WWF Raw – October 26th, 1998 – Kohl Center – Madison, WI
WWF Raw begins tonight with Vince McMahon being wheeled out on stage as the fans call him an a**hole. Surrounded by stooges and suits (and Motley Crue’s drum set), a disconsolate McMahon berates not just Steve Austin but “each and every one of you” (even those reading this nearly 30 years later) for cheering his many humiliations last week. These include begging, crying, and pissing himself, each of which draws big cheers from the crowd as Vince recounts them. He also reveals that the paper Austin gave McMahon last week was a legal document that his attorneys on stage will contest.
“Austin, before you make your next move”, says Vince, “you better take stock of what I say”, adding conspicuous emphasis on the word stock. Steve Austin instantly appears on the Titantron and tells someone off camera that Vince should buy stock in Pampers diapers. It appears to be a clip from an interview that has been re-purposed unconvincingly as live smack-talk. More awkward edits, fake crowd noise, and a rehearsed-sounding segue from the announcers all suggest that this episode is pre-taped.
Up next, Steve Blackman challenges for the European title against champion X-Pac. Missing from X-Pac’s side is Chyna, who is on a “leave of absence” following last week’s arrest for failure to appear in court. In reality, Chyna is getting jaw surgery.
After the commercial break, Vince McMahon repeatedly tells his attorneys to break Austin’s legal document.
Blackman has his match with X-Pac well in hand until Steve Regal, clad in jean shorts and flannel, attacks the champion, granting him the disqualification victory. Officials and the available members of DX (just the New Age Outlaws) break up the assault.
Pounding a desk in a room backstage, Vince again demands his lawyers “break” Austin’s legal document somehow. Great idea! Why didn’t those eggheads think of that?
A commercial airs for The Rock’s new “Layin’ the Smack Down” t-shirt, wherein the WWF’s usual pitchman rattles off most of Rocky’s current catchphrases, no doubt to make them sound even cooler.
WWF Raw returns with Michael Cole outside Steve Austin’s locker room. Cole wants to know why the fired Austin is in the arena with his own locker room and a personalized nameplate.
Droz now faces The Rock, who Jim Ross notes is “the number one contender for the vacant WWF title”. Shouldn’t he be the champion, then? Rock is back to his old theme after an unfortunate 24-hour experiment with a theme song that sucked.
Speaking of sucking, Lawler wants to know why Rock is so popular all of a sudden after a year of “Rocky sucks” chants. It’s a fair question, considering Rock is the exact same character he was as a heel. Case in point, Rock takes a swing at Hawk, distracting the referee and allowing Rock to punch Droz square in the balls. After sidestepping a shoulder block, Rock then hits the People’s Elbow (to Jerry Lawler continued befuddlement) for the victory.
After the match, Droz and Hawk get into a verbal altercation, with Animal playing peacemaker. No word on what they were arguing about, but my guess is that Droz is upset that he’s the only one on the team with a stupid haircut, and Animal is reminding him that he and Hawk’s face paint/normal hair combo looks even stupider. Droz and Animal leave without Hawk.
Former war correspondent Michael Cole reports from outside Stone Cold’s locker room, where the former champion says “we” have been advised not to comment.
When WWF Raw returns, Motley Crue will perform “with” X-Pac and the Outlaws, whatever that means.
After a commercial, Vince McMahon’s legal meeting ends, with two lawyers complaining that Vince doesn’t “get it”.
Road Dogg leads his crew (and Crüe) on stage, introducing Mötley Crüe as the “tag team champions of rock and roll”. They must be using the Freebird Rule, as there are clearly four of them. Super-genius Vince Neil wears a shirt saying simply, “F*cker” for the televised performance; some eagle-eyed production member must have spotted the offending word and placed a piece of black tape over the U before they went on stage. Mötley Crüe perform “Wild Side”, with Neil sounding just a a bit flat on vocals; he would remedy this in later years by simply lip-syncing.
While video later recycled for Chris Jericho’s entrance plays on the Titantron, a lone, overzealous Crüe fan hops the rails and wigs out. Luckily, a very bodyguard, identified as “Test”, fireman-carries the guy off the premises.
This Thursday, Vince McMahon will wrestle Steve Austin (in clay form on MTV’s Celebrity Deathmatch).
WWF returns with Vince once again arguing with more lawyers about a contract of some sort.
Kane, one of the participants in the “Deadly Game” at Survivor Series, faces fellow spooky guy Gangrel; Ross calls it “one of the more macabre matchups” in WWF Raw history. Also, Kane is lonely.
The big man pummels Gangrel for the entire match, minus a few bits of interference by Christian, and finishes him with a chokeslam. Christian and Gangrel attempt to double-team Kane after the match, to little avail, until Edge shows up, joins forces with the goths, and makes it a triple team. Still, Kane sits up and causes the trio to retreat, immediately undercutting Edge’s heel turn.
