As the final weeks and days of 2009 counted down, TNA Wrestling found themselves in an odd position. They’d announced to the world that, starting in the new year, Hulk Hogan would be joining the company not only to bring new eyes to the promotion but to take it in a new direction. Problem was, there were still two months until that would happen.
In the meantime, they were in a holding pattern. Granted, this holding pattern produced some fine wrestling, like Nigel McGuinness vs. Kurt Angle, but it was hard to get invested in any new developments when management might undo everything in January.
Inexplicably, one of TNA’s last orders of business before handing over the reins to Hogan (and Eric Bischoff) was to bury Jay Lethal for no reason. Thus was born the Black Machismo Invitational, where Jay went one-on-one with whatever old-timer was in the Orlando area that week.
Supposedly, Jay’s opponent would be some kind of wrestling legend…
…and sure enough, out waddled Jim Neidhart, already sweating by the time he hit the ring…
…and looking like he’d spent all day in catering stuffing himself.
Anvil soon passed his first test: staying upright for the first twenty seconds of the match. Right on cue, fans chanted “You still got it”, though I don’t know what “it” was. I’ll be generous and say his goatee.
The announcers noted that no one ever expected to see Jim Neidhart in the Impact Zone but, as Mike Tenay explained, “It’s all about change here in TNA”.
After 90 seconds and a few bumps (not all of them intentional)…
…Anvil flattened Jay Lethal with a powerslam to win his first and only TNA match.
Lethal’s Black Machismo Invitational was not off to a great start. Taz, rubbing it in as to how over the hill his first opponent was, wondered who’d be next: “One of the Executioners? Mil Máscaras? José Estrada? Angelo Mosca?”
Machismo had other guesses at the next month’s Invitational: The Red Rooster, Rick Martel, the One Man Gang….
So not only did Lethal not pick his opponents, he didn’t even know who they’d be? What the hell kind of invitational was this?
Regardless, Jay Lethal was ready tonight, even though Anvil had pulled a fast one last month. For the record, Jim Neidhart didn’t pull a fast anything.
As it turned out, his mystery opponent was Tatanka. Unlike Jim Neidhart, the Native American weighed nearly the same as he did in his WWF days.
“Look at Tatanka fly here!” said Taz, before correcting himself. “Well, not really fly, but look at him go”.
Still, Tatanka (or Tatonker, as Taz called him) was much more agile than Jay Lethal’s first opponent, but that was still no reason for him to mop the floor with Lethal from beginning to end.
As the announcers rushed to make excuses for why the former X Division and tag team champion struggled against wrestlers decades past their prime, Tatanka hit Jay Lethal with his Indian Death Drop.
“I thought it was a Samoan Death Drop”, argued Taz before conceding, “Well, Samoa, American India… it’s a drop!”
Anyway, Tatanka pinned Jay Lethal, sending the native of American India away with a 1-0 record in TNA.
Jay, on the other hand, was 0-2 against the oldsters in consecutive months. His luck would change when Hulk Hogan and Eric Bischoff famously took over in 2010…
…and gave his “loses to relics of wrestling’s past” gimmick to everyone else in the company.
Come back next week for the 2025 Gooker Award induction!