INDUCTION: Sid Vicious, Lost in Louisiana – He Has Half the Sense of Direction You Do!

40 Submitted by on Mon, 29 September 2014, 21:00

sgl0a

WCW, 2000

Big news first: the new Death of WCW: 10th Anniversary Edition is NOW AVAILABLE.  Not for pre-order; it’s shipping NOW.  I will also have a few autographed books available to ship directly from WrestleCrap HQ, which will be available sometime in the near future.  So check back if you are interested!

I’ve kinda beat y’all over the head with details on the book, so long story short:

– 40% larger than the original

– New embossed HARDCOVER edition available to go along with the paperback and Kindle versions

– Tons more backstage stories, quotes, etc..

– All new photos

Those are the highlights.  If you liked the original, you will love this one.  If you can’t wait for ones direct from me, well, don’t hesitate to head on over to Amazon by clicking here.

Now…one of my favorite quotes in the book was just an offhand one that we didn’t elaborate on more than stating this:

The December 13 show was also a booking lesson in how to kill off a top contender. They actually did an interview where Sid, the supposed top baby face, was so stupid he couldn’t find the arena.  He kept calling in from his cell phone saying he was lost. “Guys, can you hear me?” he asked in at least three different segments. Clearly, nobody in the company ever learned that the one thing fans will absolutely not support is an idiot babyface. 

What better way to celebrate the launch of the new book than to finally induct this fantastic angle?

Why it’s like I was saving it for such an occasion!

The show (Thunder, what else?) opens with a recap of Sid beating a dude up, yelling at him “GIVE ME THE KEYS!!!!”  This would lead to another craptastic angle in which..what the heck, let’s go back to Nitro so we can cover this one too!

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Sid was fresh off a win over “Above Average” Mike Sanders.  Really, that was his nickname: “Above Average”.  I guess he was more of a B- player.  The match was so taxing that Sid wrestled the entire thing in a polo shirt and jeans, while Sanders worked it in dress slacks.  Have to say, Sid was better dressed for a wrestling show.  Had it been a job interview, I’d have gone with Sanders though.

After the match, Sid gives another fantastically cryptic promo.  Most of the time with these interviews, I had at least some idea of what he was talking about.  This time?  No.  Tony didn’t either, nor did Scott Hudson.  Maybe you will by listening to it here.  Or maybe Stevie Ray could write in and explain it to us.  SUCKAS GOTS TO KNOW.

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Backstage we go, as Sid finds someone…a cop?  Perhaps a security guard, you may be thinking?  Spoiler alert: I believe it’s a valet.  Not like Big Poppa’s freak, Midajah…

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…but rather a dude who parks cars.

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The reason I’ve come to this conclusion is because Sid was screaming about wanting car keys.  And yes, this gets us…

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…Sid driving an SUV!  And…

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…Sid driving a mini-van!

These non-stop thrills lead us to discovering that Steiner has parked the cars in something vaguely resembling a circle.  Why he did this?  No clue.  Regardless, Steiner comes out to fight him.  And that leads to more comedy in the form of Sid’s legendary…

WINDMILL PUNCHES!!!!

To recap: Sid stole a bunch of keys, drove cars into a circle, and then fought Steiner with a Whack-A-Mole style attack in the middle of them.  In hindsight, the failure of WCW to film Sid matching up the keys to each car then strategically driving them into such a position to make an oval may be the cause of their demise.  If we do a 20th Anniversary version of the book, I’ll be sure to make that correction.

This leads us to Thunder for the continuation of this blood feud for the WCW World Title.  Sid is so furious with Steiner and wants him so badly that he isn’t even in the building at the start of the show.

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No worries, though – we’ve got the big guy on the phone, which you can listen to without calling 1-900-909-9900 by clicking here!  He explains to us that he’s on his way, but the traffic is a bit “messed up.”  No worries, though, he’s only 10-15 minutes away.  He also asks Tony to make sure he “keeps things on the shelf” and doesn’t let Steiner leave.  A vignette of Schiavone attempting to block SCOTT STEINER from leaving may have also helped the company survive.  Footage of Tony stocking shelves couldn’t have hurt either.

A half hour goes by in the show, and still no Sid.  Instead, we get a match with Lex Luger against Dwayne Bruce.  Excuse me, SARGE Dwayne Bruce.

