The Mexicools

The Mexicools

Did you know that a huge part of WWE’s, and in particular, Smackdown’s success over the past few years has been due to the hispanic audience they’ve been able to capture. (Observer stat.) This is primarily due to the popularity of Rey Mysterio, of course, so it only made sense the company would attempt to bring in more latino stars to grow that demo even more.

Enter Juventud Guerrera…

…Super Crazy…

…and Psicosis!

Now longer-time fans remembered these guys and their high flying antics from WCW and ECW. Of course, those older fans probably wanted to remember only the matches, and not ‘comedy’ like piñata on a pole matches.

But in WWE, these guys were going to be cool. Not just cool, but MEXICOOL.

And how would they achieve such a lofty goal?

By riding lawnmowers to the ring, of course. And not just any lawnmowers, but the best lawn mowers pesos could buy: that’s right, John, no, wait, scratch that – make that JUAN Deeres!

So yes these very hip young Hispanics made their way to the ring in coveralls riding their yard tractors. Apparently they were originally to be heels, but that didn’t last long.

After all, who could boo a landscaper capable of moonsaults?

(Which I’d assume would come in tremendously handy for those hard-to-reach branches during pruning. A man who can use gardening shears upside down is a man I want doing my hedges~!).

The trio made their *official* PPV debut beating the bWo in a six man match. The most memorable part of this was Richards, Nova & Meanie all riding “Big Wheels” to the ring to mock The Mexicool’s lawnmower entrance.

Oh, and of course Nova’s bandana flying off in mid-match revealing SIMON DEAN underneath, KAYFABE BE DAMNED~!

It was kind of like seeing Batman unmasked as Richard Simmons.

Which actually makes sense now that I think about it. Only a gay man would make Robin prance about in a tiny pair of green scaly underoos.

He’s got BILLIONS, but can’t spring for a pair of slacks? COME ON!

From there, Super Crazy & Regular Psicosis were mostly working as a standard tag team while Juvi or “The Juice” (a nickname I suggested better suited Batista at that point..) wrestled for and won the Cruiserweight title from Nunzio, in a match where heat and fan interest was barred from ringside!

What, WWE didn’t invoke those stipulations? Oh. My bad.

On a side note, I always found it odd that Crazy & Psicosis had names that invoked insanity, yet Juvi did not, and HE was the guy whilst in WCW, who got high on Ex and stripped nude in the hallway of an Australian hotel. My theory was that it was to debunk certain scandalous rumors once and for all that he was in fact a 12 year old girl.

Let’s just hope Shannon Moore doesn’t follow (birthday) suit. (and when you already look like a chick anyway, is rockin’ the name “Shannon” really in your best interests?).

From there, Juvi would reign as Cruiserweight Champion, but soon rumors began circulating that he started getting a chip on his shoulder, or in honor of his Mexican heritage, a tortilla.

Apparently, the dude started coming up with outlandish ideas for himself to WWE Creative, but they were all rejected. And not just because the guy had a vocabulary that made Great Khali sound like fucking John Houseman and no one knew just what the hell he was ever saying. Not even.

After all that “heat”, he eventually lost the title to man who at least exhibited the complete opposite documented drug and attitude problems…umm, Kid Kash? Holy shit.

He was then released. The Juice was indeed loose. There was no ecstasy in the completely legitimate country of Mexicool that day. There may have been ecstasy in his duffle bag, however. 🙂

As for the other Mexicools, Crazy & Psicosis, they continued teaming and feuded with MNM. My suggestion that Crazy & Psicosis call themselves Smarties to begin an all-out war of delicious hard-shelled chocolate candy obviously fell on deaf ears.

Around June of 2006, Psicosis spontaneously turned heel on Crazy and then…disappeared the next week completely after doing a JOB for Crazy… and for only one third of what an American gets paid! I’ll be here all week, ladies & gentlemen! Psi remained on WWE payroll officially until November where he was *officially released* after being charged with Grand Theft Auto in Mexico. If only he was able to toggle through a slew of interchangeable weapons or get the hot car to the Pay & Spray this may have all been avoided. Ahem.

On a side note, my theory was that the only reason he got caught at all was, because, really, how fast can a get-away mower really go? I mean, really?

And today, an increasingly fat Super Crazy (Super Hungry?) can be not seen every week on Sunday Night Heat, where he forms a heterosexual life-partnership with Hacksaw Jim Duggan. It’s USA and You, Esse!, making beautiful music together.

And a better partnership I cannot recall. I mean, wasn’t Jim Duggan a coverall wearing custodian in his last days in WCW? And yet, here he is, teaming with another coverall wearing landscaper? Some partnerships just make sense.

Even if you can’t really unclog a commode properly with a two by four.

And yeah, that’s all I can remember about Mexicools. Other than apparently it’s not a real country.

Next thing you know, I’ll be re-routed when I take my planned vacation to Parts Unknown next month. Maybe I’ll just go to Dudleyville instead.

I hear the weather’s nicer there this time of year.

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