Get a good look, people, this may be what’s replacing WWE on SpikeTV soon. If the rumors are true, the former Nashville Network is in talks to replace HHH and Kane with what is basically GLOW V2.0.
During the wrestling boom of the late 90’s and very early 2000’s, a new promotion emerged on ppv, and what a promotion it was. Imagine a wrestling federation co-booked by Peter North and a 13 year-old boy, and you’re well on your way to understanding what WEW was all about.
For the most part, WEW’s roster was made up of women I’ve never heard of. However, there were a few well-known workers making the rounds. Former TNA star (and current OVW trainee) Alexis Laree for example, pictured at the top of this page.
Hell, they even hired Joel Gertner, which was fitting, given that the first few shows were done in the old ECW Arena. Check him out here with his Joey Styles-lookalike announcing partner, and try to figure out which one looks more likely to be found hanging out at the Blue Oyster Bar:
Even former ECW stars Prodigette (now called Riptide) and Angel the Virgin Princess (with a new name as well, Tara Titanium) showed up:
Now, what makes this whole thing so ludicrous? Oh, don’t even get me started. Not only did we get some of the worst womens wrestling matches this side of Jackie Gayda, we also got to see:
Physically-handicapped manager Special Ed
Midgets!!!
And Rock and Stone Cold clones (The Smoke and Ice Cold Billy Austin). In fact, the most embarassing moments on the show usually involved men. Like when Thai “Killer” Weed’s enforcer/bodyguard attempted to dive off a stack of tables, slipped and missed, in one of the worst botched spots ever.
Add in slutty referees
Britney Spears clones
And a woman named Psycho Bitch who somehow ended up not being my ex-fiancé, even though I’m fairly sure she trademarked that name, and you have a recipe for disaster. Semi-erotic disaster.
Then, of course, there’s the champion, G.I. Ho:
As horrible as this whole thing is, my personal favorite wrestler in WEW has to be Thai “Killer” Weed, who has the gimmick of, yep, you guessed it, a pot head!
Talentless or not, that’s one hell of an outfit. In fact, it gets better from the other side:
Oh! Almost forgot to mention the most outfrigginstanding part of this whole dungheap! The mighty Mae Family! You see, that mass of redneck staring Weed down is none other than Papa Mae, patriarch of the deadliest stable in WEW:
All that’s missing is the banjo.
Now, many of you may be familiar with the DVD sets that WEW has released recently. The first collected four of their shows that took place at the ECW Arena, while volume 2 had the shows take place in a bar. However, be warned, these DVDs are far from uncut. Lots of stuff from the original PPV versions were edited out, which took this stuff from little more than a GLOW knockoff to something more adult.
For instance, there’s the prerequisite topless match between a couple of women I didn’t even bother to catch the names of:
And, at the end of the shows, we are treated to another kind of wrestling entirely, the kind that takes place on a couch or bed, again involving generic fake-boobed “wrestlers”:
And yet, somehow, none of it gets anywhere near as offensive as some of the stuff McMahon has done over the past three or four years. Ok, maybe seeing Papa Mae’s man-tits made me question the existence of any deity, but that’s about as bad as it got.
Seriously, though, when and if this does get a spot on Spike, just remember what you’re missing, cuz it’s obviously going to be watered down.