Stephanie McMahon In Undercover Boss

Stephanie McMahon

There are no original ideas in reality television.

Wife Swap? Ripped off from Chappelle’s Show.

The Amazing Race? Heavily influenced by Around the World in 80 Days.

And Undercover Boss? Lifted directly from the “Blue Collar Drummond” episode of Diff’rent Strokes.

On paper, the idea of an Undercover Boss episode for WWE sounds fascinating: imagine Stephanie McMahon getting the candid opinions of WWE’s contracted talent about the direction of their characters and careers, or the hardships of wrestling 200 shows a year and traveling constantly on their own dime. Then, WWE changes its policies to address the important but rarely-expressed concerns of its employees and contractors.

But before I make the show sound too interesting, I must remind you that this is CELEBRITY Undercover Boss, where famous millionaires meet inspiring people and learn how to be even more wonderful than they already are.

The show’s editors were tasked with the impossible mission of finding footage of Stephanie McMahon being cheered, so they dug up some 15-year-old footage back from when WWE was broadcast in fullscreen and the Smackdown set had the giant fist. They also spliced in some recent, unrelated WrestleMania 32 footage, too.

Stephanie is a great philanthropist – after all, philanthropy is the way brands r going 2 win. Her problem, she tells us, is that she is always trying to hear the very inspiring stories of inspiring people inspired by WWE, but fears that some people are too intimidated by her to share them. And she’ll be damned if she gets scooped by Upworthy!

To that point, McMahon masquerades as a journalist, much like Jonathan Coachman did between stints in WWE.

Portraying a blogger making a documentary about WWE to see what the fuss is all about, Steph assumes the name Samantha Miles, or “Sam” for short.

If this ends up like the last time WWE put a wig on someone and called them a name like that, we’re in for an interesting night to say the least.

Frankly, I already don’t recognize Stephanie, even before she puts on her disguise, what with her mentions of “wrestling”, “professional wrestlers”, and “fans”.

Nonetheless, St. Stephanie of Greenwich dons a blonde wig to hide her halo…

…and puts on a real gnarly honker…

…the logic being that, with a different color hair and a new nose, no one would recognize her.

Stephanie now looks like a pre-makeover Toula Portokalos.

Not only does the boss lady alter her appearance to avoid detection, she also alters her voice, doing an absolutely spot-on impression of someone attempting a Southern accent.

Of course, there are still two BIG give-aways that this is just Steph in disguise. I of course mean the distinctive timbre of her voice

…and her large boobs. What, you didn’t think I’d go this whole induction without mention her big ol’ voice, did you?

For the first round of her undercover smackdown (not my words)…

…Stephanie meets an aspiring (and in-spiring) wrestler named Kenny Marquez (better known as Jake Atlas).

As a kid, Kenny was both the bully and the bullied, much like Nia Jax in WWE.

The reason he bullied others? He was ashamed growing up that he was secretly gay.

Now, what kind of people would make someone feel ashamed of that?

Stephanie would love to help Kenny Marquez achieve his dream of being the first openly gay WWE champion… but not until after her dad finally gets Roman Reigns over huge, of course.

Next, McMahon visits a freelance wrestling photographer who would love to work for WWE.

A navy veteran, Steve Wright lost his leg and four fingers in an accident…

…and now occasionally takes photos at ringside at WWE events, including WrestleMania 30, where he snapped the famous picture of Daniel Bryan and Connor Michalek. WWE just happens to have a charity called Connor’s Cure that I’m sure Stephanie was surprised she’d get to discuss on this episode.

Lastly, Steph visits a boy named Enzo, a WWE superfan and cancer survivor who is doing an auction for Connor’s Cure, the charity that brings together the two exciting worlds of WWE and pediatric cancer.

Little Enzo ends up selling a Jinder shirt for $100. This kid doesn’t need charity, he needs a job in marketing!

To wrap the show up, Stephanie accompanies her inspiring new friends on a tour of WWE’s Performance Center, where The Big Show brings his undercover boss into the ring and “accidentally” knocks her over.

His and Jeff Hardy’s acting alone makes it pretty obvious that they’re in on the stunt…

…but the idea that Big Show doesn’t recognize the same little girl he had known since she was twelve years old defies all suspension of disbelief.

Brushing herself, Steph made the big reveal, showing her friends that she was actually their boss!

Well, not boss, as none of the people Stephanie met were actual WWE employees or even independent contractors.

McMahon then meets with each of the featured guests personally and helps make their dreams come true. In an amazing coincidence, all three guests on the show have a connection to three charitable causes WWE is constantly promoting!

For Kenny, she gives 25 grand for a down payment on a house and makes him an ambassador for WWE’s B.A. STAR anti-bullying campaign.

Something tells me he won’t be spreading the message of tolerance and respect in Riyadh for this November’s Crown Jewel event in Saudi Arabia.

For Steve, she grants him 10 grand for new equipment and a photography gig at Tribute to the Troops, which WWE puts on each year as a tribute to the troops every year annually (for the troops).

Finally, for Enzo, she fires Enzo Amore so the little boy can be the one and only Enzo in WWE. Alright, now we’re talkin!

Actually, she gives the family 25 grand to pay off medical bills and gives Enzo 12 cases of WWE figures that he can auction off (or use in a really bitchin’ Royal Rumble). And to top it all off, Stephanie donates 5 grand to Connor’s Cure.

That’s right, come to Mama Bear.

Okay, so this episode ended up being nothing more than a commercial for Stephanie McMahon and WWE’s charitable work, but it’s not like the Chief Brand Officer is doing all this do-goodery as a marketing ploy just to improve WWE’s image and drum up business, right?

r u kidding me?

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