Jordan Mishkin Archive | WrestleCrap – The Very Worst of Pro Wrestling!

Headlies: Triple H’s Sledgehammer To Be Inducted Into The WWE Hall Of Fame

8 Submitted by Jordan Mishkin on Mon, 16 January 2017, 08:00

Greenwich, CT – On tonight’s edition of Monday Night Raw, the WWE will announce that the first induction for this year’s Hall Of Fame ceremony will be none other than Triple H’s Sledgehammer. The sledgehammer, a long-time ally of the former world champion and current COO of WWE, has been a member of the WWE roster for over 15 years. Continue Reading...

Headlies: Alberto Del Rio Beats Up Ninja Turtle At Child’s Birthday Party

11 Submitted by Jordan Mishkin on Mon, 09 January 2017, 08:00

Las Cruces, NM – Former WWE Superstar Alberto Del Rio is once again in trouble with the law after assaulting another person in a Ninja Turtles costume. Las Cruces Sheriff Benjamin Munoz described the scene, saying “It’s just awful. I can’t recall ever seeing such a random and senseless act of violence. There were foam sais, nunchucks, and bos everywhere.” Continue Reading...

Headlies: Dixie Carter Is Ready For 2017, Dang It

6 Submitted by Jordan Mishkin on Mon, 02 January 2017, 08:00

Nashville, TN – TNA President Dixie Carter stumbled out of bed and slowly made her way to the kitchen. Still hungover from her New Years Eve celebration, Carter knew she desperately needed something to eat to keep the room from spinning. After downing several Jell-O pudding cups, and avoiding several passed-out party goers, Carter flopped down on her leather couch Continue Reading...

Headlies: Coca-Cola Reveals Special Wrestlecrap-Edition Cans For Christmas

12 Submitted by Jordan Mishkin on Mon, 26 December 2016, 08:00

Indianapolis, IN – In a surprise move, Coca-Cola will be releasing new specialty cans next year featuring the names and images of terrible professional wrestling gimmicks and angles. Coca-Cola Chairman and CEO Muhtar Kent explained the sudden and inexplicable change to the soda company’s traditional winter and Santa Claus-themed cans. “My flight had a layover this morning at the Indianapolis Continue Reading...

Headlies: Dudley Boyz Have Their Bar Mitzvah, Become Dudley Men

6 Submitted by Jordan Mishkin on Mon, 19 December 2016, 08:00

Brooklyn, NY – World Famous tag team The Dudley Boyz officially changed their name to The Dudley Men following their bar mitzvahs this past Saturday. The former WWE, ECW, and TNA tag team read from the Torah at Temple Beth Israel in Brooklyn, signifying their ascent into manhood. The ceremony, which was presided over by Rabbi David Shulman, was many Continue Reading...