Induction: Heel Dixie Carter – 2013 Gooker Winner (Winner Turkey Dinner)!

130 Submitted by on Thu, 30 January 2014, 22:11
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Impact Wrestling – 2013

I remember years ago when TNA was in its infancy, folks would email asking if I thought there would come a day when they might ever nab the ‘coveted’ Gooker award.  I found it unlikely at the time, but not for the reason you may think.  I mean, it wasn’t that the company never put forth any Crap.  Hunt down TNA: Year One in the archives and you’ll see what I am talking about.  Flying Elvises, fat guys named Cheex, and a midget, ummm, ‘pleasuring’ himself in a trash can.  How much crappier could it get?  So while the Crap was sometimes bountiful, I wasn’t sure they’d ever get the number of eyeballs on them that would garner enough support to give them the nod.

Now? 

Back to back winner.  In fact, they’ve won three of the last four years.  

So I no longer question IF they’ll win; I wonder when the next time will be that they WON’T.

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You’re sorry?  

Hey Freepolls.com – you didn’t have to watch months and months of atrocious shows wherein a promotion decided that men such as Kurt Angle, Sting, Bully Ray, Jeff Hardy, Robert Roode were unworthy of the spotlight.  

You didn’t have to try to make it through never ending promos that went nowhere or maybe the company you were watching look like the stupidest, most rinky dink promotion ever to somehow have a TV contract.  

You didn’t have to spend hours and hours watching this:

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Dixie Carter, TNA Impact President/Owner/Whatever.

More precisely:

Dixie Carter: HEEL!

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There was once a simpler time in TNA, a time when Dixie would show up randomly on television, in some vague capacity wherein you knew she ran things behind the scenes.  She’d show up when they signed big names like Hulk Hogan, flex with him, say something inane, look kinda goofy, and then vanish for another couple of months until there was another opportunity to show/flex/inane/goofy/vanish.  

It was fine.  

I knew the drill; every wrestling promotion needs money, so you find someone who can foot the bills.  In return, once in a while, you’d give them some screen time.  Why I remember the good old days of Jeff Cohen’s Championship Wrestling of America when our main money man, the late, great Superstar Junior Carr, who owned six dozen pizza places would get his 60 seconds of show/flex/inane/goofy/vanish time every couple weeks.

 

juniorcarr

“Send that dollar to CWA!”

 

Yeah, “Send that dollar to CWA!”  

That’s what Jeff would always say.  The theory is that you’d send a dollar, and we’d send you a ‘catalog’ of CWA merchandise I am pretty sure was just a single sided black and white copy of something with two shirts and a poster on it.  I wonder if Jeff ever got a single person to send him that dollar.  

I bet the answer is no.  I really need to ask him about that the next time I see him.

Where was I?

Oh, yeah, heel Dixie Carter.  

To be fair, she wasn’t a full fledged heel until late in the year.  Sure, she was in some horrific backstage skits now and again, and was a key cog in the square wheel that was the Claire Lynch project.  But her heel turn started in ernest September 19.  That was the day when she turned on a guy who had been with TNA since the very beginning, that being one AJ Styles.

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The story went that AJ was annoyed that Dixie was in charge of the company he worked for.  Why?  “No blood, no sweat, and no experience in wrestling at all!”  True dat.  (Do the kids still say that?  I sure hope not.)  Anyway, he brought up that Dixie cut all the talented guys in the promotion so that she could bring in MMA stars and old washed up WWE dudes who were looking for a paid vacation.  As you may expect, Ms. Carter wasn’t thrilled about such things being said.  How did she respond, you ask?  She responded by saying…

Wait.

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WHAT ON EARTH IS SHE WEARING?

Is it a poncho?

A table cloth?

Maybe a teenage girl’s bed sheet?

Her coming out wearing that should have told us, from day one, what kind of nefarious nogoodnik she was about to become.

And if her wacky wardrobe didn’t, her lambasting of AJ sure did.  Why, she said he was nothing more than, and I am quoting here, “An average fish in any pond!” 

AVERAGE FISH! 

ANY POND! 

If folks ever get tired of screaming “Daniel Bryan” at WWE shows, “AVERAGE FISH! ANY POND!” would be a great chant. 

Also – AJ was no longer the PHENOMENAL ONE.  No, he was now THE MARGINAL ONE! Oh yeah, and AJ didn’t build this house – DIXIE CARTER did. 

At least two ways to go with the punchline here.  Do I talk about how I wouldn’t be proud of to have put together such a dilapidated shanty?  Do I talk about how the house got foreclosed when she got evicted from the Impact Zone? 

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Yeah, I don’t know either, dude.

Err, Dixie.

But it wasn’t just AJ facing her wrath.  Soon no less than Hulk Hogan was in her sights!  I mean, the legendary, iconic, IMMORTAL HULK HOGAN.

I know what you are asking.  

The same thing I am.

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WHAT ON EARTH IS SHE WEARING?

To be fair, I’ve spent a lot of the last 14 years watching terrible Hulk Hogan movies and mocking them for your amusement.  (In fact, my next induction is going to be me going back and doing just that with one I’ve never seen.)  It’s no secret that I think Hogan is a completely horrible actor.  But anytime he was in the ring with Dixie?
 

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Oscar winner.

Sadly, it all came to a head between these two very quickly, as Dixie wanted Hogan to join forces with her, to be on her side.  To the point, she was looking for the Hulkster to ride…and I can’t even believe I am typing this…THE DIXIE TRAIN.

If I didn’t know any better, I’d think that was innuendo.

Some lewd, vomit inducing innuendo.

So what was Hulk’s decision going to be?  

Would he ride the Dixie Train?

And if he did, would he be the engine or the caboose?!

The world (or at least a 1.1 TV rating of it!) wanted to know!

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Shockingly, the Hulkster decided he wanted no part of the Dixie Train.  In fact, it would be his last night ever with the company.  How did Dixie save face for the company as it lost the largest star it ever had?

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Yep!  By grabbing onto his leg and begging him to stay.

If you ever wanted to explain to your friends why TNA will always be the laughingstock of the wrestling world, that image right there should be your first piece of evidence.

Note I said first – we’ve got over 10 years of nearly equal stupidity to cover when Bryan & I pen the inevitable “Death of TNA”.

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With Hogan gone, Dixie was now free to turn her attention back to AJ, who had now become her company’s world champion.  He had done this somehow without being under contract, which was either a shoot or a storyline that no one could have possibly cared about, take your pick.

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 But now that he was champ, she wanted him around.  So she offered him money!

A watch!

A fancy dressing room that was almost as nice as her own!

And a brand new convertible!

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AJ did what anyone in his position would do: promptly tore up the contract and drove away in the convertible, leaving the company for months.

Seriously, that was their idea to get you to keep watching – have their champion drive away, with the title, and promise to never, ever return.

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With AJ gone, she made the decision to crown a new champ and introduced her latest bombshell: THE WHEEL OF DIXIE!  It was exactly what you would imagine a TNA made wheel would look like: a wobbly, poorly painted and labeled contraption barely capable of making a complete rotation.  

Probably purchased at a garage sale.  

And it had goofy matches that she would dictate with a single spin, usually while some overblown announcer told us about how FATE LIES IN THE WHEEL OF DIXIE.  

But hey, if you thought carnival games and top stars getting the hell out of dodge as quickly as possible was all Dixie Carter had up her sleeve, you gotta another think coming!  

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She actually brought back Pac-Man Jones!  Yes, the legendary WrestleCrap inductee himself.  Long story short, he’s a football player and convicted felon that TNA brought in because they thought it would bring them some much needed pub.  Which it did, but it was negative pub.  But said negative pub wasn’t that TNA was bringing in a felon, it was that the FELON LOWERED HIMSELF BY GOING TO TNA.

