All the buzz in a particular corner of the Internet this week is about Pro Wrestling Zero1’s new Hayabusa character. Not only does he look just like the original Japanese legend…
…he moves like him, too.
Time will tell if Hayabusa II will live up to his late great namesake, but it’s neat to see “Hayabusa” wrestle for the first time in nearly a quarter century.
Some background:
Eiji “Hayabusa” Ezaki was the most influential high-flyer of the 1990s. Back then, every wrestling promotion wanted a piece of Hayabusa:
WWF made an ill-conceived knockoff named Avatar.
WCW (and THQ) brought a lookalike to the Playstation as Habanero.
And ECW actually recruited the real guy to wrestle RVD & Sabu.
And in the decades since, wrestlers have been using his moves, from Hardcore Holly and the Falcon Arrow…
…to Seth Rollins and the Phoenix Splash.
Hayabusa was the star of the erroneously-initialed FMW: Frontier Martial Arts Wrestling.
In that sense only, it was the Japanese equivalent of AFV: America’s Funniest Home Videos
Tragically, an in-ring accident ended Hayabusa’s career and shortened his life, but if you want to see his career highlights, there are plenty of compilations online and on DVD…
…none of which include the match highlighted in this week’s induction. At least, I really, really hope not.
A little more background:
Hayabusa’s chief rival in FMW was Mr. Gannosuke. Back in 1997, he beat Gannosuke in a hair vs. mask match.
Hayabusa refused to shave Gannosuke’s head, however…
…an act of mercy that Gannosuke repaid by not only stealing his mask…
…but trying to set him on fire! Just listen to the English announcers’ impassioned commentary.
The feud continued into 1999 when Hayabusa, forced by FMW’s crooked commissioner to unmask for good…
…re-christened himself as simply “H”.
This allowed Mr. Gannosuke to steal not just his mask this time, but his whole persona.
There was only one way to settle this matter. Hayabusa had competed in some dangerous matches over the years…
…risking life and limb. But was he willing to risk һole?
Yes he was, challenging Gannosuke to the first-ever…
JAnus Explosion Match!!!
Taunting his rival with a firecracker, H vowed to stick an explosive where the sun don’t shine.
He even wedged such a firecracker into a mannequin to demonstrate its awesome destructive power…
…then used a gourd to demonstrate the explosive’s effect on organic matter.
On the night of the match, H brandished his firework once again…
…which the Japanese commentators also noted was five times more powerful than normal.
At first, H joked about what he was going to do to Gannosuke…
…but soon he got serious, cutting a heartfelt promo that YouTube couldn’t translate well, but probably had very little to do with getting one’s bungһole blasted.
Officially, the match was called the LoserCAոal Explosion Match, meaning the loser of the fall would have to drop trou and get his tunnel excavated.
It was certainly more practical than having to insert the object during the match…
…which is what Gannosuke ended up doing. After only a few minutes of action, the dastardly heel handcuffed H to the ring post…
…pulled down his cut-offs…
…and wedged the candle right into H’s cake. It was still a month until his birthday.
Gannosuke lit the fuse, setting off a blast more impressive that AEW’s Exploding Ring.
Despite having detonated a bomb in H’s bum, the phony Hayabusa did not officially win the match…
…which was ruled a No Contest due to him jumping the gun. So take that!
Though the original FMW folded in 2002, Hayabusa’s stipulation lives on, with Japan’s DDT making the match a staple of their promotion.
I’ll go out on a limb here and say this one is the better tribute: