|The WWE departure of my beloved Trish Stratus (or “Patty”, as she likes me to call her) has left my Monday night viewing with a gaping hole. |
You know, I don’t think I could have phrased that more poorly if I tried.
What I was trying to say is that since I loved Trish so much…well, since she left, Mondays just ain’t been the same. She was a great worker, but more than that, she brought a fun sexiness to the business that I really enjoyed. She was my all-time favorite woman in wrestling.
Key word there: “was.”
Patty, I hate to push you aside, but there’s a woman in WWE right now that has taken your crown – and my heart. In fact, I dare say that I look more forward to seeing her than ANYONE in WWE right now, male or female. It’s not that she’s hottest woman ever; both Trish and Sunny (my other long-time fave) would smoke her in the looks department. It’s not that she’s the greatest worker ever; in fact, some of her matches are, well, not so good.
No, I love my new squeeze because she does something that few folks in any company do these days: she makes wrestling fun.
And I’m talking about this woman:
I bet you have no idea who that is, do you? I’d ask you to guess, but since what you are reading are just white pixels on a black pixel background with no response capabilities, we’d both be waiting for a long time for you to answer and me to respond. So let me cut to the chase:
It’s Jillian Hall.
Yes, as in this Jillian Hall.
Now while I would usually mock someone for having QUITE that much work done, I can’t with Jillian. I can’t because I believe her heart is in the right place. From all accounts, she’s a girl who wanted to be a wrestler, wanted to work for WWE, and was willing to do pretty much anything to get there. When someone has that kind of passion, well…it’s hard for me to mock them.
That’s actually probably a lie, because I do it all the time. But I won’t this time because I think she’s awesome, so she gets a free pass from me. Besides, it’s very obvious that Jillian doesn’t take herself too seriously. And I am always huge fans of folks like that, especially when they are so dang entertaining.
And make no mistake about it – I love Jillian’s horrible singing schtick. Love it love it LOVE IT. It’s great because not only is it funny, but people look like they are ready to lynch her. It doesn’t matter who WWE would put in the ring against her – they’re going to be the babyface. Give Jillian a mic, let her croon a few bars, and you could have Hitler goose-step down to the ring and he’d be cheered.
When you think about it, having a character of being horrible at anything should be the death of any performer. Seriously, think of all the clumsy guys we’ve seen, the “losing streak” angles. They NEVER get over. I dare say that Miss Hall has bucked that trend, because she is insanely over.
At least with me.
What’s even more amazing? They stuck her with this persona after bringing her in with a gimmick that was so dumb, so one-dimensional that I’m shocked she didn’t run right back out the door. Because before she had a horrible voice, she was given the gimmick that she was horrifically deformed.
Well, actually, she just had a mole.
At least I THINK it was a mole.
And thankfully, that was the end of Jillian Hall, Mole Girl.
Even more thankfully, she would soon show up singing and dancin’ Britney-style.
So sorry, Trish. You know I love you and that you will forever hold a special place in my heart. But you’ve been supplanted…by the greatest thing since sliced bread.