I could blather on about Pac-Man, but instead I will simply note you can read all about it, and 10 billion other things, in the archives.  If that tease there isn’t enough to get you to plunk down the $14.95 to gain access, maybe this fantastic photo of me playing Pac-Man as a grade schooler is.

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SEND THAT DOLLAR (AND $13.95 MORE) TO WRESTLECRAP.COM!

 

Let’s see, what else did Dixie do?

Oh!  

I know!

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She brought in her ‘nephew’, Ethan Carter the Third!  EC3!  See, it’s like RG3, except…well, pretty much everything save for the fact that he has the number 3 in his name.  He was around to beat up scrawny jobbers the likes of which would make Dwayne Gill shake his head.  Other than that, for no reason really, other than as Dixie noted, because “We’re the Carters, and the world needs us!”

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I would be remiss if I didn’t bring up Dixie’s Thanksgiving extravaganza!  Apparently, in her family’s company (err, MANY companies), they take the entire work force and have them compete against each other.  Those that are victorious are given a feast.  And it’s called…WINNER WINNER TURKEY DINNER!

That is so delightfully idiotic I may pit the WrestleCrap crew against each other this November.  Blade vs. Justin vs. Jordan vs. Art vs. Cheese vs. Emerson vs. Jed vs. Sean vs. Troy in a battle for giblets for my amusement is just too enticing an idea to let slide.  

I just hope I can twang my voice just as much as Dixie did during her heel turn.  Seriously, she started out with a normal voice, and the more evil she became, the more hillbilly redneck sounding she got.  

Here, take a listen!

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In addition to all the other goofiness I’ve mentioned, she also came up with her very own wrestling encounter: THE DIXIELAND MATCH.  It takes place in a cage, then out of a cage, then on a ladder, then in the crowd, or something.  I don’t know.  To be honest, I gave up years ago on trying to figure out TNA stipulation matches.  Remember back when Mike Tenay told us something was “quite simple” then showed us three pages of rules?

That was when I broke.

I’m convinced I’m not the only one.  Look:

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I’ve never been the biggest Jeff Hardy fan, but his facial reaction upon hearing the rules to this fiasco kinda sums it all up.

The year ended with Dixie finally ridding herself of AJ as champ, Hulk Hogan altogether, and getting herself a new champ, Magnus, a guy who no one outside of England even knows, let alone takes seriously.  

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Yee haw.  

Or should it be Hee Haw?

So as 2013 ground to a halt, with the HMS Impact ramming right into an iceberg, how will TNA keep us tuning in?

Here’s a hint:

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Yep.  More Dixie Carter.

Sing it with me, won’t you?

Go away, go away, go away DIXIELAND!

Written by

Yeah, you know...the WrestleCrap guy. Been here since before day 1, I have. You can hang out with me on Facebook. (I'm on there quite a bit) or follow my exploits on Twitter (I'm on there not quite so often). Thanks, and Keep on Crappin'!
130 Responses to "Induction: Heel Dixie Carter – 2013 Gooker Winner (Winner Turkey Dinner)!"
  1. Michael says:

    Probably going to get some slack for this, but heel Dixie is a much more consistent character than HHH or Stephanie have been since like September. The Authority can never decide what reaction they want, and seemingly change week by week whether they want to be ferociously booed or bowed down to. In fact, there was one week in which this changed IN THE SAME SEGMENT. Dixie may be a charisma vacuum and since around June TNA has sucked a massive cock (they had a really good 12 months between Destination X 2012 and DX2013), but at least I know what she is meant to be; a heartless bitch who is the boss of everyone. How am I supposed to react to HHH when one segment he’s asking The Shield to attack guys, then he’s putting those same guys in main event matches and putting the odds against The Shield? The Gooker Award should have gone to HHH and Stephanie, who for whatever reason weren’t even nominated.

    Please note that by HHH and Stephanie, I don’t mean the Daniel Bryan story, which is what I imagine the first reply (if there are any) to this will insinuate I mean. I mean the characterisation of Triple H and Stephanie McMahon; the least consistent and most poorly written characters in all of television right now.

    • Jay West says:

      Flack is what you’re expecting to get, not slack :-)

      I have to disagree with you, though. Now, so we’re all on the same page, here: I’m neither a Triple H or Stephanie McMahon fan, nor a WWE fanboy. The only two matches Triple H has ever had that were, in my opinion, remarkable, were his ladder match vs. The Rock at SummerSlam 1998 and his Street Fight vs. The Undertaker at WrestleMania X7. Stephanie was crush material for me when she was introduced in late-1999 and became Test’s love interest, but ever since she turned heel and joined up with Hunter later that year I’ve pretty much used any segment in which she appears as time for a restroom break.

      All that said, I don’t think the Authority gimmick/angle/storyline has been inconsistent. The catchphrase of the regime has been “best for business,” and Trips & Steph have basically used that quip to explain any decision they’ve made on-screen. Even if you look back to the Corporation, Vince would occasionally book things that didn’t outwardly appear to work in the favor of everyone in his stable. There was also a running theme of Vince inevitably ending up in cahoots with whomever the stable was feuding with. Rock, Triple H, Kane, and Steve Austin all eventually ended up being revealed as being part of some master plan Vince had been working on all-along. And who can forget the Corporate Ministry?

      Not to say this Authority nonsense has exactly resulted in any must-see television, but I respectfully disagree with your evaluation that Triple H and Stephanie have been “inconsistent.”

      • dowman5744 says:

        I’d swear that recently HHH or Steph would heel the crowd. Something along the line of the fans not knowing was was best for business. Inconstant character is what killed Kurt Angle(wwe), any McMahon, Big Show and Chris Jericho for me.

    • dennett316 says:

      I disagree. They are just a different type of heel. Since the start they’ve been saying “Best for Business”, while obviously still doing what they want and getting their own way, but trying to make it seem like they’re actually reasonable.
      And this comes off the back of angles before that that had the WWE board disapproving of ego-maniacal owners or unsavory behaviour from the authority figures on the show….so it makes a great deal of sense that they’d take a more subtle approach. Like giving RVD a match he wanted, then all of a sudden Del Rio shows up to beat the crap out of him backstage. HHH can claim there was no set up, but there obviously was.

      Dixie is trying to be a version of Stephanie from the past – cartoonishly evil and bitchy – but she’s not quite got the talent for it.

    • 80's Guy says:

      I know exactly what you’re saying. The fellas who are disagreeing are missing some main points.

      They started out against Bryan, holding him down, and (for whatever reason) Show butted his head into it.

      Then they get Kane involved, and are obviously heel characters.

      Then they start turning on their face Orton (for no apparent reason), talking smack to him, and even having Cena side w/them in the segment where Orton runs into Steph.

      They come out at the beginning of one Raw, playing to the crowd and mentioning the area name for a cheap pop. Later in the night they’re back to their heel ways, talking down a face character. Then, even later, they’re reprimanding Kane for being mean.

      WTF???

      Yes, they have flipped back and forth more than Mr. Anderson or Big Show’s face/heel turns. I don’t see how anybody with eyesight and a modicum of common sense could say otherwise.

  2. Jacob says:

    Absolutely, positively wonderful Gooker induction, RD! Can’t wait for next year’s induction!

  3. JimbobJones says:

    By far the worst Gooker winner ever (as in undeserving). And what happened to not inducting ongoing angles?

    Sorry, RD, but this is the WM 9 of Gooker awards.

