T & A

T & A

I don’t think it’s any great shock to longtime Crappers that I am a hopeless devotee of the goddess known as Trish Stratus. Not only is she absolutely smokin’ hot, she has developed into a fantastic in-ring competitor, and a pretty damn good heel to boot. In fact, if you asked me why I still tune into Raw week after week, odds are that Trishy baby would be right up at the top of the list.

But even my beloved has delved into the world of Crap. Yes, as much as it pains me to induct her into the annals of WrestleCrap, this is sadly something I must do, lest I be accused of bias by you, my fellow Crappers.

I remember before Trish ever debuted, a buddy of mine emailed me shots of some of her swimsuit layouts. To be honest, although I thought she was attractive, I didn’t think she was the end all-be all that my pal was making her out to be. She was apparently a rather famous model, but I had never even heard of her. Apparently, I was the only one, though, as the WWF introduced her to fans as “Trish Stratus, world famous Canadian Fitness model.” Now there’s a gimmick.

Again, as much as I hate to rag on the poor gal, she looked like a total doofus when she first arrived. As if her pastel cowboy hats weren’t horrific enough, she also had a hair do I hadn’t seen the likes of since the heyday of the Swiss Miss cocoa girl.

Giddyup, Marshmallow!

As if her bizarre head grooming wasn’t bad enough, she spent the first few weeks of her WWF existence doing nothing more than scouting talent. Thankfully, it didn’t take long before she latched on to the two men she thought would propel her to the top:

So not only was she slightly weird looking, she was also an idiot to boot. After all, who in their right mind would think that TEST AND ALBERT were the keys to a superstar managerial career? Test hadn’t done anything since being squashed by Triple H following the near marriage to Steph that should have spring boarded his career, and Albert was, well, Albert.

Obviously, forcing me to watch matches featuring these two wasn’t exactly scoring big points for Trish with me at the time. On top of that, the poor girl was atrocious on the mic during her initial appearances. To be fair, though, it’s hard to say whether that had to do with appearing before an audience that large or appearing with the mound of fur named after a pierced weiner (and yes, kids, that’s what a “Prince Albert” is).

Although we were unable to find audio from her early days (what, you think I keep old copies of Sunday Night Heat laying around?!), thanks to the wonders of modern technology we have been able to faithfully recreate her debut speech.

Yes, they were dubbed “T&A.” Get it?! You think it refers to Tits & Ass (hopefully Trish’s, and not Albert’s), but really, the name is taken from the first letter of each guy’s name. How clever.

I’m not saying the guy in the crowd holding up a T&A sign is a total idiot loser, but…oh wait, I guess I am.

Thankfully, it was apparent to WWF management that being bundled with Test and Albert was doing nothing to help Trish’s fledgling career. She ditched not only T&A, but also her cowboy hats and the hair, and has worked really hard to become not only excellent in the ring, but also a character that the crowd really loves to see.

And for that, I forgive her.

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