Mae Young

Mae Young

Mae Young…the name alone strikes fear in the most hardened of wrestling marks. In fact, it was just this fear that kept us from profiling her earlier in the annals of Wrestlecrap.

You see, since we launched Wrestlecrap, it seems every other email has asked us, “Where’s Mae Young?” and “When are you going to post Mae Young?” The public outcry was certainly there, but our fear both for the Wrestlecrap staff and wrestling fans as a collective was there as well.

We feared that putting her on these pages would open Pandora’s Box, and she would come back to the WWF. Think we’re kidding? Look at the Demon. We did a profile on him because he had been off WCW television for a while. As soon as we posted him, voila – he’s back in WCW, much to the pain and agony of all.

So it is with much trepidation that we induct Mae Young.

Just remember – if she comes back, we are placing the blame squarely on you, the reader.

A bit of background.

Mae began to show up on WWF TV with the Fabulous Moolah, and got into it with Jeff Jarrett, who at the time had a “He Man, Woman Hater” gimmick. But ol’ Double J showed himself to be one of the smartest guys in wrestling by leaving the WWF before becoming embroiled in a feud with the elderly twosome.

And so Mae was gone as well….or so we hoped.

The next time we saw Mae was at Stephanie McMahon’s bachelorette party where she got completely sloshed, thus establishing her character as a crazy old horny drunk woman.

That was bad, but it was kind of funny. Sort of. Well, maybe it wasn’t funny at all, but it was a hell of a lot better than what was to come, and it started at the 2000 Ms. Royal Rumble Swimsuit competition.

First of all, just look at the potential of this swimsuit contest. We had Terri (pictured above) in a flesh colored little number that left little to the imagination.

We had Miss Kitty show up in a Bubble Wrap Bikini, which is still one of Merle’s favorite moments in the entire history of pro wrestling.

Heck, we even had Miss Jacqueline doing a dance that would make women at strip clubs all across the country blush!

What could possibly go wrong?!

You guessed it!

Out struts Mae Young in all her glory.

You can bet that scarf was never used again!

Now she didn’t REALLY say something about showing her “puppies”, did she?!

Oh you bet she did!

Thankfully, WWF censors were there to save us from such a sight.

Well, almost. She was able to expose herself much to the sheer horror of everyone viewing.

Of course, we later found out that she didn’t REALLY expose herself, and that the “puppies” we saw were just makeup by the same people who worked on “There’s Something About Mary.”

Whatever. I’m sure the Wrestlecrap staff aren’t the only ones that still have nightmares about it.

Not disgusting enough for you?

Well, she also decided that she needed to have a baby with her lover, “Sexual Chocolate” Mark Henry!

Of course, had anyone actually looked into it, they would have realized that a 72 year old woman couldn’t have a baby. Mae herself even confirmed that it wasn’t possible!

As if the thought of Mae Young being on the rag wasn’t enough to turn us all celibate, the WWF decided it would be fun to let us see the actual birth.

Gerry Brisco had a sympathy hurl for all of us watching the fiasco at home.

Was it a boy?

Was it a girl?

No, silly – it was a HAND!

Why no, it didn’t make any sense. But how else would you conclude an angle with an elderly woman being pregnant with her nymphomaniacal young black lover?

Shortly after all this happened, Mark Henry got shipped down to Ohio Valley for more training. Mae Young hasn’t been seen since.

I wish no ill will towards Mark Henry, but if his absence means Mae Young is gone too, well, I hope he never makes out of Jim Cornette’s farm system.

Discuss This Crap!