    • Scrooge McSuck says:

      Dixie clinging to Hulk’s leg like a desperate child is more than enough to wave that unofficial rule.

    • CP says:

      UNDESERVING? Are you on crack?

      • JimbobJones says:

        Yes. I’m on crack.

        Still doesn’t change this from being a “blah” effort on a Gooker award.

        • Jugs says:

          So blame the voters. I don’t see how you can hold RD responsible for what people chose. For the record I chose Brooke Hogan.

          • Thun says:

            I think this induction was well-written and all. The Winner Winner Turkey Dinner and the go away part were pretty funny.

            What I don’t really agree with was that this was what won the Gooker Award, but I don’t really want to point at people for just jumping at Dixie because of what she has done with TNA these years. The only thing I personally want right now is to see some of the losers of the poll being deservedly inducted.

            Mostly Total Divas (the one I voted for) and Brooke Hogan, those two things need to be inducted ASAP.

    • Anonymous says:

      The only other thing that deserved a Gooker over the past year was Totally Divas (or whatever the crap it was called). Even Brooke Hogan’s career in the wrestling business wasn’t on the level of crappiness that I expect from a Gooker winner. So if it wasn’t going to be the “reality show” then this works as well as anything.

  4. Raven7309 says:

    Here’s a suggestion: Tak Dixie’s, Eric Bischoff’s, & Jake Robert’s roulette wheels, attach them to a TNA six-sided ring, throw the Wrestlecrap crew in it, have a Team Challenge Series “Turkey on a Pole” match, follow the same route that the flatbed transport that the Blacktop and Dustin Rhodes wrestled on, and have Art O’Donnell and Susan St. James on commentary.
    “Licence To Print $$$$” :-D

  5. C thomas says:

    Great Gooker induction. Ive always wondered if Dixie knows how many people talk about her demise and wanting them to go under… its really sad. I don’t know how they have lasted this long.

  6. Jed Shaffer says:

    I accept the challenge!

  7. Jordan Mishkin says:

    I picture RD watching the Wrestlecrap Giblet Battle Royale while sitting atop a golden throne, WWF Niagara Falls goblet in one hand, giant Disney World-style turkey leg in the other. Possibly with a crown on. Maybe King Haku’s crown (does not come with Haku as illustrated).

    • CanadianArmbar says:

      1- Don’t let the Surrounding Crap distract from how great the former Derrick Bateman has been in his role as a spoiled brat, and the only person using the TNA 24/7 videos to their full viral potential.

      2- Sadly, with each strange outfit that showed up onscreen, I just thought “yep,still would”

  8. That Izzy Dude says:

    I wasn’t a big TNA watcher, so I voted different. After reading this…wow. In the words of the AVGN….

    WHAT WERE THEY THINKING?!

    this did make me laugh, though. Shook my head more than anything else in recent memory. And I watched this years Royal Rumble. Kudos Mr. Reynolds.

  9. AK says:

    I think part of Dixie’s heel shtick should be wearing the most ridiculous looking outfits she could possibly find. To quote Jason Sensation when he was pretending to be Owen Hart
    “What the hell am I doing wearing this ridiculous outfit? I look like a damn road sign!”

    She could be the wrestling equivalent of Don Cherry. That should get her enough heel heat for years.

  10. Rich says:

    Hey! Leave Magnus alone!!, still can’t believe this beat out total dumpsters and botch Hogan.

    • Hunter says:

      People have been wanting TNA to put the title on a homegrown star for years. It’s a shame TNA is in such dire straits. Magnus would be a good young champion for an opposition product.

      Also, EC3 is awesome. This angle started out as crap, but has been gradually getting slightly better.

    • Jugs says:

      There’s nothing wrong with Magnus (apart from his arrogant dismissal of online critics as “if you’re not in the game you don’t know what you’re talking about”) and I disagree entirely with RD’s assessment of him, but the truth is that TNA fans were crying out for YEARS for some new blood at the top and were repeatedly refused this. Until the latter part of 2011 there had only been three world champions that had not spent significant time in any other mainstream nationally-televised wrestling promotion, and two of those – Styles and Joe – had still been world champions in other companies and were indy legends. The other one was Abyss, who was booked as a complete and utter joke as champion. Since then we had Roode being made to look like a total choker at Bound for Glory against an injured Angle, then James Storm getting a title shot on Impact from nowhere for a championship win with no build whatsoever that ended two weeks later (also on free TV resulting in no buyrate) when Roode turned heel and beat him, since TNA cannot book a fresh babyface champion to save their lives. Roode was a decent heel champion and lost the title to Aries, who promptly jobbed to Jeff Hardy on the biggest stage of them all since he couldn’t take the focus away from the ‘real’ stars. Then Bully Ray won the title and was a good champion, lost it to Sabin in a big but welcome surprise that didn’t lead anywhere since Ray won the belt back within weeks and Sabin went back to the X-Division, making it pointless beyond a quick shock. Styles thankfully won the title at BFG to prevent three years in a row that a TNA homegrown had blown an enormous opportunity in the main event of the year’s biggest show, but then left and Magnus was turned heel in the title match – again, proving that TNA just has no faith whatsoever in babyface champions. Meanwhile, many fans still haven’t forgotten how badly TNA dropped the ball with Monty Brown and it’s still an absolute joke that Daniels has never been world champion while guys like a semi-retired Mick Foley and a guy whose entire gimmick was to say “asshole” while trying to claim that WWE was the childish company have held the belt for prolonged periods.

      So, in that context, it’s no surprise that Magnus’s title reign has met a lukewarm reaction. It’s not his fault.

  11. Paul says:

    Be honest– the reason TNA wins the Gooker so often now is because of the sycophants who consistently attack the organization at every opportunity. Biased doesn’t even begin to describe it.

    Heel Dixie is bad, but worse than cobra charming? Yodeling Cesaro? All things Miz?

    I know it’s subjective, but come on.

    • Ed Zane says:

      In a sense, TNA’s incompetence is doubly awful because they don’t offer an alternative to WWE’s gripes: wasting of talent, overlong shoots, and infantile humor. TNA just takes that bar and lowers it. Lowered it until it buried near the mantle of the earth.

    • Jay West says:

      I’m with Ed. There’s a reason so many people are so eager to bash TNA. I’m guessing you’re a TNA fan, and that’s fine. There’s fact, there’s opinion, and then there’s popular opinion – which makes something a fact. What I mean is, if someone is accused of murder but says they didn’t do it, and there’s no rock-hard proof that they did it, and a jury decides the person is guilty… Well, then it’s a fact that, that person committed the murder. But it’s a fact that was proven by the popular opinion of the jurors. That’s the deal with TNA. Sure, it has it’s fans, and I think its great that TNA fans enjoy the product. But the popular opinion is that TNA is awful. Popular opinion = fact in this case. They suck, and that’s why it’s a bash fest.

      Back to me agreeing with Ed: If TNA would stop copying WWE at every turn, and actually try to be an ALTERNATIVE product, I think the popular opinion would change. Even if the product still sucked.

    • C thomas says:

      dude even pro wrestlers knock the organization. nash,bret hart,Mick foley,steiner,hall,waltman, flair, jericho, etc etc.

    • ddt says:

      While Ed and Jay have good points, I agree with Paul.

      Dixieland TV was certainly bad, Carter got way too much air time (despite her MILFness) and the evil authority figure angle is beyond tired and boring, but I will give Dixie this — she generated some pretty good heat in each of her appearances.

      In my opinion, the cobra charming crap was by far the worst element of 2013. I don’t care if it was a one-time deal or if it was planned stupidity…er, “comedy”…it was beyond ridiculous and was the kind of thing that makes wrestling…er, “sports entertainment” (ugh)…look like a complete, unapologetic joke. Now that’s Wrestlecrap.

