I found this old WWF Program on eBay (Steve Lombardi and Barry Horowitz on the same card?! Somebody pinch me!) and it reminded me of going to so many house shows.
Picture it- Sicily, Italy. 1927…
(Oh wait, wrong flashback. Sorry!)
It’s the late-80’s and the WWF is coming to your town!
“BOY, OH BOY!” as Nathaniel would say.
You pay $30 for a front row seat, $5 to park, $3.50 for a hot dog that looks like it’s been sitting around under the heat lamps since Vince McMahon Sr. was a baby, $2.50 for a flat, watery soda that’s at least 65% ice, and then you pay $3 to $5 for a WWF Program and lineup sheet to see what matches are on the card tonight.
Of course, the WWF Program is really just old re-hashed WWF Magazine articles from 3 months ago (which itself covered a Pay-Per-View that happened 3 months earlier) combined with some short new articles…. but at least it gives you something to read until The Fink comes out to remind you that there’s NO USE OF LASER POINTERS and there’s plenty of great WWF stuff for sale in the lobby.
Oh, and by the way…
The matches listed on the paper aren’t the actual lineup you’re going to see tonight.
Demolition missed their flight, The British Bulldog has fleas, and Hulk Hogan has to stay home to take care of his daughter’s sick cat or whatever so that ended up being pretty much useless.
“Card Subject To Change”?
Yeah, I guess so!
But at least there’s a handy list of stations airing WWF Superstars, WWF Wrestling Challenge, and WWF Spotlight!
Plus you can send in the handy included application and $9.95 (you can bum that money off your parents, don’t worry) and join the Official WWF Fan Club and get some t-shirt iron-ons and other neat junk!
And really, you got to see some pretty good matches after all and the hot dog was okay once you drenched it in enough mustard, so it’s money well spent.
How many of you Crappers have a bunch of these WWF Programs sitting in a box your closet?