Michael Cole signs off before a commercial break regarding a “McMahon family” statement from Shane McMahon, to be given after WWF Raw returns.
It’s now the WarZone, and Steve Austin is here for what Ross anticipates will be a “very revealing and poignant interview”. He means “pointed”. Austin explains that he technically never threatened Vince McMahon nor lied. He even told the cops the truth last WWF Raw when he called his handgun a toy (albeit without the legally-required orange tip).
And now, Austin has a brand-new WWF contract guaranteeing a title shot. To this, Vince says he’s going to make Steve Austin quit the WWF, starting with an “I Quit” match pitting him against Ken Shamrock.
Vince also says the worst thing Austin did, however, was to turn his “relatively incompetent, underachieving kid” into a monster. No, Austin didn’t make Stephanie McMahon head of Creative, but he secured a contract via Shane.
Shane McMahon then appears, admits he was the one who brought Stone Cold, and cuts a promo (nearly in tears) about never living up to his dad’s expectations. “I guess I’m just like you after all”, Shane says, before “Cat’s in the Cradle” hits.
As Shane leaves the arena, Stone Cold yells, “Hey kid” at the man six years his junior and older than The Rock. Austin tosses him a beer of gratitude.
The announcers recap last week’s Tiger Ali Singh-Godfather segment, one of the lewdest in WWF Raw history, before the two men square off. Jim Ross calls this match Singh’s WWF Raw debut, ignoring his match with Salvatore Sincere last April.
The highlight of the match is a huge pop while nothing of interest is happening in the ring. It turns out, the fans are doing the wave, which Ross praises as free expression. As for the match itself, he referee disqualifies both men for catfighting.
Next month’s Survivor Series not only features a neat theme song, but will be shown “in its entirety”, a dig at last night’s WCW Halloween Havoc fiasco.
When WWF Raw returns, Vince rolls away from a Michael Cole interview crying.
The Oddities’ top four best male workers (Golga, Kurrgan, and the Insane Clown Posse) now face the four members of Kaientai. The big guys re-create their Summerslam match before tagging in Violent J, who tackles and punches Funaki. J hits a side slam and chokes Funaki, and Shaggy 2 Dope hits a top-rope leg drog, before the clowns shove a ref and get disqualified. An irate Luna throws her bouquet at them.
WWF Raw viewers can get a free Survivor Series temporary tattoo on the WWF’s website.
Michael Cole speaks with Ken Shamrock, whose gloves draped over his chest look like a bikini top. Ken Shamrock addresses Austin and says “I quit”—that’s what he *would* say if he weren’t going to beat Stone Cold tonight in their match.
Marvelous Marc Mero faces Goldust in a rematch from In Your House two years ago. JR says both men have had “female problems” (yeast infections?). Mero then gives Goldust some male problems with a punch to the balls. Goldust retaliates by setting up Mero in the corner for Shattered Dreams. Jacqueline then gets on the apron and slaps Goldust, drawing the referee’s attention away from the match. Rather than exploit this distraction to hit Mero low, Goldust instead forces a kiss on Jackie, then kicks Mero right in the groin in full view of the ref, earning a DQ.
Sable emerges to challenge Jacqueline for her Women’s Title at Survivor Series.
WWF Raw returns once again with its workhorse, Michael Cole. He interviews Mankind and Al Snow, who argue over which is stupider: Head or Mr. Socko. Foley argues that Socko is the less inane because he understands it’s just a sock.
The nutty duo challenge the New Age Outlaws (as they will again at Survivor Series 1999) for the tag titles. Mankind imitates Road Dogg’s juking and jiving, which looks like the Funky Chicken. Snow hits the Snow Plow on Road Dogg, but he and Mankind argue over which inanimate object to use next; the distraction allows Road Dogg to school-boy Al for the 1-2-3. D-Lo and Mark Henry, however, cut the celebration short.
WWF Raw returns from its last commercial break, so the remaining nine minutes of the broadcast will air uninterrupted. While Shamrock’s Intercontinental title is not on the line in the main event, if Stone Cold says, “I quit” it counts as a resignation from the WWF (the wrestling equivalent of, “If you die in the game, you die in real life”).
Ken and Steve brawl outside the ring, into the crowd, and back. The stooges interfere, causing Austin to whoop them, while Mankind puts the Mandible Claw on Shamrock. Austin then cracks Shamrock right in the skull; the brain damage is well worth it for a dramatic end to this match no one will remember. Austin then grabs Shamrock’s arm and mimes a tapout, which the referee rules is the same as saying, “I quit”.