      • Hunter says:

        I do wonder how people would feel about the cobra chraming if say, Chikara had done it. They did silly crap all the time (slow motion matches, hypnotizing people, pause buttons) and got nothing but acclaim for being a great comedic promotion.

      • Jugs says:

        And it will be inducted in due course, if it’s considered worthy. This was, however, a poll on what the worst angle of the year was. You agreeing with Paul without either of you having any evidence for it (and, in fact, you don’t even acknowledge his claim that the voting was biased) doesn’t change anything nor make it credible or reliable. The fact is that Paul states himself that it’s subjective, yet when the subjective consensus doesn’t come back the way he wanted it to, he starts crying that other people are biased instead of wondering whether or not the popular way of thinking may actually have something to it. I’m not suggesting you always jump on the bandwagon or back the majority as that’s a fallacy in itself. What I’m saying is that Paul wouldn’t have seen the irony if Miz had won and someone had posted about how the voting was biased. He would have been the first to shout it down. But when it’s TNA on the receiving end, all of a sudden there’s a problem. That’s not how the democratic process works.

      • TortureRackofDoom says:

        I’m in agreement with those who have mentioned that there is a stigma (particularly in the IWC) over TNA that creates a very biased opinion as pertains to what is “crap” or not. There were comments back on the voting thread of folks genuinely stating that they have not actually seen any of heel Dixie but voted for it anyway because of their dissatisfaction with TNA in general. Some have stated the same on this thread. That doesn’t justify a Gooker Award… I personally don’t think it even qualifies as “Wrestlecrap.”

        While Dixie has been on the show a ton since her turn (though she was beforehand too), so has every other heel authority figure in wrestling over the last two decades. I’ve always seen the gimmick as being entirely tongue-in-cheek: the ridiculous Southern accent, the blatantly gimmicky Dixieland Match, EC3 and Spud’s awesomely flunky characters, even the turkey episode– it all is so on-purpose over-the-top so as to show how out-of-touch Dixie (the character) is with wrestling, just as AJ (the character) claimed her to be. Dixie (the actual person) has disconnects as well, which certainly contributes to some of the shoddy things that have happened in TNA the last five or so years, but she’s done her best with this character, and I, for one, think it’s been very fun to watch. I feel a lot of folks either haven’t realized that it’s supposed to be over-the-top or haven’t seen it at all and just heard about it from their groaning, grumbling, whining, “typical TNA” IWC friends.

        • Ed Zane says:

          To paraphrase Goering (you can’t go wrong with quoting Nazis), whenever somebody defends a piece of entertainment as “camp” or “intentionally bad”, I reach for my revolver.

          Tongue-in-cheek is fine; but not, in and of itself, enjoyable. Alright, so they’re making light of Dixie’s affluenza, indifference to AJ, and general lack of awareness. My immediate question would be, “AND–?”

          What’s changed? The boss is wearing clown shoes. She’s still undeservedly soaking up valuable screen time at a point when the show desperately needs new energy. This is like Conan O’Brien blowing the budget on Bugattis because he knows the curtains is coming down anyway.

    • Jugs says:

      In my experience, it’s hardcore TNA marks that are the most biased, often ignoring the company’s myriad problems while taking issue with other companies for the exact same things. The also constantly portray themselves as underdogs and victims even though TNA’s modus operandi has for years been to betray the very assets that made it stand out and become popular to begin with and instead do its best to mimick WWE in almost every superficial way imaginable except the ones that actually matter (promotion, build, character history, and most importantly creation of new stars). So you saying “be honest” then posting a comment that is frankly intellectually dishonest and evidentially lacking on all bases means nothing.

      This won the Gooker because it was judged to be the worst angle in a small field that was mostly WWE angles, many of which – specifically the three you listed – were not in any way important to the company and affected nothing beyond the lower-midcard. You could argue that it was ‘biased’ for the selection to be so heavily balanced towards WWE, but nobody would do that because they’re not so warped by their pathological defense mechanisms that they would make such a gymnastic leap. It’s about time the TNA sycophants grew up and tried listening instead of sticking their fingers in their ears and playing the victim card.

      • Rob says:

        Thank you. You are spot on. TNA fanboys are the most insecure, hypocritical group on the Internet. They can dish out the bad mouth on the WWE, but the can’t take it when poor widdle TNA gets it’s share of criticism even when it is deserved. I am sick of the TNA fanboys and the “TNA are victims” card.

    • Evan Waters says:

      In fairness, Yodeling Cesaro lasted for all of, what, a few weeks before they put him in Real Americans (which was an odd fit at first, but he’s much more over as a result so that’s good)? It would have been Gooker-worthy had they stuck him to it long enough to really hurt him.

      Plus this angle was much more integral to the promotion than anything Miz did or Santino doing comedy skits- this was basically TNA trying to play “It’s all an angle!” when their champ, and one of the company’s vital players for years and years, legit walked out. It’s comparable to WCW’s Great American Bash sans Flair or the actual World title.

  12. Casey says:

    Meh.

    A technically sound induction and all but there’s a reason that the unofficial rule about not inducting a current storyline should be an official rule. I feel like this is incomplete because I’m confident that she’s going to be just as outrageous and stupid in 2014 as she was in 2013. She hasn’t scratched the surface of ridiculousness I don’t think and this induction could seem incomplete and kind of out of date by oh…I dunno, next week.

    I voted for Brooke Hogan because that chapter was over and done with and atrocious to boot. There were a lot of things that weren’t even nominated.

    I don’t think this was the WrestleMania IX of gooker inductions because I’m gonna remember WrestleMania IX for as long as I live. This was more like the random Randy Orton V. Kofi Kingston on raw match of gooker inductions. Fundamentally there wasn’t anything wrong but it sure doesn’t seem special which is a compliment to the high expectations and anticipation I have for Gooker inductions.

  13. Dan says:

    A worthy induction and well written, however I have to disagree with the inclusion of EC3. Despite TNA being worse than ever of the last four months or so, he’s been one of the few bright spots as an arrogant, entitled heel on the show.

  14. Scrooge McSuck says:

    2013 was thankfully a year where tons of really stupid crap wasn’t a problem.. it was a bunch of little crap in small doses. Cesaro’s yodeling lasted a month. The cobra thing was one episode of Smackdown. Heel Dixie begging and pleading for Hulk not to leave, then letting her World Champion walk, and then replacing him with a nobody is some seriously stupid crap. It’s not “OMG, CORPSE FUCKING” bad, but it’s some of the lamest stuff to happen in what amounts to being the #1 angle in the company.

  15. Anonymous says:

    Am I the only person who thinks that the only reason Total Divas didn’t win is because no one was watching it?

    • KatieVicstoriasSecret says:

      It’s actually doing pretty well in its target demo – the Kardashian demo, women 18-45. Which is why there’s no major overlap audience between it and Raw – or it and the Wrestlecrap populace in general.

  16. Justin Henry says:

    I’m Justin Henry; I’m that Meme’in’ dude
    Captionin’ photos, just to be rude!
    I do the world a public service, foo’
    I watch Raw so none of YA’LL have to!

    Putting me against the crew, ain’t no sweat
    I’ll maul Hobo Blade cuz he ain’t got a set!
    I’ll stand tall as the one lone grinner
    I’ll be winner winner turkey dinner! GET ON!

