie show!

In retrospect, roided out cartoon Rey Monkey Jr. kinda puts that freaky looking Minnie Mouse above to shame.

Who knew a WWE-Flintstones cartoon would provide so much nightmare fuel?

The action hits its zenith as Cena does a spinning piledriver that has  Zangief nodding his head in appreciation (and probably asking why Guile never sold as well as Rey Mysteriopal did).  Delighted that they have done a good job, Rey and John shake hands and head out of the arena.

WHICH MAKES THE MARKS ANGRY!

Paranoid at the thought of offering refunds to the increasingly hostile crowd, Fred grabs Barney and throws him in the ring with The Undertaker…

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…and you can imagine how that ends.

Still, the crowd is delighted and Fred has made enough money to take his family on vacation.  But looking at all those clams, Fred gets greedy and decides to follow up his success with yet another show.

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Why he’s like one of those ECW Reunion Show promoters who don’t realize that they’re only going to get a decent crowd the first time!

Hearing his plan to go back for more, Barney explains to Fred that he in no way wants to get back in the ring.  Unfortunately, Fred ignores his best friend’s advice and books the show anyway.  But this time there’s trouble…

sas24…as CM Punkrock, Marble Henry, and the Boulder Twins try to hijack the show!

With Barney nowhere to be found, Fred realizes what he has to do.

sas25

Rip of his clothes and PLAY FIGHT himself!

sas26Sadly this doesn’t go well for Fred, as Punkrock rolls him up into a ball.

To be fair, Fred shouldn’t complain.  I remember Daniel Bryan doing that to himself on Saturday Morning Slam years ago, and poor Tyson Kidd was unable to pin him.

Oh how I miss that show.

Anyway, Barney shows up and saves the day by beating the tar out of Punkrock and everyone cheers.

sas27Fred then realizes that friendship is more important than anything money can buy, and tells Mr. McMagma that he can take the idea of phony fights and run with it.

He even gets to drop the term SPORTS ENTERTAINMENT!!!!

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Of course, the real comedy in that particular sound clip is Vince popping for a first class trip for Fred & all his friends.  This from the same guy who classifies his workers as “independent contractors” so he can avoid doing such things.

sas29The show ends as I believe every Hanna Barbara cartoon does, with the characters laughing on a beach.

So yeah, this thing kinda sucked…but at least we got Undertaker wearing a giant sombrero.

Yabba Dabba Do (Not Make a Sequel)!!!

 

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86 Responses to "INDUCTION: Stone Age SmackDown – Yabba Dabba Do (Not Watch This, It Sucks)"
  1. "The Big Cheese" Paul Kraft says:

    The Flinstones (the original 60’s TV series) is one of my favorite cartoons of all time. This thing just makes me shake my head and sigh.

  2. WrestleTrekker says:

    Thank you for not doing the Scooby Doo Crossover! I actually rather liked that one.

  3. C. Peter Roberts says:

    No Man Mountain Rock for this one? Not even a reference to Stone Cold or The Rock?

    I admire your discipline for the former, and shake my head at the folks who made this film possible for the latter.

  4. Chris v says:

    They even buried C M Punk in this cartoon!

  5. George says:

    Wilma was looking mighty fine in that bikini.

  6. 80's Guy says:

    In all honesty, I like Brie’s smaller, natural…. assets. I would take those home for the weekend over Nickki’s inserts.

    (However, her current physique almost makes me question that decision given how tight her posterior, as well as the rest of her body, is looking these days. Yeowch. Yeah, just go ahead and sign me up for the bed one get one free deal….)

  7. Erich says:

    Not only are the Flintstone voices disconcertingly wrong, but so are the character designs.

    You know how when other cartoons do parodies of the Flinstones, how the characters look like the ones we know, but are different enough to avoid copyright infringement? That’s what the Flintstones look like in this.

    • James says:

      It looks like one of those John K. Hanna-Barbera shorts that Cartoon Network used to run, that it tries to be uber retro, but you can tell something’s up.

      It can’t be as a bad as the upcoming Be Cool Scooby-Doo, in which the characters really do look like Family Guy versions or something.

  8. Mr. Glen says:

    Pop of the night for Deal, of all people, for name dropping Ghetto Skeletor. All this after he threatened send us all a virus when Blade told us his story about the ghetto amusement park.

  9. Sir Thomas says:

    Gazoo is officially the SECOND worst thing to happen to The Flinstones.

  10. Jim says:

    Brie Flatrock was my second favorite line to, obviously, the Pirates of the Caribbean reference (though Fred asking for parley was right there!)