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Amazing to think that WCW was going down the tubes presenting thrillers such as this.  And while the thought of a Sarge vs. Lex Luger match may not thrill you, I know what will – another call from Sid!

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Sadly, he has not arrived yet, largely due to the fact that he is lost.  No, really – that’s what the man said (listen to it here).  He also explained that he is going to have to pull over and see if he can find someone to help him get to the arena.

Have to admit, a hero with a lack of any sense of direction is a character I’ve never seen in wrestling.  Or any other form of entertainment ever, come to think of it.  That’s probably because it’s a terrible idea.  Never let it be said that such things ever really stopped WCW from charging headfirst into unchartered territory.

So the show continues…with Sid still driving around, possibly in a circle like my dog when she’s about to take a poop.  In the meantime, we get such classic action as Kronik vs. Vito and Reno, DDP vs. our friend “Above Average.”  If that wasn’t enough to keep viewers Kraggled to their TV sets, we also get Mike Tenay with one of his porn set interviews.  Sadly for Mike, this time he’s got Shane Douglas instead of, say, Stacy Keibler.

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But don’t you worry!  As all this nonstop action is going on, we are treated to, yes…

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another call from Sid!  Nearly two hours into the show, he still hasn’t found his way to the arena.  We learn from this call that it is largely due to someone telling him to take a right at the McDonalds and a left at Wendys!  If he shows up with a Big Mac and a Frosty, this will all be worthwhile.

Sadly, he doesn’t.  Instead, he just shows up and has another crappy brawl with Steiner.

A brawl sadly lacking these.

Believe it or not, this was the final build up to the last Starrcade ever held.  And while it may have led to another pitiful butyrate when the company could ill afford it, it did give us this:

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And that’s something that will never fail to bring a smile to my face.


 

Love these stories of WCW’s ineptitude?  Then pick up the new book!  You can get autographed copies on the site in the near future or you can buy it direct from Amazon by clicking here.

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40 Responses to "INDUCTION: Sid Vicious, Lost in Louisiana – He Has Half the Sense of Direction You Do!"
  1. WrestleTrekker says:

    It’s like Lost in Cleveland. But shittier.

  2. "The Big Cheese" Paul Kraft says:

    How do I have no memory of this?

    Oh yeah, I think I’d stopped watching WCW by this point- that’s how.

  3. Erich says:

    I never gave up on WCW. Watched until the bitter end.

    But good lord, they didn’t make it easy….

  4. Ramon Reyes says:

    Zoro from the japanese cartoon One Piece is a character with no sense of direction. He’s literally a wandering swordsman. Get’s lost crossing the street. Often.

  5. Sean Bateman says:

    Lost In Louisana sound a better movie than WcW’s Ready to Rumble

  6. Brad says:

    I actually liked Mike Sanders. He may not have been a great wrestler but he was a great talker. If he stuck with wrestling he would’ve been a great manager.

  7. Down With OPC says:

    Did Sarge ever take on Above Average?

  8. AK says:

    Ah Sid,

    I remember a fun little exchange I had with him and let me say he left a lasting impression on me.

    It was back in the mid 2000s for an independent show and Sid was still in excellent shape to say the least. He was making is way to the ring and using his “who’s the man?” shtick to get the crowd riled up. I was absolutely taking part in this and I guess I was a little too loud because Sid stopped and asked/yelled at me “who’s the man??!”. I responded that he was indeed the man and still the ruler of the world and the universe (yes I actually said both things, possibly out of fear).

    After this brief exchange he shook his head a little bit and then told me that he thought I was the man. I was pretty shocked so I believe I managed to stammer out an “alright!” and then we did a high five that was so forceful that I thought my wrist was broken. It wasn’t, although it did hurt for a couple of days. My cousin who attended the show with me was pretty floored. Although he got one of Abdullah the Butcher’s forks, so he didn’t go home empty handed.

    In conclusion, Sid is awesome.

    • John Matrix says:

      I always thought that Sid was pretty entertaining.

    • gobias says:

      Dude, that story was awesome.

    • Jerm says:

      Met Sid in Chicago the day before WrestleMania 13. After signing my copy of Full Metal: The Album (which the record store required you to buy to receive an autograph, and since I already owned the CD at home my mom purchased the CASSETTE TAPE) the only thing my star-struck brain was able to muster was a half-hearted, “Beat Undertaker.” A friend of a friend who used to book for UPW in California LOVED that story.