  17. Sir Thomas says:

    I was honestly expecting “All Things Miz” to win, but that’s coming from a guy who remembered the power crappings, and was expecting people to run a meme into the ground. Heel Dixie… Wouldn’t have been my first choice, but I guess it’ll do. Although I actually like EC3. Probably the only thing even remotely redeemable in my book. Even if that isn’t saying as much as I think.

  18. Autrach Sejanoz says:

    “Go away, go away, go away DIXIELAND!”

    Where’s Mr. Fuji when you need him? Excellent work, Deal!

  19. Marvelous says:

    This one was stretching. A lot. Honestly numbers as Magnus has been champ are up. So go ahead and give credit to anything but tna. You have lost sight. Cm punk leaves and I stop watching wwe. This shit means I can stop visiting wrestecrap. Ec3 is a good angle and his theme is great. But you won’t give them credit for that of course. Same as bobby roode and velvet sky. Wrestling is in a slump right now and you have yourselves to thank

    • Greg says:

      Don’t let the door hit you in the ass on the way out.

    • Jugs says:

      You won’t be missed. I’m sure when TNA folds you’ll still somehow find a way to blame someone else.

    • Evan Waters says:

      If there has been any significant upturn, it’s nothing but a return to the equillibrium of 1.1, which is basically the rating TNA will draw forever. Which is their one asset- SpikeTV will want them around for longer and so their TV contract is presumably worth something even with wrestling traditionally drawing lower advertising dollars.

      At this point nothing will turn the company around, ever. They’ve driven off just about everyone except the people who want an alternative to WWE but not badly enough to look on the Internet for ROH or NJPW or any of the smaller feds.

  20. Greg says:

    Seems to be an awful lot of butthurt in the comments. Boo-hoo, you just don’t like TNA or something, boo-hoo. Boo-hoo, this was a mediocre induction, boo-hoo. I mean, this is a site dedicated to making fun of some of the stupidest shit ever forced down wrestling fans throats, and people are BITCHING about a yearly feature pointing out the pinnacle of said crap (via poll, I might add, not just R.D. picking the winner himself). Personally, I think Carter is anti-entertainment, and I switch the channel anytime she’s on. This was a TOTALLY deserved Gooker award, and well written to boot. Good jerb there, R.D.!

  21. C.J. Smillie says:

    I know I’m probably in the minority here, but I’m honestly shocked that the Paul Bearer’s ashes angle not only didn’t win, but was near the bottom of the vote amounts. Yes, it was brief, only lasting until Wrestlemania that year, but it was still pretty damn offensive. Not to the sheer amount that the Eddiesploitation from 06 was, but it’s still in the same category of bad in that it uses a real death to provide “drama” and “controversy” for an angle. What makes it worse is that it wasn’t even needed in the first place. You have a top-talent guy in CM Punk, who can be a very effective heel when given the chance to just be himself, paired with the epitome of smarmy heels in Paul Heyman. And you have a legend in The Undertaker, whose legacy is so strong he doesn’t even need to do anything and he’s still considered a big deal. Throwing in Paul Bearer’s death just felt like the WWE creative team leaping on a recent event for the sake of being edgy and it hurt the feud instead of helped it, even if Punk and Taker were able to end with a solid match.

    Furthermore…I really don’t think heel Dixie is THIS bad. She’s bad, don’t get me wrong. Having a heel head of a company is so tired and played out now that it’s just sleep-inducing. And yes, her actions and demeanour just make TNA look low-rent, but then again I’ve had a hard time thinking of when they DIDN’T look low-rent. They’ve never been able to compete with WWE in terms of production values and I doubt they ever will. But in all the things that happened this year – which to be fair, wasn’t a lot – I don’t see Dixie as being the absolute worst. Does she warrant an induction? Yes, when her tenure is all done. Does she warrant the Gooker? No, I don’t think so.

    • Jay West says:

      I can agree with you that this Dixie nonsense may not be true Gooker material, but it’s baffling to me that so many people found the Paul Bearer angle in bad taste. WWE saw an opportunity to jump on a recent event, and it gave them an opportunity to be attitude-era-edgy within the confines of a PG rating. I’m a manager on the indys and I had the good fortune to work a handful of bookings with Percy in Nashville. By no means were we best friends, but I was (amazingly) the only manager in the promotion at the time so Percy was kind enough to lend me a good bit of his time each night to give me some critique and pointers. My point is, I didn’t know the man very well, but the man I knew would have absolutely given Vince his blessing to do the angle that led into WrestleMania 29. Percy was always so eager to tell anyone who would listen about how grateful he was for WWE paying for his lap-band surgery that ultimately saved his life a number of years ago.

      As for me, if my death can someday be used in an angle – whether it was WWE of just one of the few indy shows I’m loyal to – I would be hurt and upset if they DIDN’T do it. Business is business. Percy got a chance to do something that no other worker has ever done: Work a WrestleMania from the afterlife. One last chance to entertain the fans. What WWE did was smart and it was classy. I think people often forget that Percy’s family okay’d the angle before it was televised. People also forget that Percy’s son took to Facebook to clear up the erroneous reports on the dirtsheets that said WWE had lied to the family about how the angle would unfold. WWE didn’t lie, the family simply hadn’t mentally prepared themselves to see it unfold.

    • KatieVicstoriasSecret says:

      I think it’s a case of damage, in the end: the Bearer angle was a blip on what was a pretty hot heel run for Punk, and probably won’t be a memorable part of his permanent legacy (compare that to Triple H’s legacy: the Katie Vick angle is consistently among the top ten most memorable moments of his career, and it’s not a good thing. ), and definitely won’t register among the many, many angles in Taker’s career. It suffers for its briefness and for not being jaw-droppingly tasteless and an example of McMahon’s infinite smugness.

    • Jugs says:

      You could easily turn it around and say that WWE was in fact paying tribute to Bearer by using him in an angle after his death. It may not have been needed but I would personally have been more worried and more offended if Bearer hadn’t been mentioned at all.

  22. Ian says:

    The one thing nobody mentions about the picture of Dixie, Magnus, Spud, and EC3 standing on the stage after Magnus won the title is how disinterested EC3 looked in that shot and the sarcastic clapping he did.

    The owner’s “nephew” poo-pooing his “aunt”‘s celebration of her “crowning” moment? Oh yeah, he looked really great there.

    • James says:

      Whether he was meant to be conveying this at that point or not, I am not sure, but there is storyline friction between Magnus and EC3 brewing, with the champ belittling the latter quite often and even behind Dixie’s back on last night’s Impact.

  23. jackg says:

    Always fond of your stuff RD and all the WrestleCrap lads. :)

    I don’t watch or even follow TNA so it’s always fun to learn about the wackiness that goes on. As far as the Gooker goes: I wouldn’t have voted for cobra charming (I actually like that sort of dumb fun… I mean, it’s not wrestling, but it’s pretty harmless stuff, slight racial issue aside), Total Divas (again, just dumb fun really… though not probably not undeserving of a future induction), yodeling Cesaro (was awful and probably deserving of a future induction, but at least the WWE brain trust got over it… for now) or Miz (doesn’t really bother me to be honest even if he is much better as a heel… at least he’s enthusiastic I guess?).

    I wouldn’t put the Paul Bearer storyline on the same page as the Eddie one, but it still seemed cheap and sleazy (I know Bearer’s kids were supposedly okay with it, only they apparently felt a little guilty when they saw it unfold). The whole thing was off really, barring the actual Taker-Punk match of course. Perhaps you could link it to wider problems with WWE’s booking?

    All in all, good laughs all and here’s to another year. Maybe 2014 will be as surprisingly tranquil as 2013 seemingly was?

