INDUCTION: Hornswoggle vs. Great Khali – David meets Goliath with craptastic results

12 Submitted by on Thu, 10 November 2022, 20:00

WWE, Survivor Series 2007

One of my favorite memories of the Starrcasts I did was having a chance meeting with Dylan Postl, who you likely know better as former WWE superstar Hornswoggle. I remember seeing him and thinking about how no matter what ridiculousness the company put him in, he did it in such a manner where you could tell he was giving it everything he possibly could to make it work. So we struck up a conversation and imagine my surprise when I learned he was actually a huge WrestleCrapper back in the day! We talked for a long time about not only his wrestling career, but more than that, his appearance in Muppets Most Wanted. He explained to me what a huge Muppet fan he was, and educated me that there were Muppets DIRT SHEETS, just like in wrestling.

Mrs. Deal, get Dave Meltzer on the line – I gotta find out about Bunsen Honeydew’s contract status!

Today, though, we’re talking about Swoggle’s time as the long-lost son of Vince McMahon. You remember that, right? That time where we had months of build for Ken Kennedy to be revealed with a gigantic push, only to be told at the end that Vince’s son was the wee little bloke pictured above?

Part of that storyline featured Vince giving his new kid some tough love. Some 7′ tough love to be exact in the form of a match with the Great Khali. So let’s travel back to Survivor Series 2007 and induct this sucker!

Prior to Hornswoggle making his way to the ring, we are treated to Vince and Shane telling us they are coming out to watch the festivities. Shane talks about how much he’s looking forward to being there for his “little brother”, with the announce crew gushing about this being the first time Shane was publicly acknowledging his sibling. Were I one Hornswoggle, I wouldn’t get too excited – after all, Shane has been pretty much shown the door at the time I’m penning this. Guessing that being third on the list ain’t getting you too far, kid.

Oh, and I’d mock the guy in the second row for the McMahon for President ’08 sign, but well…stranger things and all that.

Regardless of the monumental task ahead, Swogs comes in with his game face ready. I really think that in hindsight, watching this old stuff again, Dylan’s acting chops are woefully underrated. Dude shows good emotions, be it sadness, fear, or in this case, rage. He’s just a couple foaming pellets away from being a rabid dog.

At this point, the McMahons go nose to nipple with the Punjabi giant, sizing him up and giving him the once over. Vince seems to be beaming the humanity he sees in front of him. I mean, it’s not Gary Strydom levels of adulation or anything, but as look closely and you can see his chest is puffed out in utter joy. It’s kinda creepy.

But now, the little guy is realizing he’s all alone. Shane and his pops have headed out to sit on the floor and now it’s time to put up or shut up. Uh oh indeed, my friend.

Suddenly, though, he remembers his lineage and thus one simple fact: he’s a McMahon DAMMIT! He throws his hat at Khali’s…ankle, rips off his jacket, and gets ready for war. He may be small, but he ain’t going down without a fight!

Said battle starts with a “bring it, don’t sing it” finger gesture, then a kick right to the shin. I hope Orange Cassidy is sending Dylan royalty checks – it’s blatantly obvious he stole his trademark move from Swoggle!

Determining that going after the guy who is quite literally twice his height and three times his weight probably isn’t the best course of action, Horny turns his attention to Khali’s manager, Ranjin Singh, kicking him in the face. If that’s not enough, he sprays the green mist in his mug as well.

Wait, is he Vince’s kid or Muta’s? I’m so confused.

Seeing his manager in great peril, Khali ambles out of the ring to his aid only to see Swoggle bolt beneath the ring. The big guy doesn’t follow, no doubt concerned he may wind up in a horrible Little People’s Court segment. Can’t blame him.

Back in the ring, Swoggle digs into his bag of tricks and comes a swinging with his trusty shillelagh. Unfortunately, that doesn’t even faze the monster. Which means fun time is over.

Mazē dā samāṁ khatama hō gi’ā hai!

Holy crap, he obliterated my pal! So much so he’s flopping around like a fish out of water (in a fantastic sell job)!

Just as it looks as though Swog is about to be the victim of a Kona Crush style noggin squeezer, Fit Finlay comes to the rescue, pummeling him with a whacking stick of his own, driving this giant snake out of the land ala St. Patrick himself. (Speaking of, I had to explain this story to Russo on this week’s Joker’s Mustache. If you haven’t signed up to join the fun over on Channel Attitude yet, I don’t know what on earth you are waiting for.)

Just in case you’ve not quite figured it out yet, I am a huge fan of Dylan’s work. He’s a legit hilarious dude. Don’t believe me? Then check out this awesome interview from a few years back where he discusses traveling with…

…yes, The Great Khali! That truth is stranger than any fiction I could ever write!

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Yeah, you know...the WrestleCrap guy. Been here since before day 1, I have. You can hang out with me on Facebook. (I'm on there quite a bit) or follow my exploits on Twitter (I'm on there not quite so often). Thanks, and Keep on Crappin'!
12 Responses to "INDUCTION: Hornswoggle vs. Great Khali – David meets Goliath with craptastic results"
  1. Garrett Spears says:

    They also had a match on Superstars.

  2. Thomas Mossman says:

    Cool to find out Swoggle was a Crapper back in the day. Did he ever tell you his favorite induction?

    • Keybored says:

      Hornswoggle should be inducted into the Wrestlecrap Lifetime Achievement Award for having a horrible gimmick in the first place. I’m sure Hornswoggle would love that.

  3. Toastman says:

    I always enjoyed Dylan’s work, it’s not like he was being held back in the role especially given wrestling’s history of much worse characters for dwarf actors. It took up waaaay too much TV time in total but it was usually spread out across a show (unlike the divas dodgeball or Bischoff’s Leno parodies which were 15-20 minutes of uninterrupted boredom and cringe) and were often so stupid and immersion-breaking that it was hard to not at least chuckle. The fact that they then had the gall to have JBL beat the crap out of him in front of his ‘dad’ and it wactually worked in getting him sympathy was genuinely impressive as well.

  4. Premier Blah says:

    If he is also a fan of Batman and or Victor Paul, could you and Vince get him on your video progrem?

  5. Statistician says:

    STATISTICALLY…

    This is the 24th induction from 2007. This is the first induction from the 2000s since Kane vs. Big Show, inducted back in July, and the first from 2007 since Black Reign inducted way back in July 2020. No idea how that is. 2007 had a LOT of bad stuff.
    Hornswoggle being into WrestleCrap is amazing given that he’s not only a many-time inductee, but a multiple-time Gooker Award winner (for the very same bastard storyline you mentioned here). Do you think he ever played up the awfulness of his storylines in order to get featured more?
    This is actually the third induction from 2007 to involve the leprechaun man, after the bastard storyline again and his match with Finlay against Boogeyman and his mini version.
    Come to think of it, how have you managed to avoid inducting the Anonymous Raw General Manager? That’s technically an angle that involved Hornswoggle. At least induct Raw #998 where the Anon. GM was “revealed” to be him, that show was awful all round.

    Tune in next time for more tag: size_difference

  6. Gerard says:

    give the little dude credit he did not back down from a fight!! he took what was a comedy gimmick and made it a great character!!! swoggle should be in the hall of fame!!

  7. Al Boondy says:

    “Mazē dā samāṁ khatama hō gi’ā hai!”

    Google Translate is givin’ me nuthin …

  8. Thomas Moffatt says:

    I don’t care what people say, I will always detest Hornswoggle with a vengeance.

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