Induction: Kane vs. Edge – Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twenty times, shame on me.

27 Submitted by on Thu, 19 June 2014, 20:00

WWE, 2010

Glen Jacobs has spent most of his wrestling career as a guinea pig for the writers’ most idiotic ideas. First, there was his stint in Smoky Mountain Wrestling with a name based on terrorist Ted “Unabomber” Kaczynski (albeit before he was identified and caught… and while he was still blowing people up).

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Then, there were his runs in the WWF as Jerry Lawler’s dentist and as a replacement “Diesel” after Kevin Nash jumped ship.

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And finally, Jacobs hit his stride as Kane, the long-running persona with whom he has won most of the awards on his impressive Wrestling Observer résumé. Of course, that list of accolades looks like this:

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Frankly, for putting up with all this nonsense for nearly twenty years, Jacobs has got to be in the running for WWE employee of the century.*
*“independent contractor of the century” – Jerry McDevitt

Edge, on the other hand, has remained relatively Wrestlecrap-free. I suppose the most questionable stunt he ever had to perform was 2006’s “live sex celebration,” but that was still a million times better than the dead sex celebration that Kane allegedly had in 1992.

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How unfortunate, then, that after declaring war on all things stupid (smashing the Anonymous Raw GM’s laptop after a lengthy argument with the computer),

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one of Edge’s first orders of business on Smackdown was a feud with The Big Red Machine.

On the plus side, Kane had captured World title that summer, ending a twelve-year drought, and then became one of the few people in WWE history to ever decisively win a feud with The Undertaker, re-establishing the Devil’s favorite demon as a believable heel and main-event player after a Decade of Distraction. kve06
kve07 On the minus side, Edge decided to gain a psychological edg— uh, advantage over the monster by kidnapping Paul Bearer.
This served as diversion enough for the Big Show to pick up a win over Kane, which made the World’s Largest Athlete refreshingly giddy, but Edge wasn’t finished with Bearer by a long shot. kve08
kve09 He kept Kane’s manager and father tied up in a wheelchair and gagged with duct tape, letting him speak only occasionally to curse Edge and the audience who laughed at his amusing abduction and torture.
The kidnapping happened in England, by the way, but the next week’s shows were in the U.S. I’m still trying to imagine how Edge managed to smuggle his captive through airport security and customs. Maybe he packed him in an extra-large suitcase and stowed him away in the plane’s luggage hold. kve10
kve13 On the wrestling end of the feud, things started off to a nice stupid start, as their world title match at Survivor Series ended in a double pin, with Edge neglecting to take his own shoulders off the mat after spearing Kane. Details, details.
But who doesn’t love a good tie in wrestling? kve99
kve14 Edge channeled his anger at failing to win the title into something productive, like loading Kane onto Bearer’s wheelchair and rolling him through a ringside barrier.
The fan-favorite international criminal continued having fun at Kane and Bearer’s expense, torturing Paul every week and tricking Kane into thinking he had killed his father. kve15
kve16 Edge and Paul’s itinerary of fun activities included dodgeball…
…food-dumping… kve17
kve17.5 …and chair shots.
Just in case you felt sympathy for Kane, Edge reminded fans why kidnapping his father was justified, pointing out that Kane had done evil things in the past. kve18
kve19 This was transparently absurd, as it was Paul Bearer who was suffering the most, not Kane, and Edge didn’t accuse Paul of doing anything wrong. Did Paul Bearer ever rape Lita?
Did Paul Bearer ever hook up a car battery to Shane McMahon’s testicles? kve20
kve21 Did Paul Bearer ever bury The Undertaker alive? No, it wasn’t Paul Bearer who did all those things, but Kane. Paul only did one of those three things.
(twice) kve22
kve23 After a while, Edge got bored and decided to let Kane come and take his father back
…only for it to end up being a ruse every single time. kve24
kve25 There was the flat-bed truck incident…
…then the impostor Paul trick… kve26
kve27 …as well as the times he pretended to Zach-Gowen Paul down a flight of stairs…
…crush him… kve28
kve29 …and run him over.
All the while, fans at home were surely wondering whether Edge was using the same spare wheelchair and dummy every week, or if he had a stockpile of them that he took on the road with him. kve30
kve31 Once, Edge threw a Paul Bearer dummy off a balcony.
That last stunt ended up being a Funny Aneurysm Moment, as after a month of captivity, Paul would at last meet his demise by falling from a great height. For once, Kane didn’t buy that Edge had the real Paul Bearer in any danger, but as “The Boy Who Cried Wolf” taught us, always believe the shepherd boy no matter how many times he tells the same lie.
kve32kve32.1
kve33 One push later, and Kane’s daddy plummeted several stories (off camera, of course).
I told you,” shrugged Edge, capping off the most terrible prank since every single one from Punk’d. kve34
kve35 (This being wrestling, though, the fall off a balcony wasn’t fatal, as Bearer reappeared a little over a year later to be stuffed in a freezer by Randy Orton.)
Finally, Edge beat Kane in a four-way ladder match to “gain custody” of the coveted World title, as the best way to settle this patricide storyline was to have Edge climb a ladder faster than Kane and two other guys. kve36
kve37 Even WWE had to acknowledge how silly this entire feud was, especially given that it was over the World title and made a complete fool of a character who two months prior had not only utterly dominated The Undertaker, but ostensibly murdered him.
All it took was for Kane to get duped over a dozen times in a month to halt all the momentum he had gained since the summer, forcing WWE to put the mask back on him if they ever wanted him to be an effective heel… kve38
kvr21 …which, as you may have noticed, has not worked out too terribly well, either.