  24. Mr. Glen says:

    Not bad but I was wondering where the catalyst for this heel turn was? (The infamous Ask Dixie Twitter session)

  25. Ray c says:

    I’m gonna agree with quite a few other people and say that this was a botched induction, she didn’t get voted because of being a heel, she got voted because no one likes her. Her heel persona is basically a takeoff of what the Dixie haters think she actually is and she isn’t. In a way the IWC created this role.

    • Evan Waters says:

      It’s not so much her being a heel as her finally making herself the center of attention. For years, I had to give Carter credit that if nothing else, she realized she wasn’t an actress and didn’t try to insert herself into a Mr. McMahon/Eric Bischoff/etc. position. But then she snapped and now has to run through the same corporate angles that have been done to death ever since Montreal 1997.

  26. TerrierChad says:

    The worst thing about this induction is that, as horrible as Dixie is as an on screen personality, the main thing going through my head while reading the article is: “given the chance, I totally would.”

  27. Piper's Armpit says:

    Still think it should have gone to the Cobra incident. Awful.
    But I can’t stay mad at you, Mr Reynolds. Look at that face. I would send that dollar but New Zealand currency is worth about the same as American lint. And a very small amount of lint, at that.

  28. Down With OPC says:

    I took a dump when I started to read this Gooker induction. It really heightens (or should I say drops?) the WrestleCrap experience.

  29. Wally says:

    Fellas, I too would gladly “do the Dix.”

    But there’s something about that second photo where she’s sitting at her desk with her hands clasped. I can’t explain why, but something about that image makes me feel like I’m about to watch a short video welcoming me to eternal damnation in the bowels of Hell itself.

  30. patricko says:

    Well, at least the induction’s got folks talking…

    Someone came close to really nailing the root issue of Dixie-as-crap, above.

    Evil figurehead has been done to death. It’s lazy booking at this point.
    And just about every other occasion where Evil Figurehead is the center point around which most all
    aspects of the booking revolve, was done better.

    Dixie is bad TV. Combine her terrible delivery with not-great production quality, and anytime she’s on tv is seems like she’s winging it. Sometimes, like on Impact last night, I’m not even sure what the hell she’s saying.

    My guess is that crap like the wheel of dixie were SUPPOSED to be cheesy, because we’re supposed to think that she’s completely clueless.

    The problem is, if she’s at all successful in that role, we end up watching a wrestling show that comes off as… clueless.

    One thing that’s not been covered in all the responses, or in the induction, that’s a basic part of her schtick and a fundamental flaw in the storyline – if she and her band of mid-card merrymen succeed in running all the faces out of the company, who will they wrestle?

    Oh, and E3 – still waiting to see if he can really go in the ring or not, before passing final judgement.

    My guess is that this time next year, we’ll be inducting whoever the weird Hemme stalker guy is….

  31. Dave Mitchell says:

    A great read … had I even cared about the TNA product over the last year and a half, this might have had my vote. Unwatchable recycled stories and a waste of some good workers.

  32. Eddie Mac says:

    I know the whole CM Punk mess is the early leader in the clubhouse for the 2014 award, but early odds on Dixie going back-to-back, anyone?

    • "The Big Cheese" Paul Kraft says:

      If she’s a focus of 2014, I wouldn’t be surprised at all if she won again.

    • Evan Waters says:

      I’d say the leader is more the Royal Rumble booking and building to an apparent main event of Batista- who hasn’t been back long enough to build up any kind of story- vs. Orton, who has been booked so poorly he is now being greeted with silence instead of heel heat. If the WWE actually stays with that as their main event for the 30th Goddamn Wrestlemania, people are going to crap all over it no matter what the rest of the card is.

      Punk’s absence is unfortunate but he needed to stop wrestling for a while anyway. He has not been looking healthy the past few months.

  33. C. Peter Roberts says:

    Based on these pictures, Dixie buys a lot of her clothes from the Phyllis Diller Collection.

  34. legendwolf says:

    Nice induction. Can’t wait for the 2014 Gooker Winner: WWE2014 Road to Wrestlemania.

  35. Wally says:

    Obviously, Vince doesn’t much care for competition. So I’m curious, has he ever attempted to buy out TNA? Or does he just not consider TNA enough of a threat to bother with it? (I’m assuming the latter.)

    • RD Reynolds says:

      He’ll buy it out when it’s available for pennies on the dollar solely for the library.

    • KatieVicstoriasSecret says:

      What RD said, they’ll also probably want the library so they can release more complete DVDs for Hogan, Foley, etc. When the company finally collapses and they sign AJ Styles, they’ll want his footage too.

  36. Jim says:

    Short Version: Technically good but missing something, absurdly high expectations

    I fall in the “technically good but missing something” group. Her acting has improved but is still so bad (turn off the TV bad/read the recap instead bad, for me at least) that what I viewed as inconsistency really is based on her lack of skills: the pleading with Hogan and then dismissing him after he left was supposed to be the childish response of “I never wanted that think I really did want before but didn’t get”, but I don’t find her believable enough as an actress to pull it off.

    The induction nicely details some of her brilliant ideas, particularly the Thanksgiving match and the Wheel of Dixie but doesn’t go into enough detail (perhaps saving each for its own induction): included among the Wheel options was a Tuxedo match! What a way to suggest trying to determine a world champion. And what happened in the Turkey match? Was the final segment the heels eating only to be attacked by the faces and degenerating into a food fight? The induction was long but didn’t go into enough detail on some of these shenanigans. Plus, what about her crew: it’s basically Magnus (the champ), EC3 (the future?), Bro Mans/Zema, and Rockstar Spud? That inspires fear? And the faces are just stupid enough to not stand together and instead get picked off one by one (yes, I know it makes sense as a way to write off the higher price talent but less so within kayfabe).

    This Gooker reminds me most of “All Things Michael Cole”, which I disliked because the length of the angle practically required (unless RD wanted to get a head start on a chapter or three of Death of TNA) choosing between breadth and depth (also the primary reason I didn’t vote for “All Things Miz”, whose “oh crap, we need to turn him back because he has an ABC Family Christmas movie coming out” segment is induction worthy on its own). But because this subject was not only so long (much like this comment) but also ongoing, the induction fails to fully cover breadth (e.g. not mentioning #AskDixie, inviting Jeff Hardy to dinner – which may have been in 2014) or depth (e.g. a full breakdown of the Wheel of Dixie options and matches themselves, why EC3 is so bad – I think he’s OK but could be persuaded). While that is OK for something like Triple Kelly’s brilliant Bobby Roode-EY non-Gooker induction a few years back, it fails to meet my absurdly high expectations for the Gooker, especially as this is now one of my few chances to enjoy an induction by RD.

  37. Joe Laracuente says:

    Dixie’s got the fire and the fight of a gypsy Ain’t nothing stronger than the wheel of Dixie
    O-o-oh The wheel of Dixie O-o-oh

  38. Ian Clark says:

    Heel Dixie deserved to win, not just for how bad it’s been, but for what it could have been, but decided not to be. I think there’s some part of me that will always be a TNA mark: I love the idea of what TNA was supposed to stand for, and what it kind of sort of almost did stand for for a few years in the middle ’00s. But unfortunately, thanks to creative blunders, the application has never turned out anywhere near worthy of the ideal, or of the potential. So when I saw AJ come out and finally cut a promo calling out Dixie for her extremely poor choices of who to hire and who to push, I thought for just a split second that maybe this was it, maybe TNA would finally do the one thing that might be able to save them: Actually admit what shit they’ve been for the past… always. And vow to do better. Instead, Dixie decides the whole thing’s getting a bit too real for her, and decides to create the character of Heel Dixie to escape from it all and make it all just an angle. So instead of finally taking the heat for her continued incompetence, we see her transform into the obviously fictional character of a manipulative, Machiavellian evil boss. In other words, like so many times before, we see TNA eschew being real in favour of being a pale rip-off of WWE. Except that Vince McMahon actually played it well.