    Other than not including a picture of the Bellas in their Flinstone costumes saying Yabba Dabba Doo, just a great induction.

  11. Cpt SuckerPunch says:

    john cena-ment, as in cement… literally took me 2 secs to come up with, what the hell wwe?…

    • PaulS says:

      I was thinking “John Cenazoic” would have been the obvious one.

      • Cemley says:

        How about Stone Cena or John Stona? Any of these suggestions took more effort than just adding the word ‘stone’ to his existing name. However, the original series did this as well so it’s not really WWE’s fault.

    • Ze Frenchie says:

      How about Fruity Pebble? It would have been so fitting.

  12. Jay "The Brain" Mann says:

    Is it bad that The Weird Al Show’s parody of The Flintstones was more accurate looking and sounding than this official movie?

    Also, I got this for my birthday. Now I’ve got confidence. 😛

  13. Sean Bateman says:

    Let’s all hope that the Kiss-Scooby Doo crossover a whole lot better

  14. PaulS says:

    I think the biggest problem with this film (other than the original voice actors no longer being with us) is they basically took an amusing concept for a 30 minute Flintstone episode and tried to stretch it out to movie length.

    Anyway Dave Alvarez who worked on the character designs for this is a supertalented guy and you can find more of his work here.

    http://davealvarez.deviantart.com/gallery/

    • J says:

      Ya but there are plenty of people who can do Fred and Barney voice it’s like they pick to random dudes to do em

      • James says:

        Well at least in the likes of Jeff Bergman and Tress MacNeille they had professionals, and just didn’t do what everyone does and hire celebrities.

  15. Mister Forth says:

    Too bad this one didn’t have Br-Rock Lesnar fist-fighting a T-Rex

  16. John C says:

    What no rival evil promotion tried to start up and steal the business from the honest Mr. McMagma. Eric Bishrock could have a of stable of Cro-Magnum T.A., The Four Brontosaurausmen, and The Rock and Rock Express trying to put the wholesome family friendly McMagma brand of entertainment into extinction.

  17. Downtown OPC says:

    Anyone remember the Flintstones Kids?

  18. Rob P. says:

    I watched this entire with friends until the end and the only thing that made me laugh was seeing Undertaker in a sombrero. That made me laugh my ass off, just for the sheer concept of that image. Still it was not enough to make up for the rest of the movie.

  19. Phil Brooks says:

    “The Boulder Twins”? Well, hell of a lot better looking than Hogan & Beefcake at least…

    Actually that reminds me: No “Bulk Boulder”, eh brother? 😉

  20. Cemley says:

    The FIintstones sucked anyway, totally overrated show that only has a legacy because it was the first animated series to gain prime time popularity. Looked at objectively it really isn’t very good, just a family sitcom set in the stone age which was later done better by Dinosaurs anyway. And the puns and wordplay jokes were just as lazy back then as in this special. There were a few funny set-ups mostly involving the animals used as tools, but other than that it was garbage. It was also insultingly anachronistic given the celebrity involvement AND, worst of all, a Christmas special despite taking place thousands of years before Christ was even born.

  21. James says:

    Was Brodus Clay released by then? Another no brainer (even the Funkadactyls would work!)

  22. James says:

    Rey Mysterio killed the Stone Age by dropkicking an asteroid in the back of its head before the 619-billion B.C.

  23. Thun says:

    Let’s see. You mix a cartoon that was never really good or funny at any point and sports entertainment. Result is a cartoon that’s not really good or funny.

    10/10 Math-wise, at least.

  24. TV's Mr. Neil says:

    WWE and Hanna-Barbara present…

    Another crappy WWE product in which nobody ever says “wresting” or “wrestler”. But you’ll hear “sports entertainment” a whole lot!

  25. Eric Hinkle says:

    Ugh, the animation alone looks ghastly. And given all the WWE/classic animated shows crossovers we’ve been getting lately. how long before we see My Little Pony meets the WWE?

    Don’t laugh, if there’s money in it you KNOW Vinny Mac is considering it!

    • Jackwagon says:

      Better yet, WWE meets Transformers, with the long-awaited battle of annoying kid-appeal characters… Bumblebee vs. Hornswoggle: Whoever loses, we win.

      • James says:

        Hey! I liked Bumblebee! No matter who else I bought and lost or broke, I always had to have one G1 Bee in my house when I was a kid. And then the G2 version, and later the keychain and the one with the cartoon-accurate face.

        Now if you want to really instill nightmares, team Hornswoggle (BTW, was Leprechaun: Origins inducted yet?) with WHEELIE. Or the Armada humans.