Edge closed the feud by airing footage of the angle’s “highlights”, sped up, to the tune of “Yakety Sax.”

Still, this light-hearted spin on the past month’s events couldn’t change the fact that Kane had basically killed his father, and that for the rest of his life, he would have to grapple with the man in the mirror.

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Oh, sorry, wrong angle.

Written by

A wrestling fan ever since the days of Wrestlemania IX, Art graduated from college in the same building where Art Donovan called King of the Ring 1994. He currently runs the "How Much Does This Guy Weigh?" blog, where he reviews New Generation-Era Monday Night Raws and Hasbro WWF figures. Email at: art@wrestlecrap.com
27 Responses to "Induction: Kane vs. Edge – Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twenty times, shame on me."
  1. Alexandru says:

    I can’t decide whose been given the most crap to work with Kane or Sting, they’ve both had to deal with the dumbest/most asinine story lines ever

    • John C says:

      Maybe that will be the Wrestlemania dream match where the loser has to go through all their bad angles all over again.

      • Alexandru says:

        Oh god I actually like Kane and Sting let’s not torture them. Now if it was Randy “the robot” Orton I’d be all for it.

  2. ChrisV says:

    Ric Flair must be in running for all the horrible story-lines he had to deal with during the last couple of years of WCW.

    This induction was a great way to gain sympathy for the heel.

    Notice that Paul Bearer’s character, unintentionally on the part of WWE it seems, kept returning from death.
    Encased in concrete…came back.
    Fell from the ladder…came back.
    Locked in a freezer…came back.
    All of which were incredibly stupid angles, mind.

  3. Alan says:

    The horrible Katie Vick angle took place in 2002, not 1992. That has to be the most disgusting, vile angle I’ve ever seen. IIRC, the match that lead up to this merged the IC Title with the WHC. What’s worse is Vince McMahon stating that he thought that the whole Katie Vick storyline was hilarious. He’s made some bad statements in his life, but this may be on the worst.

    • Art0Donnell says:

      But the *ahem* incident supposedly took place ten years prior, in 1992.

    • Alexandru says:

      Yeah Vince as a person seems really messed up

    • Down With OPC says:

      Kane raping Katie Vick supposedly took place ten years prior to the feud with Triple H, according to the Big Red Man himself.

