Someone Bought This: It’s not just stupid, but dangerous too!

14 Submitted by on Fri, 29 December 2017, 02:00

Crapper Paul S. writes:

So “The Villian” Marty Scurll is one of the breakout stars of 2017. This year he’s held gold in both Ring of Honor and New Japan Pro Wrestling, co-starred in the being the Elite web-series, and even has a T-shirt at Hot Topic.

And he’s also had a REMARKABLY ill-advised umbrella from New Japan Pro Wrestling that has a pistol grip and a tip that looks like a riffle. Yes we get that he’s a member of the Bullet Club but NOBODY needs an umbrella that can cause a panic, get you detained at the airport, or even get you shot by police.

Thankfully to my knowledge it’s only being sold in Japan a country with some of the strictest gun laws in the developed world, so the possibility of a wacko walking around with a real rifle is pretty low…

This just might be the worst piece of wrestling merchandise of 2017… at least there’s almost no chance that one of those ugly Enzo Amore shirts might kill someone.

Props to Marrow on the F4Wonline Board for pointing this one out to me.

Wow! That’s one of the stupidest, most potentially dangerous pieces of wrestling merchandise I’ve ever seen! This could easily get you shot at and possibly killed!

I can’t imagine who A). Suggested they make this and sell it, and B). Who approved it for production!

When it comes to oddball umbrellas, there’s only one man.. erm… bird I think of!


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14 Responses to "Someone Bought This: It’s not just stupid, but dangerous too!"
  1. Jerm says:

    While it will look cool as hell for his entrance at Wrestle Kingdom, this just has “bad idea” written all over it.

  2. John C says:

    It’s almost like the time I pitched to the WWE Merchandising Department a Undertaker Embalming & Burial Kit for Kids. Sure it’s fun for the youngsters to learn about this important process but it is messy and time consuming to find the right person you are planning on using as your subject. After being rejected on this idea I began to work on Be A Ho For The Godfather Glamour Dress Up Set marketed to at risk teenage drop outs. Never heard back from them. My new idea is a pop up book showing kids how to do the GTS on each other, fingers crossed. I’m a man with a plan.

  3. tk says:

    I know a lot about bad ideas when it comes to umbrellas… I live in a city that holds anime conventions every summer and new year’s weekend, I’ve seen a lot of people getting stopped outside the venue for just having umbrellas with sword handles. Damn straight someone’s gonna get shot (where I live anyway) walking around with one of these considering that I don’t think at the conventions we’re even allowed to carry the sword handle ones despite being sold in the dealer’s room.

    Now with that being said, I’m sure I’ll probably get one of these anyway because it looks awesome… I won’t ever take it outside though

    • Michael Z. Williamson says:

      Around here, no one would care. They’d wonder why you were carrying a fake, though, when a real one is useful.

  4. Sean Bateman says:

    I sent this to Marty via Twitter and there will be a spot of bother on you..

  5. MistaMaddog says:

    Would it help if the umbrellas were made with pink, blue or orange plastic?

    • "The Big Cheese" Paul Kraft says:

      Actually yes.. That’s why they don’t make toy guns only in neon bright colors- so cops don’t confuse them with actual guns and accidentally shoot some idiot. But really the whole concept is stupid and kind of gives me a creepy Columbine Killers vibe.

      • TK says:

        Even with a “safer” color, I think I’d still like to own one of these just for collection purposes… I can’t imagine myself actually using an umbrella like this anyway.

        Might still be an issue for conventions though, there was an incident in Arizona (I think Phoenix Comic-Con actually) that has a lot of cons changing their policies regarding cosplaying with props… I know for the most recent small convention I attended guns and blades (even if they were non-functional airsoft guns and tinfoil + cardboard swords) were outright banned. That might have just been because of the demographic because majority of the attendees at the con I was at were families and the venue was a library so maybe it was just an umbrella ban considering there’s no weapons allowed anyway in that type of setting?

        I understand your fear though, people are terrifying sometimes…

        • "The Big Cheese" Paul Kraft says:

          If all you’re going to do is display it on the wall then I mean yeah there really wouldn’t be an issue, but a lot of people are really stupid and would go waving it around at people in public…

      • Michael Z. Williamson says:

        The day after CA passed that law, a cop shot a punk who’d spray-bombed his gun orange.

  6. Michael Z. Williamson says:

    Amusing that the consensus is, “It’s really cool but stupid people might do something stupid with it or because of it.”

    By definition, because stupid people are stupid.

    And if you let the potential actions of stupid people dictate your own…

    • "The Big Cheese" Paul Kraft says:

      Yeah, but I mean this is just a bad idea to begin with… an umbrella that looks like a rifle. They changed the color of toy guns from black to neon green for a reason.

      • 80s Guy says:

        Yeah, because we’re become a pool of paranoid, uneducated, hypocritical namby-pambies.

        No, I’m not a member of the NRA, and I’m actually middle of the road politically. But if we’d focus more on solid education vs scare tactics we’d be better off.

        Hypocritical because it’s funny how people get up in arms over random, infrequent solitary nut case shootings but haven’t been on the soapbox and picketing against stricter gang policies for the past 2, 3 decades of them riddling the inner cities with a body count just as high, or higher, on a daily basis than those random, occasional ones.

  7. 80s Guy says:

    *we’ve, not we’re.

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