Goldberg vs. Sid – A Story of Streaks and Cars Crushed Into Cubes

In the history of WCW, few things ever topped the excitement of Bill Goldberg’s legendary streak. While it was apparent the company was beginning to crumble from within following too many years of the nWo overstaying its welcome, the botch job that was the Sting-Hogan Starrcade main event, and so many other mishaps, Goldberg was lightning in a bottle at just the right time. The man was different than anyone else on the roster – a rock solid monster who was plowing through opponents left and right as fans cheered on each victory.

Amazingly, even WCW couldn’t derail the guy. Well, at least not at first. He would wind up beating no less than Hulk Hogan for the WCW World Championship on Nitro in front of 41,412 fans. Of course, this being WCW, they screwed that up as well announcing to fans that there were 1,500 LESS people in attendance than that. You’d also think they may have wanted to do this match on PPV and you know, make some money on it, but apparently beating Raw in the ratings for a week was more important than that. Regardless, it was a huge moment and set the company up with a champion they could bank on for years to come.

Of course, that didn’t happen. After less than six months, Kevin Nash ended the streak at Starrcade and the hot period WCW had came to an end. Have I ever mentioned how dumb this company was? I should run a website talking about it. Wait, already did that. I should write a book about it…wait, did that too, twice. Yeah, this company was really, really stupid. But hey, time rolls on and with his streak and title gone, eventually it was time for Goldberg to find a new opponent, which he did in the form of THIS MAN…

…the legendary Sid Vicious. But this wasn’t going to be just any feud, for you see, Goldberg wasn’t the only one who had a streak – Sid had one too! And since this is one of my favorite parts of The Death of WCW and I wrote it, let’s just take a snippet from that:

In order to promote the eventual encounter, Sid came out on Nitro one week and claimed that he was 55-0. Never mind that he hadn’t had fifty-five matches on WCW TV since coming back. Or, while we’re at it, the fact that he’d lost several times on TV over the past few weeks alone. By midway through the show, he was at 59-0 despite not having won any matches. Bobby Heenan explained this by saying he’d already beaten up nine men. Nobody was sure how fifty-five plus nine equaled fifty-nine. The next week, despite losing at every house show the company ran, he was suddenly up to 68-0. Then he pinned Juventud Guerrera, Lenny Lane, and Lodi. This made him 70-0. Again, do not ask how sixty-eight plus three equals seventy. Three days later, on Thunder, Sid said he couldn’t wait to get to six more wins so he could break Goldberg’s 176-0 streak. And, ummm . . . yeah. Once he did this, Sid inexplicably added, he was going to “shake all over.” In September, Sid, at 76-0, lost to Saturn via DQ when Rick Steiner ran in. On Nitro the following Monday, however, he was billed as being 77-0. So yes, losses were now counting as wins in this streak.

You’d think that Goldberg vs. Sid, streak vs. streak, would be enough to ratchet up excitement, but no no no – we got more. MUCH more. More in the form of lunacy in parking garages! For instance, here we see Sid walking past his car and eyeballing it intently. I mean, I would be too if I was Sid. I’d be asking myself, “why do I drive such a terrible, piece of crap car? Can’t I afford something a little better than this? Don’t I deserve something a bit better than this?” Regardless, he inspects his jalopy then moseys on backstage.

Which allows his (for the time) arch nemesis, Goldberg, to go into action. Bill calls a towing company and when the guy shows up, he gives him instructions we don’t really hear, but one thing we do know is that they are to be back at exactly 11pm that evening. Goldberg walks off with a very satisfied smirk on his face as fans at home waited with bated breath. And sure enough, just as Nitro ended, Sid comes out to find his car…

…squished as flat as a pancake! This causes Sid to do what any normal, sane person would do – jump up and down and up and down and up and down on top of the smashed vehicle while screaming out “GOLDBERG! GOLDBERG!” as loud as humanly possible like a teenage spurned lover.

Remember a few years back when Stephanie McMahon was saying wrestling shows should be eligible for Emmy awards? She must have had moments like this in mind.

The following week, Sid plotted his revenge. He did this by hiding behind a stone pillar like he was one of those Mad Magazine Spy vs. Spy guys (anyone remember those?). So he spots Goldberg arriving and sneaks to his car. Again, I expected these big time wrestling stars to drive something a little nicer than something your grandma might have, but what do I know. Sid smiles and laughs and makes a mental note that Goldberg is parked in space 22. Overjoyed with this knowledge, he heads backstage to continue his scheme.

Of course this being a wrestling show (or so I am told), both Sid and Goldberg had matches but not against each other. No no, we’d have to pay the big bucks for that. But midway through this show, Sid was informed that he needed to move his car for security reasons. Of course, Sid couldn’t be bothered by that, so he big timed Doug Dillenger and his cronie Moses and told them to move it. Soon enough, we hit the witching hour once more and Sid came back out to the garage, asking Moses for his keys. He obliges and tells him he parked it right over there – in space 22.

OH NO – NOT SPACE 22!!!! The poor guy comes out to find his car smashed into a cube leading to ANOTHER legendary Sid meltdown, with him now going all Nancy Kerrigan and screaming “WHY ME?” over and over again. It may be the single most absurd, comically overacted moment in wrestling history. AND I LOVE IT.

All of this was to be build to a match between Sid and Goldberg. Yes, kids, everything you’ve seen here was to get you to call your local cable company and spend the big bucks! Apparently Sid wound up gushing like a stuck pig in the match and I could not have possibly cared less. Screw a wrestling match – I just wanted to see Sid constantly having his cars crushed into cubes for months on end. I’m not sure I would have ever tired of that. And if it did get boring, I have the perfect blow off:

Yep, that sums up the whole feud rather nicely!

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