The Medic

Every masked superhero needs a nemesis that is almost his equal. A man whose nastiness is matched only by the hero’s good nature. After all, how much fun would comics be if the superhero just repeatedly creamed average joes repeatedly over the course of 25 pages? Spider-Man has the evil Green Goblin to cause him grief. Captain America has been stressed out by the Red Skull for over half a century. All those guys are great, but when I think of real heroes, I think of only one man – Web City’s finest, Arachnaman.

Now, as crappy as he was, it would take a masked rival 10 times crappier to put ol’ Webby to the true Wrestlecrap test. True believers, there was only one man suitable, only one man diabolical enough. This week’s JOTW – The Medic.

Most heroes and villains usually have their hokey origin stories explaining how they got their powers and costumes. While Arachnaman aka Brad Armstrong probably gained the proportionate powers (in his own mind) of a second rate spider via toking on his brother Roaddog’s peace pipe, our evil nurse here seems to have similar drug related roots. Decked out in his hideous green scrubs, complete with matching scrub hood to put over his regular mask, this joker looked nothing short of a bizarre experiment gone bad. It appears someone mixed one part boring NBC hospital drama, one part enhancement talent, and one part brown acid and shaboom…. instant crap.

As ugly and sloppy as the sight of this big man wrestling in baggy hospital clothes was, it was even worse when he faced off one on one against the webhead. I’m sure Marvel Comics founder Stan Lee missed seeing this match because if he had, he probably would’ve had a brain aneurysm watching these two masked goofs take a big ol’ dump on the superhero concept that he redefined in the 60’s. After about five minutes of hokey action rivaled only by the live-action Spider-Man show from the 70’s, Arachnaman used the lamest, most anti-climactic pinning combination I’ve ever seen – a abdominal stretch that he turned into a half-assed cradle for the three count.

Thankfully, our two hooded bumblers never faced off again. Soon after, Marvel Comics put the squash on the gimmick infringing Arachnaman. The Medic continued his wrestling malpractice for a little while longer, until finally turning the scrubs in for good in early 1992. Any wrestling fans out there in need of serious medical attention, I can only recommend you go south of the border. It is there where you will find the real Medics, a series of masked wrestlers who held many tag-titles.

Unlike those guys, the WCW Medic’s career was in critical condition from the start.

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