INDUCTION: Kane vs. Big Show, Technical Battle – Catch as Catch Can’t

21 Submitted by on Thu, 07 July 2022, 20:00

WWE – May 08, 2006

I know what you’re thinking as you see the image above – a Kane vs. Big Show match, even a bad one, can’t really be WrestleCRAP, can it? Even if they blew a bunch of spots or whatever, these two are seasoned pros and surely a random encounter on a random Raw shouldn’t really classify as induction material.

To which I say, child please – read the title of this induction a bit closer.

This wasn’t any old wrestling match – it was Kane vs. the Big Show in a TECHNICAL WRESTLING EXHIBITION.

These two men weren’t going to be throwing haymakers, they were going to show the world just how skilled their mat work truly could be.

Sounds like a recipe for disaster?

You betcha!

This fiasco would have taken place shortly after Kane and Big Show lost the WWE tag team titles, a reign of which I have literally no recollection. Maybe…maybe I should go back and investigate said reign? Tell you what, if this here match turns out to be good, I will hunt down some of their title defenses.

Given that I have already written a giant INDUCTION: preceding this particular bout, I wouldn’t hold my breath.

A quick check of the calendar shows us a May 8 air date, which means it was just 11 days away from May 19. For the uninformed of you out there, May 19, 2006 would have been the original release date for Kane’s first ever movie, See No Evil. This celluloid masterpiece may have given us such reviews as “as shallow as a toilet bowl and twice as rank as its usual contents” (which we included in The WrestleCrap Book of Lists!), but even I have to give WWE credit for making sure that everyone knew when it was hitting theaters as they beat that date over fans’ heads for seemingly months on end with an ongoing storyline.

You reading this? If someone says May 19 to you, admit it – you think of Kane.

Don’t lie.

But hey, I’m sure that won’t come into play here.

Big Show moseys on down to the ring next, and make no mistake about it, this guy is in full-on babyface mode.

Why one can almost hear Vince McMahon at the gorilla position telling poor Paul Wight, “Remember pal – you can’t smile enough. Smile dammit! Smile!!”

For his part, Kane looks nearly as enthused as I at such antics performed by this 500 pound giant.

Also, this just in – Kane is an ugly, ugly man.

I’d be worried about being called out for such a statement in this day and age, but pretty sure he was aiming for that look here. So bravo to him.

Being former tag team partners, Show reaches out to give Kane a handshake, which the Big Red Machine refuses.

He follows up with attempting a fist bump. After looking at him cock-eyed (or is that cross-eyed?), he obliges.

Who knew these two were prototype pandemic poster boys?

Heading over to the ropes, Show…does…something.

I think – think – he is stretching, perhaps loosening up for this athletic encounter.

That or he’s doing the world’s least enthusiastic Ultimate Warrior impersonation.

So the match starts and we get a go behind, followed up with a takedown and what I believe is supposed to be a front chancery. Chastise me if you must for not knowing precisely what these moves are supposed to be, but I’m pretty sure these guys weren’t certain either.

Following that display of grappling excellence, Kane bounces off the rope to attack, only to be taken down by an honest to goodness DROP TOE HOLD.

Let me repeat that – a DROP TOE HOLD FROM THE BIG SHOW.

So thrilled is Show at his catch as catch can mastery, he does a little dance to show his deft footwork.

Thinking if I had the choice between a technical match or a dance off between these two, I’d pick the latter.

Naturally, the trademark of any terrible wrestling match follows, as we get, yes, you guessed it, a TEST OF STRENGTH. On this recent run of horrendous matches I’ve been inducting lately, I am pretty sure at least one test of strength is in all of them. And in their defense, this one is better than the ones Arcidi and Atlas did.

Something else Arcidi and Atlas failed to do?

Whatever the (inset your favorite expletive here) this is.

Even good ol’ JR seems completely baffled at this point: “I swear to you folks, this is not the match I thought we were going to see.” He follows that up by telling how much he is enjoying it.

Far be it to for me to call JR a liar but…

…somewhere I hear Blade Braxton screaming “JIM!”

Kane gives us a hammerlock, and now Jerry Lawler is equally puzzled, noting “I’ve seen him with a real hammer before, but I’ve never seen him use a hammerlock!”

