The Human Wrecking Machine Gets Butchered!

We head to Puerto Rico as Abdullah battles Zeus in a NEW INDUCTION!

It was a real quiet week, wasn’t it?

At least it was in Headlies!

In 2019, AEW launched…

…headfirst into WrestleCrap.

The Casino Battle Royale, inducted!

Cody Rhodes is finding out what the real “American Nightmare” is.

Make sure you have your insurance card when reading this week’s Headlie!

You demanded we give this company its first induction…and we FINALLY listened!

A long overdue induction is here!

We have our wallet, phone, and charger. Are we missing anything?

Get “locked in” with a brand new Headlies!

Wanna hear some smart-aleck crap all over other people’s matches? Of course not!

It’s our oldest induction ever!

Hook and Danhausen are Viva Las Vegas.

Place your bets and find out what happens in Headlies!

A Hoss Battle for the Ages – Ted Arcidi vs. Tony Atlas!

Rest Hold-A-Mania is running wild in a NEW INDUCTION!

Is Sasha Banks leaving the WWE?

Tony Khan is making his move in Headlies!

Mania 24? Australian tour? TNA? Nah.

Check out Ric Flair’s *real* last match.

WWE’s Colonel Sanders – inducted!

“Ow ow ow ow ow ow ow!” – Darby Allin’s back

Read this week’s Headlies to find out what else it has to say!

Headlies is ready to cast a spell on “The Wizard” Chris Jericho and his witchy ways.

It’s what the world has been waiting for – Vince McMahon in Animated Otter Form!

Surf’s Up 2: WaveMania…NEW INDUCTION!

All The Latest Crap!

Headlies: Gable Steveson To Fight Chad Gable For Use Of The Name Gable

4 Submitted by on Mon, 13 September 2021, 08:00
Minneapolis, MN – WWE’s latest signing, Olympic hero Gable Steveson has already issued his first challenge to none other that WWE star Chad Gable. Steveson, a collegiate star who won gold at the Tokyo Olympics this summer, is a blue-chip prospect. WWE is doing everything they can to keep him happy, including a Name, Image, and Likeness deal. Part of Continue Reading...
Read more

Induction: Sin Cara – Una comedia de errores

12 Submitted by on Thu, 09 September 2021, 20:15
When Triple H became an Executive Vice President in WWE, his first order of business was to poach Mexico’s biggest star: Luis Ignacio Urive Alvirde, known to the world as Místico. With Rey Mysterio plagued by injuries, the newly-christened Sin Cara promised to be invaluable asset to WWE, boosting ratings and live event attendance in Latin America while making a Continue Reading...
Read more

Headlies: Young Bucks, Lucha Brothers Match Changes Earth’s Rotation

0 Submitted by on Mon, 06 September 2021, 08:00
Hoffman Estates, IL – AEW’s tag team title match at All Out between the Young Bucks and Lucha Brothers was so action packed that it literally changed the world. Scientists have determined that the fast pace of the match, combined with the excessive amounts of flips and twists, actually caused Earth’s rotation to change. The energetic tag team cage match Continue Reading...
Read more

Someone Bought This: Heidenreich?

0 Submitted by on Fri, 03 September 2021, 02:00
Crapper Milan Vasi writes: Hey Paul, so I was at Dollar Tree here in Hamilton,ON Canada ( home of the crappy WWE toys ) and these were fresh out of the box and on the shelf. Featuring Roman Reigns,John Cena, The Undertaker and………..HEIDENREICH???????? ( well Brock Lesnar but my god if that isn’t a HEIDENREICH figure then I don’t know Continue Reading...
Read more

Headlies: WWE Creative Has Lots Of Ideas For Karrion Kross

3 Submitted by on Mon, 30 August 2021, 08:00
Boston, MA – WWE CEO Vince McMahon has revealed the Creative has lots of ideas for their latest call-up, Karrion Kross. Since being called up to the main roster, Kross has been without his valet Scarlett and lost to Jeff Hardy, Last week, Kross began wearing a mask and warrior outfit, drawing comparisons to The Sultan and Farooq Asaad. According Continue Reading...
Read more

INDUCTION: Weight Training with the Barbarian – Today the WBF Stands for World Barbarian Federation!

