The Barber Shop

The Barber Shop

So I get this email this week:

“I have noticed something. You say your site makes fun of the gimmicks, not the wrestlers, but you seem to enjoy Ed Leslie bashing. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, per se … just seems a bit hypocritical.”

Yep, it sure is. Your point?

You can call him the Zodiac, the Booty Man, the Man withouy a Face, the Disciple. You can call him the barber, the baker, or the candlestick maker.

At the end of the day, we all must agree – Ed Leslie just plain sucks.

And it wasn’t much different in the early 90’s WWF, when he was in the midst of the most successful period in his career. He was known as Brutus “The Barber” Beefcake, and his popularity was at an all-time high. He was so popular, in fact, that the WWF decided to reward him by giving him his own Piper’s Pit style talk show, The Barber Shop.

The problem was, of course, that in spite of being incredibly over, his mic skills were subpar. He would have guests on, stumble through interviews, and basically look like a candy stipe nitwit.
On at least one occasion, though, WWF fans had the misfortune to actually watch as Beefcake gave out free grooming tips!

Now take one look at the image to your right – would you trust HIM to give you style advice?

Well this poor sap did. So buckle yourselves in, gang, we’re in for a guffaw-a-plenty ride!

First off, Beefer decided to give the fella a facial using mud from the Dead Sea. How do we know this? Why, cuz he wrote it right on the side of his plastic pail!

He covered the guy’s face entirely in mud, and went on to the next step of the treatment.

It’s probably fortunate the guy couldn’t see, because…

Beefer planned to give him a special “protein treatment”. Now that sounds kinda gay to me, but then again, people have accused me of being a homophobe (which is idiotic, as I have several gay friends).

Tell ya what – YOU listen to the audio and be the judge .But when Brutus Beefcake starts talking about putting “protein into your end”…

Oh wait! Silly me, he was talking about cracking an egg on the guys skull.

Maybe I am a homophobe after all!

This whole idiotic segment wraps up with Beefcake grabbing a snow blower…
…and shoving it in a rhythmic fashion into the guy’s face.

Then again, maybe I’m NOT a homophobe.

Regardless, this type of crap was par for the course on the Barber Shop. Unfunny skits, bad interviews, and Brutus Beefcake. Folks, it just doesn’t get a whole lot worse than that.

In fact, the only worthwhile angle to ever come out of the Barber Shop was the break up of the Rockers, when Shawn Michaels superkicked Marty Jannetty through the Barber Shop window.

Now if he only would have done the same to Beefcake.

Brutus Beefcake: “It’s very important that you have the proper protein treatment, to get the proper shine. But you know, I’m not real crazy about these commercial brands. I prefer the old favorite, the old standby, the good ol protein…oops…right here…oh yeah….oh yeah…very important to massage that protein, making sure to get plenty into the ends…”

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