      Also on the same day Owen and Bulldog did a signing at Toys R Us, and the signed glossy of the two of them is one of my favorite things I own.

    • Jay says:

      Epically awesome

  9. Adam Clark says:

    I actually remember this one. Fuck WCW was so bad then but Sid was still pretty over. I can’t say that his nasty leg-break a month later would’ve stopped them from going under but he at least gave those fans something to cheer about in the dying days.

  10. John C says:

    This should have lead to a King of the Road match between Sid & Steiner where the loser was the first guy to stop and ask for directions.

  11. Thineayngel says:

    Does this mean that the book will be released sooner over here in the UK too?? Waiting until November seems even more agonising knowing it’s already out there elsewhere!

  12. John Vairin says:

    This was the only Nitro I ever attended in my hometown of Bossier City, LA. I don’t remember this phone call by Sid though, probably because I remember little from watching the telecast of Nitro.

  13. Jimbolian says:

    Reading this induction immediately reminded me of that stupid angle featuring Goldberg teaming up with his buddy SARGE DeWayne Bruce to take on Buff Bagwell and Lex Lug…errr, I mean, “Total Package” at Starrcade where DeWayne let Bill down and was forced to “retire”. In fact, we never did see Goldberg again until he came to WWE in 2003.

    *hint hint* Next week’s induction *hint hint*

    • Grem says:

      Probably won’t induct Goldberg’s WWE run at the moment since he’s still hyping the book. Maybe Art will do it instead. However, if it hasn’t already been inducted then RD should definitely do the stupid Goldberg heel turn where he refused to go with the planned finish (in kayfabe).

      • Jimbolian says:

        Actually I was referring to the DeWayne/Goldberg pairing for an induction. For no reason whatsoever, Goldberg brought along the Sarge as his buddy around the end of 2000 and Luger/Bagwell challenged them to a match at Sin where Goldberg would be forced to “retire” if they lose. Of course Sarge lets Billy Boy down by doing the job to Totally Buffed and disappeared from TV until he made his way to WWE the night after Wrestlemania XIX.

  14. Premier Blah says:

    Random Fact of the Day: (Mrs.) Midajah is now a makeup artist. No, really.

    http://www.beautybymindie.com/

    To be sure and with no offense intended, she is far more talented as a MUA than she was in the (WCW) ring.

  15. MistaMaddog says:

    That’s what happens when Sid does the Nitro Road Report.

  16. Mister Forth says:

    Was his gimmick that he personified WCW’s destruction of the time.

  17. Doc75 says:

    the audio clip that Sid waz um well doing it originally waz the catchphrase of Downtown Bruno (aka Harvey Wippleman) when they were both in CWA.

  18. JeremyB says:

    Sid employing the always reliable “fat kid at recess” windmill punching strategy.

  19. OneManChainGang says:

    Why would you want to watch footage of Tony Schiavone stocking shelves when you can see it in person at the local Wal-Mart?

  20. Doc 902714 says:

    Sid has a history of not finding arenas. Remember back in 1992 when he was booked to compete at Madison Square Garden against the Ultimate Warrior shortly after WM VIII and he no-showed. Sid was released from his contract shortly thereafter. Or back on RAW in April 1997 when Sid was supposed to wrestle Mankind in the main event later that night and not even Gorilla Monsoon or Vince McMahon knew of his whereabouts. Gorilla Monsoon, in an attempt to save face (and WWF trying to possibly spike ratings) gave the match to Stone Cold Steve Austin, on the condition that Austin proposed that he wrestle Bret Hart at the next PPV, instead in Sid’s absence.

  21. Drew says:

    Sid was going to knife Steiner, but he mistakenly left his scissors with Arn Anderson earlier that day.

  22. Anonymous says:

    Funny stuff. Nice induction.

  23. Unknown says:

    I’d like to see the DDP/Nash segment from Thunder where they talk about Hall (and his name is bleeped out) and eyeball a wandering lamp.

    Next March is the 20th anniversary of the first Uncensored (that one deserves an induction, especially the final match between Hogan and Vader).

  24. Krendall says:

    What really makes the whole thing is that image of Sid during the phone calls. They couldn’t have found a more fitting picture if they tried.

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