7 Submitted by on Thu, 26 August 2021, 20:00
WBF, 1990 Going to go away from the norm this week – what I am bringing to you is NOT the very worst of wrestling. I know some folks have an issue when I do this, feeling that WrestleCrap should only be reserved for the absolute dirt worst that professional wrestling has attempted to shove down our throats so as Continue Reading...
Read more

Headlies: Legendary Chicago Wrestler Debuts On Rampage

1 Submitted by on Mon, 23 August 2021, 08:00
Chicago, IL – After weeks of gossip, hearsay, and rumors, legendary Chicago wrestler One Man Gang made his debut on AEW: Rampage. The live crowd, already buzzing in anticipation, roared with excitement when the familiar notes of Living Colour’s “Cult Of Personality” began playing. The moment they have been waiting years for had finally come true. After years of retirement, Continue Reading...
Read more

Someone Bought This: WCW can’t even get simple characters right on trading cards

2 Submitted by on Fri, 20 August 2021, 02:00
This is Mr. Wall Street’s WCW trading card. AKA: Irwin R. Schyster. AKA: I.R.S. AKA: Mike Rotunda AKA: Mike Rotundo. Phew… Anyway, let’s take a look at the back of the card which features a little blurb about him: Wait, “his multi-million dollar inheritance”? Uh, but I thought he made all of his money in the stock market? Hence the name Continue Reading...
Read more

Induction – The “Step By Step” Wrestling Episode – This show B.L.O.W.s

24 Submitted by on Thu, 19 August 2021, 20:00
TV sitcom, 1996 Have you ever looked back on things you enjoyed during childhood, or at least things you thought didn’t suck, and been disappointed? For me, a prime example is the ’90s family sitcom Step By Step. Throughout its six seasons on TGIF, it was consistently the second-least funny show on ABC’s Friday night lineup – and that’s only Continue Reading...
Read more

Headlies: The 5th Labor Of Jericho: Don’t Embarrass Yourself

0 Submitted by on Mon, 16 August 2021, 08:00
Odessa, FL – This week, AEW star MJF unleashed his most daunting task for rival Chris Jericho to endure: Don’t embarrass yourself for a full 24 hours. Over the past few weeks, Jericho has had to endure the “Labors Of Jericho” set by MJF. After taking on Shawn Spears, Nick Gage, Juventud Guerrara, and Wardlow, MJF revealed the dastardly plot. Continue Reading...
Read more

Someone Bought This: Ken Patera’s unique wardrobe choice for his WWF Magazine cover

1 Submitted by on Fri, 13 August 2021, 02:00
WWF Magazine: Hey Ken! Good news! We’d like to photograph you for the cover of the upcoming WWF Magazine! Ken: Okay, I’ll do it… but I insist on wearing my 1984 Olympic muscle shirt that shrunk in the wash. WWF Magazine: Okay, I guess we can allow that. Ken: and I want to cut up so it shows my nipples. Continue Reading...
Read more

INDUCTION: Maxivision – Whatcha Gonna Do When Unlicensed Nintendo Games Run Wild On You?

21 Submitted by on Thu, 12 August 2021, 08:00
Infomercial, 1994 Yeah yeah, I know I promised my next induction would be the continuing TNA trials of AJ Styles, but I think everyone reading this will forgive me when I lay down what we’re going to be covering tonight: unlicensed Nintendo games being shilled by Hulk Hogan…on a 1990s infomercial no less! Ain’t no way y’all complainin’ ’bout dat! Continue Reading...
Read more

Headlies: Tony Khan Still Trying To Edit This Week’s ‘Dark’ Episode

2 Submitted by on Mon, 09 August 2021, 08:00
Jacksonville, FL – AEW boss Tony Khan has been working into the late hours, frantically trying to edit this week’s episode of AEW: Dark. Khan volunteered himself to edit the Youtube show this week after a large public outcry followed a disgustingly inappropriate rap from Max Caster. Unfortunately for Khan, the task has taken longer than expected. “I never wanted Continue Reading...
Read more

Someone Bought This: 7-11 and the lazy caricature artist

3 Submitted by on Fri, 06 August 2021, 02:00
In 1985 7-11 put out a series of WWF Slurpee cups including this one featuring Wendi Richter! I know it’s a caricature so it’s supposed to be a little silly and exaggerated, but this really doesn’t look anything like her. Look- this is Wendi Richter: Whoever drew her caricature for the cup… …seems to think she’s an Asian woman with Continue Reading...
Read more

Induction: Natalya vs. The Riott Squad – Featuring Jim “The Table” Neidhart

16 Submitted by on Thu, 05 August 2021, 20:00
WWE, 2018 This week’s induction involves three misfits, one heir to a wrestling dynasty, and a whole lot of exploitation. On one side of this feud, you had Liv Morgan, Sarah Logan, and Ruby Riot(t), a trio who’d been called up out of the blue from NXT as the “Riott Squad” a year earlier. While on the surface, the group Continue Reading...
Read more

