Picture a cage match with some of the biggest names in the business. Scott Hall, Sting, Cactus Jack, the Steiners, Big Van Vader, Abdullah the Butcher. Throw in El Gigante for laughs. Now even WCW couldn’t screw THIS up could they?
Oh you bet they could.
Since the match was to be held at Halloween Havoc, WCW thought it would be cool to make the cage a gimmick match (moreso than a cage usually is, I suppose). They put caskets and “weapons of torture” inside the cage. They made the cage larger than usual. They put an electric chair in the cage.
Reread that last line, please.
THEY PUT AN ELECTRIC CHAIR IN THE CAGE.
And not just any old electric chair, but the dreaded “CHAIR OF TORTURE”!
The object of the match, as I am sure you’ve guessed, was to put an opponent in the chair and fry him. Better yet, here’s Gary Michael Capetta to tell you more.
So the match progressed something like this:
|The participants came out of a haunted house that looks like it was stolen from a third grade production of “The Legend of Sleepy Hollow”.|
|They fought in a big cage filled with useless weapons like caskets and shrunken heads.|
|Again, the object was to put your opponent in the “CHAIR OF TORTURE“…|
|…and then to throw the “FATAL LEVER.”|
|The fans at home got to follow the action with the fabulous new “REFER-EYE” Camera, which was mounted to the ref’s head.|
|After about six years of the most boring cage match ever seen, Rick Steiner strapped Abdullah into the “CHAIR OF TORTURE“.|
|Cactus Jack, thinking that Steiner is in the chair, threw the “FATAL LEVER“.|
|A big pyrotechnique show followed!|
|Abdullah shakes about in the chair, appearing to be electrified. |
If you’ve ever seen the movie Ed Wood… remember the scene were Bela Lugosi “fights” the octopus, but they forgot the motor, so he just splashes about and screams? Same thing here.
|And then, of course, Abby appeared to be dead.|
|Which brought out the “Ghoul EMT Unit”.|
So the next time you want to see something frightful, head out to the local video store and pick up Halloween Havoc 91. It beats the hell out of watching Linda Blair spitting up pea soup.