A few weeks ago, I chronicled the poorly-received run of Slam Master J, son of Terry Gordy turned hip-hop aficionado.

Terry Gordy, Jr. wasn’t the only son of a Memphis wrestling legend to reinvent himself in such a way, though.

Of course there was Brian Christopher, son of Jerry Lawler, who re-christened himself, “Grandmaster Sexay” as part of Too Cool…

…but before him there was Jamie Dundee, son of Bill Dundee, who took on a rapping persona and joined up with Kelly Wolfe.

You’ll recall the rapping duo of JC Ice and Wolfie D from their run with the original Nation of Domination…

…but their history as a team dates back to 1993. As fifteen-time tag team champions in the USWA, they were a big deal in Memphis and certainly not comedic fodder….

…not until they showed up in the WWF, that is.

In the mid-90s, the USWA had a working relationship with the WWF as a sort of feeder system, developing future stars such as The Rock and Phantasio before they made their debuts on the big stage.

One October in 1995 (the only one, come to think of it), PG-13 got their chance to shine on Monday Night Raw. Unfortunately, Vince McMahon appeared dead-set on making the top team in his developmental territory look like complete doofuses…

…if you can imagine such a thing.

The team first appeared on the October 2nd edition of Raw, carrying either hubcaps or a deluxe version of Simon, and entering to Men on a Mission’s music. The audience in Grand Rapids, Michigan was certainly at a loss…

…as was Vince, who depended on Jerry Lawler to tell him who the hell these goofs were.

Jerry Lawler was a big fan of all things PG-13, especially because he and his girlfriend could go into the movie separately.

“These guys are called PG-13”, explained Lawler. “That’s not a rating, that’s a tag team!

“Oh really?” asked an incredulous McMahon before audibly trying to wrap his head around the names “JC Ice” and “Wolfie D”.

Ice then rapped while doing his best not to let that pesky rhythm get in the way.

“We ain’t playin’ no games /
so you better beware /
You don’t like us? So what! /
We really don’t care!”

“Is that right?” chimed in McMahon.

Not helping matters was the fact that the team’s jobber opponents were noticeably taller and heavier than the USWA Tag Team Champions.

In an inset promo, PG-13 challenged the WWF Tag Team Champions, vowing to “shock the world” and win the titles.

That kind of verbiage has typically not boded well for wrestlers making their debuts.

PG-13’s debut was anything but typical, though. After all, it’s not every day that the jobbers get a hot tag in a squash match, which is what happened when Sonny Rogers tagged in Al Brown. Even rarer is for a company to pipe in cheers for said jobbers in post-production.

Vince McMahon remarked in passing that PG-13 probably wouldn’t be on Raw again if they lost.

McMahon was, however, impressed with JC Ice’s dance moves…

…which he may have picked up watching Mister Rogers on WKNO Channel 10.

Wolfie D hit something resembling a bulldog from the top rope on Brown…

…but the jobber kicked out!

“Look at that!” chided Vince. “They can’t put Al Brown down!”

PG-13 did eventually put away the enhancement talents…

…only for Vince McMahon to immediately segue to a telephone poll on the OJ verdict.

At the same TV taping, PG-13 wrestled once again, this time challenging the Smoking Gunns for the WWF tag team titles.

Now, between the time the match was taped and the time it aired, PG-13 had already wrestled the Gunns in Memphis for USWA, nearly winning their WWF titles at several moments…

…but always being foiled by the interference of Harvey Wippleman and Tekno Team 2000. If PG-13 could make such an impressive showing in their first title shot, the logic on USWA went, surely their second time around they could capture the gold for Memphis.

Instead, the Gunns wasted no time making PG-13 look like total dweebs. The match kicked off with Wolfie D trying in vain to hip toss Billy Gunn, drawing attention to the fact that each Smoking Gunn outweighed each PG-6.5 by at least 75 pounds.

The Gunns played pinball with the USWA tag team champions…

…(which they found more fun than Pogs).

But let’s not blame this all on the Gunns; PG-13 gladly made themselves look like chumps, too…

…stumbling over each other doing nonsensical spots like this…

…and ill-timed dance breaks like this.

These were not exactly, as Vince McMahon noted, very special maneuvers.

Jerry Lawler tried to rationalize the humiliation of his territory’s top team, claiming their bumbling was actually strategy, but by the end of the match, even the King was making digs at his own tag team champions.

Victory seemed inevitable for the Gunns after hitting the Sidewinder, but JC Ice was waiting in the wings to make the save…

…which did not end up making a whole lot of difference.

PG-13 would resurface in the Federation a year later as part of the Nation of Domination, but would wrestle only one match during their tenure…

…getting sacrificed to the LOD in their very last appearance. They wouldn’t even get invited back to the Nation after Faarooq reformed the group as an all-black faction.

Apparently, the whole time, PG-13 were white.

Discuss This Crap!