      • Ze Frenchie says:

        Yes, with both Ironhide and JBL on commentary, trying to outdo each other with dated references that no-one under the age of 75 will understand.

        • James says:

          (Optimus over the headset) : Ironhide, you must plug the Cybertron Network and mention that it costs 9.99 Energon cubes

          IRONHIDE: But PRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIME!

  26. RD Reynolds says:

    Every joke in these comments better than any on the actual show

  27. AK says:

    I’m surprised Mr. McMagma didn’t get anyone to join the kiss my asphalt club..

    Then again they probably didn’t have asphalt back in the Flintstones time so I guess they can save that joke for the inevitable WWE-Looney Tunes Crossover.

  28. James says:

    Why wasn’t Mick Foley in this? If for no other reason than he could ask Fred why he keeps buying the ribs when he knows they’ll tip his car over? (Let’s see who remembers this reference…)

  29. Geoff says:

    The ribs tipped Fred’s car over. I don’t remember any ribs tipping Mick’s car over. But then I didn’t watch a lot of Mick’s entrance videos, maybe there was a segment in there where ribs were tipping Mick’s car over. Maybe that was what initiated the car crash entrance in the first place.

  30. Geoff says:

    Carebears vs. WWE. Now there is a concept that even Vince McMagma won’t touch. Maybe even a triple threat match with Rainbow Bright

  31. Ze Frenchie says:

    Was I the only one who thought that both CM Punk and Mark Henry’s attire looked a lot like Chris Benoit’s tights?

  32. Al says:

    You know there’s gonna be a Jetsons/WWE crossover. It’s just inevitable.
    Looking forward to SPACE Cena, and SPACE Mcmahon.

  33. Jack says:

    If you think that’s bad, just wait for the Jetsons crossover.

  34. Mickey says:

    Adults bashing a movie intended for kids. That makes perfect sense.

    I’ve not seen the movie, which runs about 45 minutes I think, and some of the Flinstone-ized names are good. With the exception of Cenastone. And maybe they could have tried to come up with a name for Undertaker.

    I also see nothing wrong with how the main Flintstones characters are designed. They look accurate to me. As for the voices — people are complaining over them? Really?? Two people portrayed Barney’s voice in the original series (Mel Blanc, the original, had to leave the show briefly after a car accident) — the voices were VERY different. You CAN’T expect the voices to be exact (Barney Rubble has been voiced by 7 actors, including a Robot Chicken portrayal. Fred Flintstone has been portrayed by 5 actors. Wilma by 5 actors, and Betty by 7 voice actors.)

    I can see the combo of WWE and The Flintstones being inducted because of the odd combination, but the nitpicking of just about everything (including things that should be nitpicked) is a bit much. lol

  35. "The Big Cheese" Paul Kraft says:

    Yabba-Crappa-Doo!

  36. Buzz Line says:

    The best thing about this is that animation lead time as further justified CM Punk’s royalties check.

    #WatchROH.

  37. Buzz Line says:

    *has further. I made a typo.

  38. Deepthroat Ghoul says:

    Hey RD, there are three things you didn’t mention:

    1.The two times CM Punk was sent flying into the seafood cart is kind of a homage to the Back to the Future trilogy when Biff crashes his car twice into a truck full of manure, and his great-grandad Mad Dog is knocked silly by Marty into a cart full of horse apples.

    2.During the scene where Fred was sorts out the wrestlers’ costumes, Undertaker ends up wearing pink underwear and then shows his hungry bum to Fred and Barney, who both cringe.

    3.There was a rumour that Bill Goldberg was also going to appear in this movie, as prior to the film’s release, IMDB listed his name on the cast and crew page.

    • RD Reynolds says:

      I’ve seen BTTF about 500 times (all three of them), and I would not have picked up on that reference in a gazillion years. Thanks!

      I think. 😉

      • "The Big Cheese" Paul Kraft says:

        Hey, I’m still waiting on my Pepsi Free, boss!

      • Deepthroat Ghoul says:

        You’re welcome, and what did you think of the “Taker wears pink undies and accidentally moons Fred and Barney” scene?

  39. That Lucha Guy says:

    You all should have known from the beginning how ridiculous this was going to be.

  40. Tobie Hannah says:

    Brie Flatrock might be the best thing I’ve read today.

  41. Krendall says:

    What was up with that Rey Mysterio design? Seriously, not even the mask was right. He looked more like Masked Muscle from Super Punch-Out!!

    Funny how easily Daniel Bryan slides into the Flinstones universe.

    Of course Fred sounds different than he used to. This has gotta be the third or fourth actor by this point. Sadly, Fred’s original actor (Alan Reed) died some time ago.

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