Steve McMichael

Steve McMichael

We were half tempted to just post sound bites for this page, but we will torture ourselves and give some explanation behind the induction of Steve McMichael.

McMichael was a football player, for among other teams, the Chicago Bears. He was a good player. Apparently, someone thought that would make him a good pro wrestling commentator, and later a wrestler.

Nothing could be further from the truth. And as bad a wrestler as he was, he was MUCH MUCH worse on the stick.

McMichael was first introduced to the sport shortly before WrestleMania XI, when gridiron colleague Lawrence Taylor took on Bam Bam Bigelow in a grudge match. He even did color commentary with Vince McMahon on WWF Monday Night Raw. Apparently, after Vince took one listen to the big oaf, he decided to never put a headset on the guy again.

But that didn’t deter Eric Bischoff from making him part of the original three-man Nitro commentary team, along with Bischoff and Bobby Heenan. The first Nitro was known for many things (the defection of Lex Luger to WCW chief among them), but one thing it was not known for was great commentary. (Note to readers: if anyone can translate this joke/ saying /whatever, please drop us a line. It is beyond our comprehension.)

You can almost hear Heenan groan as he was forced to fend off the endless and witless barrage of insults from Mongo. Don’t write us to let us know we included the classic “Bobby the Stain” twice on the soundbite – there were 40 of those references from the Nitro broadcast, and we wanted to let you get a feel for it. We wanted you, the reader, to know what it feels like to be tortured. Chinese water torture? HA! You can laugh at that now. You’ve lived through a session of “Mongo-Speak.”

He would also bring a small Chihuahua with him to ringside, and dress him in funny outfits. Yeesh.

Anyway, after McMichael repeatedly failed to pronounce even simple words like “athletes” correctly, he was fired.

Oh no, wait, this is WCW! I mean, he was REWARDED with a stint in the Four Horsemen! Paul Roma must be turning in his grave.

The biggest contribution McMichael ever made to wrestling was the introduction of his wife, Deborah. Yep – Deborah of “Puppies” fame. She promptly divorced the chump, went to the WWF, and is now headed to the alter with “Stone Cold” Steve Austin.

In the car industry, that’s called “trading up.”

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