Well, there’s probably a reason for that, as we get what Jim calls a drop toe hold, followed by the weirdest looking “float over” in the history of this great business.

Show then builds up a head of steam and runs straight for Kane. This is where you’d expect in any other match for old baldy to just move out of the way.

But not here.

No, instead he attempts to school Show in the finer arts of the drop toe hold.

He fails spectacularly of course, but I think that was the goal.

This thrilling display of grappling has the fans so enthralled they start up a half hearted “boring” chant, with Ross noting they are growing “restless.”

You say tomato, I say sucky match.

With his foe stumbling about, Kane heads to the top rope, but is interrupted in his endeavor with a wacky fire video, bellowing something about May 19. This of course causes him to go completely crazy and wallop Show with a chair, bringing our technical tour de force to a premature end.

As I saw Kane ascend high above the ring, inspiration struck. What if…what if…these two followed up this with an AERIAL match? Why in my mind’s eye, I can picture Kane starting off the bout with a tope suicida, and Big Show countering with an Asai moonsault. Maybe we even get a shooting star press or two.

I mean, sure it would be terrible…but so was this, right?


Thanks for reading another WrestleCrap induction! We’d greatly appreciate your support, even if it’s just a buck or two, over on our Patreon. It’s only through patronage such as yours we can keep on Crappin’!

Written by

Yeah, you know...the WrestleCrap guy. Been here since before day 1, I have. You can hang out with me on Facebook. (I'm on there quite a bit) or follow my exploits on Twitter (I'm on there not quite so often). Thanks, and Keep on Crappin'!
21 Responses to "INDUCTION: Kane vs. Big Show, Technical Battle – Catch as Catch Can’t"
  1. Statistician says:

    STATISTICALLY…

    This is the 25th induction from 2006. 2006 is the 15th year – and the most recent – with 25 things inducted.
    This is the third piece of Kane nonsense from 2006 to be inducted. The first two were See No Evil itself and the Impostor Kane. All of those are from May 2006. Kane did not have a good year. Nor did he have a good 2005, being a proxy for Matt Hardy in the Lita/Edge cheating angle.
    The biggest letdown Big Show thing in 2006, for me, was that match against Batista that got booed mercilessly because they decided to put it on an ECW show. That’s not been inducted yet.
    Also on this show was the Spirit Squad (inducted) beating John Cena and HBK 5-on-2. That got 3 1/4 Meltzer stars. Why?

    Join me next time for more useless information.

  2. Bubo316 says:

    Just a quick lesson in May 19th history. May 19th 1989 was the release date for “Road House,” featuring a supporting performance by Terry By God Funk.

  3. C Boz says:

    I have not watched this match in full, and perhaps that is a good thing. But props to Mr Wight for showing some scientific wrestling skills. He ain’t no Lord Regal in his Marquis of Queensbury Rules series with the Nature Boy in 1994, but he shows some skill which is more than I can say for far too many “wrestlers”. So maybe not a great match per se, but also not wrestlecrap to me. Sorry RD.

  4. Brownie_the_3rd says:

    I remember this match, as they were coming down to the ring JR was in full swing telling us it’ll be a sloberknocker, bowling shoe ugly, a couple of big hosses trying to out hoss each other, and then it starts and they chain wrestle and JR is damn near lost for words.
    Best part is this won’t be the last time they do this. Pretty much everytime they wrestle each other after this they’ll throw some chain wrestling into the match and I kinda love it.

  5. OPC says:

    Whose idea was this? It feels like it’s gotta be a rib.

    • Chris V says:

      The idea was that they were friends and so they were going to have a respectful wrestling exhibition so that afterwards they could continue on as a tag team. Then, “May 19th” happened leading to Kane losing it. Kane officially turned heel again.

      I want to point out that most pro wrestlers can do this type of matchup. This Big Show vs. Kane match is a good example of why some wrestlers don’t use this style. If it’s Steven Regal, Bryan Danielson, or Dean Malenko doing it, it’s a thing of beauty. Having Kane or the Young Bucks putting on this style of match shows there are limitations to it. There is a reason that pro wrestling does/should have multiple different styles.