  39. Boz says:

    “Magnus – a guy who no-one outside of England even knows”

    Now while I’m not officially authorized to speak for the whole of England (just 99% of it), no-one INSIDE of England knows him either.

  40. Nick Nutter says:

    Gotta say this may be the most lackluster induction on the site, period.

    It doesn’t really say much about the angle itself, and is more just about Dixie wearing dumb stuff and having, well, TNA-style ideas. Nothing about this angle should be surprising to anyone who’s watched TNA, so the induction should have pointed out specifically WHY this is crap, and make us FEEL something one way or the other. Instead, it’s just…blah. At least when I read the Al Wilson one, even if I don’t remember what the hell that was all about (though unfortunately I do), it takes me right back to 2003 and paints a picture. If someone who hadn’t seen TNA during this period came back a few years from now and read this, I don’t think they would get why it was worthy of the Gooker Award. It just doesn’t have that timeless WrestleCrap flair to it. Truth be told, it feels like R.D. didn’t even want to write this because there wasn’t enough material to work with.

    So yeah. Not defending Dixie, just sayin’ there was probably more fertile ground to plow in 2013. (P.S.: I don’t think the fan voting thing was the best idea either; it plays too much into the IWC’s nerdrage.)

    • Eddie Mac says:

      To the best of my knowledge, they’ve always let the winner be decided via a fan vote.

    • Jugs says:

      I don’t see any ‘nerdrage’ in this result. If Miz or the Punk angle had won there’d be more scope for saying it’s based on that. The simple fact is that when it comes to judging the worst of the year, it’s impossible to please everyone. Hosting a ballot is the only way to try and gain as close to a consensus as possible, even if it’s still just the largest minority. You can’t pick and choose democracy based on whether you think you’re going to like the result or not, you either commit to it or you do your own thing and make it clear it’s only your opinion. RD chose the former and he was right to do so.

  41. Stephen says:

    Not only was this an undeserving winner in a list of poor nominations but the induction wasn’t anything special either. I’d go as far as to say it wasn’t even induction-worthy, let alone Gooker-worthy.

    Other inductions have been meaty enough to draw a ton of humour from ridiculous match types, dumb returns and silly gimmicks like the Wheel Of Dixie so why was it that they only received passing mentions in this? Some of the points mentioned were only barely related to Heel Dixie at all and were more to do with TNA writing in general, which I think shows how unworthy this was of being a nomination. It’s being spread very thin.

    Furthermore, since the nominations were announced, I’ve been incredibly disappointed to see that WrestleCrap — a site that has always prided itself on mocking the bad gimmicks and not the people behind them — has stooped so low as to refer to Dixie as “this”. Not just her but Miz and Brooke too. I find that behaviour incredibly disturbing.

    Finally, I agree with C. J. Smillie; I can’t believe that the CM Punk mockery of Paul Bearer didn’t win. Like he said, it’s in the same boat as the “Eddiesploitation”. To be frank, this is why the Gooker shouldn’t be decided on votes because it becomes a popularity contest and CM Punk fans are some of the most ravenous in the IWC. Although I hate to say this, imagine if it was Punk who had died and, like Paul Bearer, he was happy for his death to be used in an angle. However, it happened that the person mocking his death in the angle was The Miz. Instant Gooker winner.

    • Jugs says:

      Or maybe it’s because not everyone operates on mock sincerity and makes themselves feel better by taking offence on behalf of other people. Moreso, they recognised that it was a small cog in an otherwise excellent feud. You come across the same way as Paul, the vote didn’t go your way so you have to convince yourself there’s shenanigans or it was a fake vote that shouldn’t have been done since people didn’t vote the ‘right’ way. Again, if Punk had won it there would have been a ton of people saying it wasn’t worthy of even being shortlisted, and I would be one of those. Would you empathise with them and think maybe the voting wasn’t right? Of course you wouldn’t!

      People love democracy until their guy doesn’t win, then it’s either stupid or corrupted in their eyes. But then, I expect little else from someone whose reading comprehension is so bad that they thought the word ‘this’ was being used as a personal label.

      • Stephen says:

        Excuse me if I don’t accept lectures on what makes people feel better from someone named “Jugs” who has left about half a dozen defensive comments all over this induction defending their corner.

        It’s also pretty rich of you to think my own reading comprehension is lacking when you accuse me of thinking the vote was “fake” when I said no such thing. The fact is that Punk fans complained when the guy didn’t end the streak, so forgive me if I think they have trouble being impartial.

        To answer your question, no, I wouldn’t empathise with you if you were complaining about the Punk angle winning the Gooker because why would I relate to someone who thought the mockery of a man’s death winning the Gooker was the wrong choice?

  42. John Q Occupier says:

    Amen to that last sentence, Nick Nutter…

  43. Mister Forth says:

    Very well done induction.

  44. MWeyer says:

    And apparently TNA is getting a jump on the 2014 Gooker with the storyline of MVP as the big mystery investor in the company.

  45. JB says:

    The real question from this induction that no one has asked (that I’ve seen) – What in the name of all that is holy is that thing behind young RD in the PacMan pic? That thing is frightening.

  46. Erich says:

    Under Heel Dixie, we’ve lost Bischoff, lost Hogan (both, actually), lost Brother Love, had a number of great matches, and seen young wrestlers brought to the forefront of the company.

    Total Divas has given us….. hmmm…. I can’t think of any positives from Total Divas.

    • Jugs says:

      Confusing correlation for causation. Also, funny how you didn’t mention losing Styles. I guess you didn’t want to be inconvenienced by things that might call you into question.

  47. afoote says:

    “But her heel turn started in ernest September 19.”

    Why did that particular line from the induction give me visions of Dixie Carter and Jim Varney canoodling with a foot job on September 19.

  48. tdmoon says:

    I sent a dollar to CWA.

  49. thedude says:

    i cant say im surprised this won. tna is awful now. started watching a few years ago, and it was so much better. the good ol days of the 6 sided ring, before hogan ruined it. now we have this, where the top guy is terrible, the new guys are bland and generic, sad. austin aries and sabin are the best thing about recent tna. cant wait til ec3 is gone, the TNA version of chris masters has got to be one of the least interesting, boring, generic guys ive seen in years. when tommy dreamer has to carry your match, you should be ashamed.

  50. simplerollup says:

    Seems to be a lot of butthurt over something that was voted on and won pretty damn handidly.

    • Stephen says:

      Yes and we all know how fair-minded, reasonable and unbiased the IWC are.

      Remember when the Power Crappings had to be discontinued because Justin was frustrated with so many people voting Daniel Bryan being screwed after Summerslam? This is the same situation and the same IWC voting on the poll. Voting Bryan so highly back then is the same reason the Punk angle ISN’T being voted so highly now; because they love both guys.

      I hope RD responds to the controversy this year. This is quite clearly an undeserving Gooker-winner and an underwhelming induction.

      • Jugs says:

        So, Stephen, your solution to RD hosting a ballot in which whoever gets the most votes is inducted…is just to induct whatever the hell he pleases, regardless of how it might rate with his readers.

        This is the problem with babies such as yourself, you hate the fact that people disagree with you so you have to contort reality in your head to try and weave it into a conspiracy and demand that people don’t get a say to prevent what is a completely exaggerated possibility.

        Just get over it, you narrow-minded peon.

