At times it seems as though the horrific announcing crew of the WWF should have its own wing at Wrestlecrap. With such ‘luminaries’ as Charlie Minn, Rob Bartlett, Lord Alfred Hayes, Sean Mooney, and others, it seems Vinny Mac randomly threw headsets on folks and hoped for the best.
Todd Pettengill was perhaps Vince’s most famous announcing disaster. He was a radio DJ in New York before coming to the WWF, and I’ve gotta believe he must have been a better radio personality than a wrestling announcer. In fact, now that I think about it, he probably fell into line with the “Marty & Bill” characters from the Simpsons; annoying, stereotypical DJ who babbles on about nothing humorous but laughs at himself to help the audience feel that what he does is humorous.
Or something like that.
Maybe that isn’t the proper analogy. He reminded me a lot of the host of some bad afternoon cartoon block. Remember when TV stations would have “Kid’s Clubs” and have some ‘hip’ personality with an earring as the host? That’d be more Todd’s speed.
The point is, he was annoying. VERY annoying. Like fingernails on the chalkboard annoying. He had next to no knowledge of holds or moves, and his ability to sell a storyline was limited by his overacting and goofiness. Plus he had this aura about him that just screamed cheese. Just listen to his promo on Isaac Yankem, DDS.
Anyway, Pettengill was actually given the WWF Saturday morning show (WWF Mania) for a
time in the early 90’s. After falling out of favor with fans, Vince knew that something was needed. So on the Christmas edition, Santa Claus brought him…a personality? A replacement? Come on, folks, this was the early 90’s WWF!
Pettengill’s ‘present’ was Stephanie Wiand. A female version of Pettengill. Yikes. She wasn’t as annoying as Pettengill, as she was more laid back and actually tried to convey a sense of emotion to the storylines. Suffice to say, she failed miserably. Of course, it’s hard to say if that is her fault; after all, how do you make someone care about a race car driving wrestler or Kwang the Ninja?
When Todd opened his present, Steph popped out. Todd immediately
grabbed her and started hugging her like she was a long lost friend. Maybe
she was – I don’t know where Wiand came from, but I am willing to bet that
right now she is hosting an infomercial, extolling the virtues of either
Miracle Gro or some type of cooking appliance, probably made by Ron Popeil.
A great many fans thought Wiand was incredibly ugly as well. I never thought so, though her plain Jane looks were remarkably out of place in the WWF, where the door to the women’s locker room reads “implants only”.