      As far as inducting this match? It doesn’t deserve an induction. The worst part of it was already inducted (May 19th!). Otherwise, it was a harmless and different type of match for super-heavyweights. Much better than the recent matches that have been inducted.
      I would nominate Abdullah The Butcher’s debut in ROH. Nothing against Abdullah and I love Ring of Honor, but it is definitely one of the worst matches ever. Abdullah was too old and out of shape to even be able to enter the ring.

  6. Dan Sheldon says:

    I admit I always enjoyed the absurdity of this match. It also shows why big guys shouldn’t do technical matches even if they can LOL! Still a better actual wrestling match with more ring psychology than anything I’ve seen from the Young Bucks (Now you kids get off my lawn)

    • TimTE01 says:

      Agreed- why is this Crap?

      • Maverick MoPete says:

        To quote from the Al WIlson Induction that won the 2003 Gooker Award…

        “People often think that WrestleCrap has to be something so horrible that it hurt the business, that it killed off fan interest. And while this whole fiasco was indescribably horrible, it was also a whole hell of a lot of fun.

        And rest assured, it was most definitely WrestleCrap.”

    • XQDad44 says:

      Actually sounds like it was fun to watch. (I may have seen it, but I don’t remember it.) I seem to recall an interview with Show where he mentions he was taught traditional wrestling, but never got to use it. The interview was in the context of a match he had later with Braun Strowman, and he sounded almost giddy at the fact that he was in the ring with someone as big and strong as he was, and they could actually wrestle a bit.

      That match (which I do remember watching) actually wasn’t half bad.

  7. TimTE01 says:

    Between this and the 2 minute Cody Rhodes inducted already, I’m beginning to question the standard for induction here.

    Two guys trying to technical wrestle- even if it is not great- is WrestleCrap?

    Meanwhile, that (Non) Exploding Ring goes un-inducted…

    • dennett316 says:

      “standard for induction” Oh for fuck sake. It’s Wrestlecrap, not the Library of Congress. You weirdos always want to suck the fun out of everything and make shit po-faced and serious, as if there’s any kind of non-subjective aspect to any of this.
      Turning it into an AEW vs WWE thing makes it even fucking sadder.

      It was a dumb idea for a match that was ugly as sin then had a dumb non-ending to top it off. Take the company wars crap elsewhere.

      • alec pridgen says:

        The tagline- The Worst in Pro Wrestling.

        Is this the worst? No.
        Is it bad? No.

        You and your rage issues can peace out.

        I’m the weirdo- sure.

    • RD Reynolds says:

      More AEW inductions are on their way, just have other stuff we’re doing first.

    • Guest says:

      You want an exploding ring match to be inducted simply based upon the finish of the match while thinking a match involving two Giants that was for no reason booked as a technical showcase (which no wanted to see) and had a bullshit finish. Was not that bad?

      You clearly have zero credibility.

  8. Christopher Haydu says:

    You know, May 19th was on a Thursday this year. This would’ve been perfect for inducing seven weeks ago. There, on Thursday night at eight o’clock, is a new induction that has a photo in it that says May 19th. It would’ve been so perfect! But no, you had to induct something crappy instead…..

  9. Hulk6785 says:

    I legit love this match. I love how absurd it looks to see these two giants rolling around on the mat like technicians. I honestly think it’s one of The Big Show’s best matches.

  10. Michael Hunt says:

    This wasn’t the weirdest float over, Viscera doing it before humping people was

  11. Thomas Moffatt says:

    I’m pretty sure Kane and Big Show dropped the tag titles to the Sissy Squad and then very shortly after this the reason for the wacky fire video turned out to be the inducted Imposter Kane storyline…

  12. George Biscuitbeard says:

    This is one of those matches that isn’t objectively too bad but is just a poor choice of booking. I’ve got no issues with guys trying to show versatility, but there’s a right and wrong way to do that and it’s silly to just throw two large guys known for brawling into a technical contest because of some throwaway line about respect. Its especially stupid given that I think Kane had already begun his heel turn at this point.

    Triple H being put over by Foley as hardcore worked. Joe beating Angle in an MMA-influenced cage match was pretty entertaining. Two guys not being allowed to do what they’re best at and expected to just go through the motions with moves they probably hadn’t used for a decade to further a horror film is definitely wrestlecrap.

leave a comment