Max Moon Detailed in a Completely Unreadable 1993 WWF Magazine Article

The much chided Max Moon is a figure of legend around these parts. One of the original INDUCTIONs (at least I think he was, it’s been nearly a quarter century!) the space man who decided that pro wrestling was…you know, I don’t even know how to complete that sentence. Why was a guy from outer space now wanting to trade holds in an attempt to secure a three count in a wrestling ring? What sense does that even make? Maybe this here February 1993 issue of the official WWF Magazine will give us some clues.

But there’s just one problem – the design of this makes it almost completely unreadable! Seriously, that is PageMaker 101 right there. The starfield background renders it pointless. Not sure I’ve ever seen a page layout that bad in not only a wrestling magazine, but ANY magazine. Woof. “Max Moon, the energetic combatant from the cosmos, has set the World Wrestling Federation on fire since he exploded onto the scene several months ago. This hooded zealot, says his legions of fans, is perhaps the best young wrestler in the WWF. They feel he is the first in a new wave of high-flying, technically advanced WWF Superstars.”. Am I reading that right? Is this magazine telling us that we were going to get a full on alien invasion in 1993? Because if so, I am totally onboard with that.

Doing my best to read the rest of this, we learn that no less than EL MATADOR believes “Moon’s ability is as boundless as the universe itself.” Please tell me footage exists in the WWF vault of Tito Santana saying exactly that. Sadly not everyone shares such enthusiasm, as no less than REPO MAN. “When I get my hands on Max Moon again, he ain’t gonna be able to do anything. That’s because I’m gonna repossess his jet pack and his arm braces that shoot those ridiculous streamers and fire.” Legit question – why did we not get this feud with his exact verbiage? Was Vince scared he was going to make too much money? Regardless, time for me to go give my eyes a rest – I am in earnest when I tell you squinting so hard trying to read this has given me a colossal headache!

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