Newer fans disgusted by the sheer amount of screen time that Stephanie McMahon gets may believe that nepotism is a recent happening in wrestling. In actuality, nothing could be further from the truth. Whether it be Fritz Von Erich’s legendary push of his sons, or Verne Gagne doing likewise, if you are somehow related to a wrestling promoter, odds are you’re going to be getting a fair amount of the spotlight.
Such was the case in the early to mid 1980’s, when Jim Crockett was a major power broker in the business. Jim Crockett Promotions ran NWA shows throughout the groups strongest markets: the Carolinas, Atlanta, and Florida. He was so powerful, in fact, that he was able to snag a valuable time slot on on the up and coming SuperStation, WTBS out of Atlanta. In short, many viewed JCP as the NWA.
So it should come as no surprise that family members were brought in to man the ship. And it was Jim’s brother, David, that was given the biggest share of the spotlight, as an announcer for the WTBS shows with Tony Schiavone.
The sad part is that in this announcing duo, Tony Schiavone was actually the better of the two.
Before you email us, YES – David Crockett was THAT bad. He had many annoying habits, like being the biggest cheerleader this side of the Dallas Cowgirls. Rah Rah, siss boom bah!
By far, though, his most annoying trait was imploring folks watching at home to “Look at that,” as if they were either a) not paying attention or b) blind. Then he would implore Tony to “look at that!” Then he would remind you, the viewer at home, to “look at that!” In fact, just to give you a sample of how he would commentate a match, take a listen to this.
Think that’s not annoying? Then consider this. That soundbite was taken from ONE match. ONE FREAKIN’ MATCH! And it was a match with Shaska Whatley vs. Jimmy Valiant! Now just imagine what a whole hour of that was like…or what it was like during a really important match. Hell, you’d be looking all over the place.
But that’s enough from me. Let’s see YOUR favorite David Crockett memories:
I don’t remember a whole lot about David Crockett, but even as a little kid I knew something wasn’t quite right about him. What a freakin’ cheerleader!
In old tapes, I’ve noticed he very rarely finished a sentence, or even a somewhat complete thought…unless “TONY!!!” or “vertical suplex” counts as a thought.
David was at his worst/funniest when he was excited: “he…comeon…it’s…flyingbodypress!…1…2…comeonTommygetdownthere!”
His greatest line had to be “Kick ‘im, kick ‘im like a dog!” How PC.
My favorite David Crockett moment of all time wasn’t actually one of him speaking. It was a moment that kept him from speaking. I loved it when Nikita Koloff nearly decapitated the lil’ bugger with a Russian Cicle (sp) on an episode of Saturday Night.
Actual (more or less) quotes from David Crockett, who swears that nepotism had nothing to do with him getting within 7 miles of a microphone…
(Generic riff during ANY match he “announced”) D.C. to Tony Schiavone, who came off like Gordon Solie in comparison: “Oh boy, Tony, look at that! He hit him! He hit him good!”
(Magnum T.A. kisses Baby Doll) D.C.: “She likes it! She likes it! Ooooohh, Tony!”
(At the end of any Nikita Koloff squash) D.C.: “”Watch him lay over his prey!”
(Another sure shot during any match) D.C.: “He picks him up…What’s he gonna do with him now?”
(Shortly after being hit by Nikita’s sickle) D.C.: “Smurguhahahh”
D.C.’s commentary would always get obsessive when he talked about Baby Doll (“Oooooohhh, Tony. That Baby Doll!!! She’s been bad!!!”). And he seemed to have an, uh, non-heterosexual fascination with Magnum T.A., getting this weird-looking smile and gleam in his eye whenever he would interview him.
Oh, so many.
David’s acting after the Mulkey’s win. (“Randy! Bill! You beat ’em!”)
Worse one (which WCW announcers referred to when giving David a hard time but were wrong in the phrasing), it happened on the TBS special “SuperStars on the SuperStation” in a match between the Rock and Roll Express and the Midnight Express. Cornette and the Express had been attacking the R and R’s for weeks to get a title shot including one incident where the Midnights whipped Ricky Morton with a belt.
Towards the end of the match, Cornette ends up in the ring with Morton. Morton gets a hold of a belt and is standing over Cornette. David starts yelling, “Whip him! Whip him like a dog!” (For some reason when they mentioned it later in the WCW Allnighter they said “Kick him like a dog” which was wrong.) Of course, Morton gets hit with the racket and pinned for the tag titles.
Yes, David Crockett takes the prize as the worst announcer ever. Anyone that doesn’t remember this joker is really better off, because he could butcher a match. And talk about getting excited about nothing. . .”Look at that, Tony–an armdrag!!!” We can’t forget his fantastic journalistic skills either with his riveting interviews. An epileptic baboon on crack in heat that was just slapped in the face wouldn’t get as excited like good ole David would over absolutely nothing. The only good thing about him if/when you think of all things wrestling that was entertaining was when the Road Warriors would have an interview with him and Hawk would shout his name before starting in on whose ass they would kick next (of course, Hawk’s cadence is what set that off so well).
My favorite David Crockett moment wasn’t really a moment for him, but one of the more bizarre Road Warriors promos I can remember. It started off with Animal screaming, wandering from their upcoming opponents to global warming to the best place to get cheeseburgers, until he threw it to his tag partner with the famous line, “Tell ’em about it, Hawk!” Hawk screamed “David… Crooooooocket”, then asked him if he knew how things had been going for the L.O.D. as late. Well, apparently, Hawk didn’t know, but explained how it had been going for their opponents… then laid down on the ground and made snoring noises. Then he jumped back up and explained, “That’s right, they snore!”
You can insert your own joke to that, but the best part was David Crockett, standing like a stone statue with almost no reaction to the whole thing. Other than that, I just vaguely remember Crockett commentating on LazerTron matches, and the less said about that the better.
RD: Yes! I loved that. “Dav-ID CROCKETT!” If anyone has a sound bite of that, send it my way! Hell, if anyone has any stupid David Crockett sound bites, lay them on me!
David Crockett: “Come on Jimmy, you can do it! You can do it! HARD RIGHT HAND TO THE HEAD!”
David Crockett, like a blabbering idiot, shouts “Look at him!” about 20 different times…during a Shaska Whatley match!