The Warlord

Warlord

Fresh out of a hot feud with the Legion of Doom in the old NWA, the Powers of Pain looked to take the WWF by storm. The combination of the Barbarian and and the Warlord came into the WWF amidst much fanfare and quickly entered into a feud with then tag champs Demolition.

And then, just as quickly, everything fell apart. The Demos and Powers did a weird double turn that made little sense and caused Warlord and Barbarian to more or less vanish from the top of the card. All the heat they had brought in with them seemed to evaporate over night, and Vince was left scrambling with two big musclebound brawlers that brought little more than bulging biceps to the table.

So he did what he always does in these situations, and broke the tandem up. Barbarian apparently won the toss and went with Bobby “the Brain” Heenan. Warlord, on the other hand, got stuck with WrestleCrap’s favorite Jive Soul Bro, the Doctor of Style, Slick.

As if being stuck with the Slickster wasn’t bad enough, the WWF also decided that his look needed updating, so they slapped a shiny silver plate on his face. The mask was quite bizarre – one part Phantom of the Opera, one part Terminator 2. Very bothersome indeed.

More disturbing, though, was the weird wand they gave him. It was a shiny silver staff, with an emblem on the top. On further investigation, the emblem appears to be a “W”, standing for either “Warlord” or “WrestleCrap”. Or maybe it was an “M”, as in “My God, what were they thinking when they gave me this weird stick?” Or perhaps it was an “E”, as in “Exactly what am I supposed to be?” Or it could have been a “3”, as in “3 minutes to hit the commode while this guy stinks up the ring.”

Whatever the case may be, the one thing you had to give the Warlord is that he had a very impressive physique. In fact, some fans found it a little too impressive, and chants of “Steroids! Steroids!” began to fill arenas throughout the country. As Vince was in the midst of being investigated by the feds on charges of steroid distribution, this wasn’t really working in the big lug’s favor. So the Warlord was sent packing, never to be heard from in the big two again.

Still, it could have been worse – after all, the Barbarian started wearing ANTLERS after the Powers of Pain broke up.

But, of course, that is a story for another day.

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