    • Jimbolian says:

      Rainier Wolfcastle: “That’s the joke.”

      • Thomas Moffatt says:

        I disagree on Katie Vick – John Cena getting “stabbed” was worse as it was a mockery of the murder of Bruiser Brody and the exploitation of the Eddie Guerrero’s death was vile.

        There’s another wrestler who got far too many shit angles including one where Big Show got the squirts…

  4. Cameron A. says:

    If one believes the ECW Championship was of world heavyweight status in 2008 – I realize that shreds suspension of disbelief, but I don’t set the kayfabe – Kane had TWO years to wait between world championship runs. Then again, one also has to remember Kane’s eleven-second squash of Chavo Guerrero Jr. at WrestleMania XXIV, which was only MARGINALLY less idiotic than this angle.

    • Wet Fart says:

      It would also mean that Matt Hardy has won one world championship to Edge’s 11 instead of zero to Edge’s 11, which would make the Edge/Matt feud of 2005 approximately 8% less idiotic. I guess.

      Incidentally, Bobby Lashley is now a three-time world champion based on that criteria. That’s three more than Owen Hart, Davey Smith, Curt Hennig and Scott Hall combined. There is no Christ.

  5. Anonymous says:

    Awful feud; nice induction.

  6. The Doctor of Style says:

    This must’ve been a work between Edge and Paul Bearer! Consider: when he returned to society, Bearer never pressed charges against Edge, not even with Edge confessing to the crime live on television.

    Plus, these images all show Bearer with a shave and a trim mustache. Would a real kidnapper have provided him this opportunity?

    Note, too, that no security guards or anyone at the live shows ever tried to rescue the bound and gagged man in the wheelchair. It must’ve been because they saw Bearer voluntarily let his crony Edge tie him up backstage!

  7. Down With OPC says:

    You forgot to mention that time Edge was taking off the duct tape on Paul’s mouth to let him speak, then retaping his mouth to shut him up…then the duct tape fell off but Paul still couldn’t speak.

  8. Jeremy says:

    It was almost like they wanted to give Edge some Wrestlecrap on his resume and Kane was the undisputed king of that. Even though they had fought before in 2004 and had a Wrestlecrap-riffic feud involving Lita in 2005 and had a brief “feud” in 2007, the statute of limitations ran out by 2010, so they had to give Edge one more Wrestlecrap-worthy feud before he retired.

    What’s ironic is in 2005, Edge was supposed to be the heel, stealing Lita away from the man who forcefully married and impregnated her the year before, while we were supposed to sympathize with Kane somehow. But in 2010, when Edge was the face and Kane was the heel, they ended up making you sympathize more with Kane. But such is the case with modern day WWE, where heels are pretty rational likeable people and faces are completely immature pricks for the most part (with the exception of the Authority v. Daniel Bryan feud)

  9. Peter says:

    “But who doesn’t love a good tie in wrestling?”

    I believe Justin Roberts has something to say about that.

  10. Mister Forth says:

    These 2 really should’ve had a better feud.

  11. Down With OPC says:

    I think one of the worst parts about this feud is that it completely made Kane look like a fool, as stated in the induction above. After Kane defeated Undertaker, I really thought Taker would come back later and get revenge on Kane. However, as the Kane/Edge feud played out, I realized that this was just not going to happen.

  12. Russia - Legdrop drops you! says:

    This feud was in the last years of Edge’s wrestling career. It was quite bad in my opnion.

  13. segaz says:

    Art O Donnell, keep updating man! don’t listen to the trolls who say some stuff isn’t really wrestlecrap, otherwise we might as well get rid of the awesome Repo Man induction.

    More inductions!
    MORE!!!!!!

    pls

    • "The Big Cheese" Paul Kraft says:

      Rest assured that Art will be here with new inductions every couple weeks for the foreseeable future. :)

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