        • Stephen says:

          Putting the rudeness and the insults to one side, the fact is that it’s been done before. I used an example – the Power Crappings. A case of Justin’s cooler head prevailing over the IWC’s rabid heart.

          So Jugs, do you have a response to that or do you just want to continue insulting me? Because as fun as it is to watching you stomp your feet and have a tantrum in the comments section while pursuing a personal vendetta against me (for having a different opinion … on the internet …), I’ve got grown-up matters to attend to and can’t babysit you while you do it.

    • Jugs says:

      Laughing at how Stephen immediately proved you correct on all fronts. “My favourite didn’t win, so voting shouldn’t have been allowed!”

      Next thing we know, RD stops the public vote, inducts his own one and a load of readers (probably including Stephen if the award goes to TNA again) start moaning that it should have gone to a public vote!

      RD can only do one thing in response to this ‘controversy’ as Stephen likes to think of it – ignore it completely and keep doing what he’s done with the Gooker for the past 13 years. If people like Stephen don’t like how everyone else votes, let them cry.

  51. KatieVicstoriasSecret says:

    Not shocked this won, and not shocked it’s getting a mixed reception (for the record, I voted Total Divas because it manages to make every single person involved with the product look terrible on one level or another. Minus Daniel Bryan).

    This is pretty much a sweeping anti-TNA vote, in my little opinion, because 2013 is the year where the company’s wheels started coming off and they weren’t clever enough to mask it.

    The sad thing about it is that TNA had so much potential, and at one point they might have distinguished themselves in a different way; they had the X-Division, they had the Knockout division. Then they had Hogan and Bischoff. At least the company isn’t entirely dead yet.

    Congrats to RD and the gang on another successful year, and on a fun induction!

  52. Jugs says:

    I didn’t believe the Punk urn angle should have been nominated, nor do I accept the sneering condescension and self-claimed moral pedestal of people who were ‘offended’ by it. I also did not vote for Dixie as a heel. I accept the nominations and the overall result as being representative of popular opinion and reader feedback. It’s a shame that there are some on here who are so upset that a vote on a comedy site about lame gimmicks in professional wrestling are so insecure about not having their opinions backed up by others that they have to come up with excuses and immature labels towards those who voted differently (it’s bias against TNA! It’s bias towards CM Punk, even though this makes no sense because it’s a poll on what people DON’T like, not about what they do! The IWC that I am a willing participant of is clearly too stupid to have their say!) and, in some cases, actually want the voting to be removed from future Gooker winners because they can’t accept that someone else won, thereby proving themselves to be a far bigger liability to the intellectual reputation of the IWC than a thousand tilde-banging frothing Cena haters.

    I was disappointed with some of the choices, but I deal with it because that’s how this system works. Everyone has a vote and whichever gets the most votes gets inducted as the Gooker. It’s not a perfect system but it’s far better than RD relying on his own intuition to decide what he should label the worst of the year, and it guarantees that many people – whether it’s a large minority in this case on in some cases a majority – see their pick selected. To be so upset at the result of this that you would request RD do away with public participation completely is unbelievably pathetic.

    Not everyone can get their way. That’s the cold and harsh truth of the matter. Get over it and move on with your life.

  53. IC says:

    How can you forget her chief of staff Rockstar Spud?
    Seriously, the guy is in every other segment and a key part of Dixie Normous’ character.

  54. 80's Guy says:

    I’m surprised yodeling Cesaro didn’t get more votes. I mean, that was one of the most out of the blue, ridiculous, asinine, pointless decisions I think I’ve ever seen in recent times.

    By the way, I’m STILL pissed they pulled the plug on crazy R-Truth with Little Jimmy so quick. That was a classic f’n gimmick, dammit.

  55. CaptainRon says:

    When the nominees were announced, I was surprised that the mis-booking of Daniel Bryan wasn’t on the list. But even so, this would have beaten it out and I’ll tell you why. WWE’s handling of Bryan is bad booking. There hasn’t really been anything just flat-out horrible coming from that. Oh, sure, we have to listen to Nipple H drone blather about something on occasion, but the Authority segments are mainly boring, not grating. Plus, Daniel Bryan has put on some really stellar matches as a result (surprise surprise). Heel Dixie is not just bad booking, but you have an antagonist who is so incredibly ill-suited to be on-camera at all – let alone as a major character in the promotion. Dixie Carter makes Linda McMahon look like the Rock.

    There are two reasons why this is Gooker Award-worthy. The first is you have the hackneyed “heel authority figure” angle that we’ve seen ad nauseum since Montreal (and yes, Eric Bischoff pretty much invented the heel authority figure, but we can all agree that Vince McMahon perfected it). The second is, as I’ve mentioned before, that Dixie is just awful. Even before her heel turn, every time she’d show up on Impact, I’d say to myself, “Dixie Carter, why are you on my television?”

    And the reason this one wasn’t because there’s an “anti-TNA bias” out there. This won because it was horrible, Dixie Carter is horrible in it and – and this is key – it eats up so much TV time.

  56. Matty87 says:

    It is well deserved…. Anytime she is on my tv, I fast foward. Bless you DVR machine, bless you.

  57. Joseph Newberry says:

    RD, did you run the first Wrestlecrap BBS on that Atari 1200XL? If not, you should lie and claim that you did. You can devise a Tony Schiavone-style back story for the site, claiming that it traces its origins back to 1985 and the rampant rasslin’ BBS scene.

  58. Wes Kirk says:

    Well RD, I’d like to thank you for making your official position on TNA known with the “inevitable” death of TNA book coming. Three years of TNA making it into the Gooker, one wonders if your WWE Network subscription was paid or “anonymously” gifted eh?

    You make fun of a company that changes the rules as they go yet you did just that by inducting an ongoing angle. You honestly believe that Dixie Carter turning heel is more of a detriment to the business than the Total Divas series? Or, honestly, the Authority’s “consistency” as heel or face which was such a good debate in the comments since these days the Authority is still expected to be taken as face when they set up Daniel Bryan to be Zack Ryder’d in his car by Kane, although to be fair that was just Stephanie although she did yell “DROWN HIM!” when HHH stuffed his head in a bucket of water…

    If you want a true winner for 2013′s Gooker look no further than the ridiculous and shameful plugging of a free mobile WWE App along with instructional “video” that made it appear the WWE believes all their users are technologically illiterate six year olds with an advanced cell phone and nothing else to do but watch WWE during commercials on it. Or the announcers with their very own “Selfie” moment during a championship match? Or Michael Cole gigglesnorting his way through three hours of a show kissing Daniel Bryan’s rear end when he buried him for years on commentary and suddenly is a huge fan of his? The criteria was supposed to be that the angle was ended and did nothing to help wrestling but actually was a black mark in history for the business. I can agree with Claire Lynch, I can’t agree with the TNA/WWE Monday Night War II because the first night we saw more people watch wrestling on Jan 4, 2010 than had since the year 2000 on a regular weekly basis – over 7 million combined giving TNA their highest hourly and overall rating of all time.

    Oh, but isn’t TNA dying/being sold/etc like everybody’s claimed for the last ten years? How’s that prediction working out for you guys? Everybody spent the first part of this year saying TNA was going out of business or getting sold yet WWE posts a multi-million dollar loss in their operating income for the first quarter and the stock plummeted from 34 to around 18 in about a month and we’re just going to ignore that, right? I can hardly wait to see what TNA only angle/event makes it into the gooker for next year, because apparently the Million Dollar Man was right and everybody has a price, RD.

  59. harry beaver says:

    I love that the comments section is almost three times as large as the induction. I have a great nominee for next year, the whiny bitches that got all butt-hurt over A COMEDY WEBSITE!

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