Few things are in wrestling are as polarizing as the cinematic match, a genre popularized by Matt Hardy in 2016 and necessitated by Covid in 2020.
On one end of the spectrum, there’s the Hardy-style cinematic match, with its supernatural absurdities and goofy humor. Many consider the Broken Universe so-bad-it’s-good, while others don’t go quite so far. But even if the Matt’s antics at the Hardy Compound aren’t your cup of tea, you still have to admit he put a lot of thought into them.
On the other end of the spectrum, there’s the Boneyard-style cinematic match, basically an extended fight scene from an action movie. Such matches, like standard bouts, let the wrestlers’ bodies tell the story.
Then there’s the Mint Julep match, which is neither funny nor action-packed, neither creative nor well-choreographed.
While WWE has had its champions compete in silliness like the House of Horrors or the Swamp Fight…
…before 2025, no major wrestling company had ever booked its world champion in such a kayfabe-bending, reality-defying match. And, as of this writing, they still haven’t.
But the NWA did, booking champion Thom Latimer to defend his title against Aron Stevens.
Stevens was better known as WWE’s Damien Sandow, the intellectual savior of the masses.
But for years, he has acted primarily as a manager in NWA, masterminding such concepts as the Knights of the Round Table match, a tables match where the table has to be round. More importantly, he has been nowhere near title contention.
His opponent, Thom Latimer, was better known as Bram…
…and for legal reasons, that’s all I’ll say.
While Stevens was certainly entertaining as a modern-day Genius, and later Miz’s stunt double, could he carry a twenty-minute cinematic match? That’s what Billy Corgan was banking on when he booked the Mint Julep match.
And why was it called a Mint Julep match? Near as I can figure, it’s because Stevens had attended the Kentucky Derby earlier that month.
It was filmed not in Kentucky, but in Florida, and it’s supposed be Stevens’s home, which is supposed to be in Malibu. And trust me, once you see inside the house, you’d be a fool to accept any drink Aron offers you.
The champion, arriving at his opponent’s residence to defend Harley Race’s title, stares at the house like The Dude…
…bewildered by the incongruous “spooky” decorations, flashing lights, and amusement park rides. Why does Aron Stevens have Halloween stuff up in May?
Or why, for that matter, does he have leopard-print decor, a striрper pole and male striрper in his living room?
The real answer is that this isn’t his house at all, but the Sausage Castle (I googled it so you don’t have to)…
…an 80-acre estate and “party house” for lowlifes and scumbags alike.
But because this is supposed to be his own house, the audience assumes Stevens is a sеxual dеviant in real life—and there’s little if anything in this match to disabuse them of that notion.
Thom Latimer tells another striрper, a woman this time, that he’s looking for Aron Stevens. “Never heard of him”, she replies frankly.
Bear in mind, when Tony Little brought up the mere name Lanny Poffo on a 2002 informercial, his co-host not only recognized it, but correctly linked him to his WWF gimmick from the 80s.
Meanwhile, Aron’s own live-in striрper doesn’t even know who he is. This is how you know Damien Sandow failed as his generation’s version of The Genius.
Stevens shows up, rambles an intro that somehow survives the cutting room, and invites Latimer to tour his house.
Some house guest bangs a gong…
…and it’s time to get philosophical. Thom needs to find happiness, says Aron, who has “one more thing” to show him.
Along the way, a payphone rings five times while both men motion to each other to answer it. It’s Thom’s mum, who speaks in an incomprehensible language and is immediately disconnected. Someone’s been prompting ChatGPT for new Twin Peaks scripts, I see.
The thing Stevens really needed to show Latimer is his meditation room. Invoking both men’s ancestors, Aron prepares Thom for what he generously calls their “final battle”. Mind you, they haven’t wrestled each other in four years, and never one-on-one, but it’s good to know they won’t do it again after this.
Stevens then warns (or entices) him: “Anything could happen. Anything’s possible”. Anything, you say?
So now it’s time for the Mint Julep match to begin…
…right after this additional meditation session. Putting the “Om” in “Om my God, this segment sucks”, Stevens puts on a thirty-second impression of a vіbrator.
Gong!
Now it’s time for both men to go on a lengthy walk. Latimer leers skeptically at Stevens…
…who plays coy and looks about five seconds from telling Thom he could make him a star if he’d do just one thing for him.
Seven and a half minutes into the segment, Stevens sucker-punches Latimer…
…and unleashes his karate offense.
I’ve seen more convincing strikes on Fawlty Towers.
According to Cagematch’s timekeepers, the Mint Julep match is now officially underway.
Taking a break from the truly intense action, Stevens asks, “What is combat without a little bit of fun?” By this point, we’ve had thirty seconds of the former and zero seconds of the latter.
He then forces Thom onto a carnival ride with him, then acknowledges, “I probably should have asked if you wanted to go for a ride”. Consent is important at the Sausage Castle.
Latimer elbows Stevens, roughs him up by the railing, and looks to call it a night.
Instead, they brawl into a haunted-looking house…
…which is full of vagabonds and laundry.
Pushing the homoeroticism to its limit, Thom lies down in bed with Aron and asks him how it feels.
Thom beats up Aron in front of assorted freaks…
…and this one guy filming on his phone who accidentally stood in a shot.
Again, I’ve seen better selling on Fawlty Towers.
Two men in black masks, who are not part of the sеx dungeon motif but an actual NWA tag team, then drag Thom away and laugh maniacally.
Dizzy, Thom walks through a door and finds himself in a tag team title match, facing the SlimeBallz from Slimeball City.
Dream sequence or not (and it’s not clear if it is), this is apparently the name of a real team in the NWA.
Thom’s partner? Carson Bartholomew Drake. Unbelievable!
Latimer’s team is managed by Aron Stevens himself and features—13 minutes in—the first wrestling moves of the entire segment.
Latimer then tags out to his partner, who helpfully notes, “My dad is Ricky Morton!” …
…before putting his opponent in a wristlock.
Thom, as if shaking off the effects of a roofie, tags back in…
…puts on another wristlock, and tags right back out.
Now the legal man again (thanks to some implied fast-forwarding), Thom delivers punches to his SlimeBall opponent.
Finally, Stevens punches out Latimer…
…who wakes up to an EC3 pep talk.
“When you want to take the island,” says EC3, “You have to burn the boat”. I’m pretty sure that’s about burning your own boat, not your opponent’s pirate ship play set.
Aron calls him an unworthy seaman, then sings a sea shanty, so Thom says he’s going to kill him. If you haven’t noticed, the tone is all over the place in the Mint Julep match.
With cinematic stock music and a chorus of unseen pirates cheering him on, Stevens delivers a series of karate chops…
…then snaps the neck of Latimer, who flops around. “I am the master of my domain!” declares Stevens, despite this whole Mint Julep match being a twenty-minute wаnk-fest.
Just then, some little guy sneaks between his legs and punches him in the groin. I can’t even tell you who this little sprite even is, as no one who actually watches NWA has bothered to recap this match.
In exchange for the nut-shot, he demands a big favor from Latimer, who instead punches him off the ship.
Latimer punches some other guy in the shadows, then throws Stevens off the boat in slow motion.
Latimer then applies the crossface, the first wrestling move exchanged between champion and challenger, to win by tapout.
There were actually more gong hits in this segment than wrestling moves.
“Well that’s one way to do it”, says EC3—a confusing, unfunny punchline to a setup we’ve already forgotten.
Actually, there’s one more, much funnier punchline: the video closes with the same NWA logo from Lou Thesz’s day.
In the end, not only did the Mint Julep match have no mint juleps, it wasn’t even a match—it was a boring fever dream.