Headlies: New Vince McMahon Series Receives NC-17 Rating

1 Submitted by on Mon, 02 August 2021, 08:00
Hollywood, CA – In an unprecedented move, the Motion Picture Association of America has preemptively given the upcoming Vince McMahon scripted series an NC-17 rating. The unprecedented decision has sent shockwaves throughout the wrestling and entertainment world. While still in early development The United States Of America Vs. Vince McMahon has garnered a significant amount of attention from the entertainment Continue Reading...
Read more

Someone Bought This: A toy line with the worst possible name

2 Submitted by on Fri, 30 July 2021, 02:00
In 1997 Jakks-Pacific released a line of WWF statues that were pretty unremarkable except for the fact that they were called… “Heroes Of Wrestling”. Gee, what does that remind you of? Okay, so this toy line came out a year before the terrible independent wrestling show (you can read all about that in The WrestleCrap Archives) but I still thought it was a funny Continue Reading...
Read more

INDUCTION: The Second Labor of AJ Styles – Where “Chain Wrestling” Meets Three Stooges Selling!

19 Submitted by on Thu, 29 July 2021, 20:00
NWA-TNA, 2003 As I write this induction, it’s just hours before what has proved over the last couple of years to be one of my favorite times of the week, that being AEW Dynamite on Wednesday nights.  It is a fun show most of the time and I really look forward to chatting with everyone over on old man social media.  If Continue Reading...
Read more

Headlies: Nick Gage Defeats Chris Jericho In A Dance Competition

1 Submitted by on Mon, 26 July 2021, 08:00
Charlotte, NC – Deathmatch legends Nick Gage defeated Chris Jericho in a dazzling, if not unexpected, fashion this weekend. Instead of pitting the two in combat, AEW star MJF harkened back to his infamous dance routine with Jericho to inflict maximum pain. What Jericho and the world did not know was that the GCW star is a world-class dancer. Gage, Continue Reading...
Read more

Induction: Hulk Hogan’s autobiographies – Have pythons, will (time) travel

30 Submitted by on Thu, 22 July 2021, 20:00
2002, 2009 I first bought Hollywood Hulk Hogan, the Hulkster’s 2002 autobiography, late last year (along with The Rock Says…). Obviously, I was shopping for WrestleCrap induction fodder. But weeks went by, and nothing arrived; my shipment had gotten lost in transit. Naturally, I used my refund to re-order the books, which arrived the next week.  A few weeks later, Continue Reading...
Read more

Headlies: Fans Excited To Finally Boo WWE In Person

5 Submitted by on Mon, 19 July 2021, 08:00
Fort Worth, TX – WWE fans were elated to finally see WWE events live this weekend and boo the product vociferously. Following over a year of pandemic protocols, WWE has opened its doors to the general public for live events. After enduring cinematic matches, arson, zombie attacks, and magic, fans now have the chance to see their favorite WWE Superstars Continue Reading...
Read more

Someone Bought This: The WCW Nitro Grill referee shirt really eats it!

1 Submitted by on Fri, 16 July 2021, 02:00
Bryan over at the WCW Worldwide blog found this WCW Nitro Grill referee shirt amongst other Nitro Grill stuff, and boy oh boy is it ugly! You’d look really stupid wearing it just about anywhere, including a wrestling show. This shirt would only be useful if you want to look like you work at a Footlocker shoe store. And really, Continue Reading...
Read more

Headlies: Malaki Black Begins Eliminating Older AEW Wrestlers

1 Submitted by on Mon, 12 July 2021, 08:00
Gatlin, NE – Newcomer Malaki Black has begun culling All Elite Wrestling’s older roster members in a devious and slightly cultish plot. After his vicious attack against Arn Anderson, the enigmatic Black systematically dismantled Tully Blanchard, Konnan, and Jake “The Snake” Roberts. No older members of the roster have escaped Black’s grasp. On a cross-country trip to promote a new Continue Reading...
Read more

Induction: Money in the Bank 2020 – Leave your brain at the elevator door

20 Submitted by on Thu, 08 July 2021, 20:00
In 2020, WWE’s Money in the Bank event was held without any fans in attendance. Naturally, the WWE Superstars were in no hurry to break their bones doing the usual dangerous high spots in an empty Performance Center. Instead, this match would take place at WWE Headquarters, with both male and female Superstars simultaneously battling to get up to the Continue Reading...
Read more