Induction: Macho Man’s Poop Problems – Too Hot to Handle, Too Brown to Drown

50 Submitted by on Thu, 23 July 2015, 20:19

WCW, 1999

It’s safe to say that the Randy Savage of 1999 was not the same Macho Man wrestling fans remembered from the 80s or even the early 90s.

machopoop01

Now substantially bulkier for reasons I won’t speculate about, this Randy Savage was no longer a high-flyer.

machopoop03

Instead of Miss Elizabeth at his side, Macho Man now had a three-woman entourage consisting of Madusa, Miss Madness (Nora Greenwald, aka Molly Holly), and the curiously-named Gorgeous George, who was not the legendary wrestler of the 50s, but Savage’s girlfriend. Originally, WCW had bought the rights to the name “Gorgeous George” so that Randy’s brother Lanny could use it. Though still collecting a 6-figure salary, Lanny never wrestled for WCW, so they gave the legendary moniker to Randy’s girlfriend instead of his brother.

Imagine if Eva Marie had debuted as, I don’t know, “The Sheik.”

"All red everything!"

“All red everything!”

So given all that ridiculousness, what was the harm in putting Savage into what was literally one of the stupidest WCW angles of late spring ’99?

At first, the angle concerned Savage wanting Kevin Nash’s WCW title, but after giving Kevin Nash the standard beating, Macho Man pulled something new from his bag of tricks. Actually, he pulled it from his girlfriend’s bag: lipstick. Frankly, I can think of something much funnier from a woman’s purse to apply to an opponent, but I digress. machopoop05 
machopoop06 Randy then painted Nash’s lips, but rather than just leaving it at that and having the big man wake up and walk around for the rest of the night with lipstick on unknowingly, Randy really went to town with the lipstick, scribbling over Nash’s face so that it looked like warpaint.
Kevin Nash was helpless, except for the moment when a fan tried to jump into the ring, at which point he sat up and became surprisingly alert. machopoop07
machopoop08  The next week, Macho Man did the exact same thing. I’m sure most of the audience failed to see how being made to look like Tatanka was supposed to be some huge indignity…
(at least until about 2005) machopoop09
machopoop10 But to Randy and any seven-year-olds watching, it meant that Kevin Nash was gay and needed to go back in “the closet,” as he put it a week later.
Savage then said that he would face the WCW champion right then and there on Nitro. Instead, he brought out a fake Kevin Nash in a sequined dress, taunting him some more to come out of the closet. machopoop11
machopoop12 They proceeded to have a bogus exhibition match where, despite the fact that this fake Nash was clearly on Savage’s payroll and was only there to make Randy look good, the Macho Man still needed his three valets to interfere on his behalf to win.
And he needed to distract the referee while they did it. If the referee had seen the interference, do you think he would have awarded Fake Kevin Nash the match by disqualification? machopoop13
machopoop14  All the while, Eric Bischoff, clearly out of his element as a babyface announcer, tried to top Macho Man’s childishness by insisting that Miss Madness (the future Molly Holly) was actually a man after performing a huracanrana. At least he didn’t try to say she had a big ass.
So how would Nash respond to these lipstick-and-dress antics? Maybe he’d knock out Randy and give him the full makeup treatment, complete with powder and rouge. Or maybe he’d make Savage wear a dress if he lost his title match at Great American Bash. machopoop15
machopoop16 Kevin Nash did none of these things, instead upping the ante with — care to guess? Poop? Snakes?
Nope. You were right the first time. It was poop. machopoop17
machopoop18  After cutting off Savage’s limo and trapping Randy and his ladies inside, Nash blasted sewage through the sunroof. I assume the “sewage” was really just brown and water, but still, good gravy! Nash clearly had no concept of proportionality.
That would be like Jake Roberts siccing a cobra on Randy for snubbing him on the wedding invitations. Okay, Jake really did do that, but imagine if he had pooped on Randy, instead. machopoop19
machopoop20  The audience at home was lucky enough to get an up-close-and-personal look at Team Madness’s reaction to the hosing. Gee, I hope the camera man didn’t mind getting doused with sewage, too.
The next week on Nitro, Randy Savage came prepared, with revenge on his mind and a bucket of what was implied to be his own feces in his hand. Macho Man said it had been fermenting for a week, meaning that the idea of pooping into a container and dumping it on Kevin Nash had popped into his head immediately after last Monday’s sewage incident, and he never second-guessed it. Or maybe he just pooped in the bucket last Monday and then came up with a plan for it later. machopoop21 
machopoop22  I am the lord and master of kid games,” said Randy as he lugged the tub of his own excrement. This was Macho Man’s idea of a “kid game;” personally, I usually stuck with kickball as a kid, but maybe I just lived a sheltered childhood.
Randy walked to the ring to taunt Nash for hiding from him. He then offered to take on anyone in the locker room but received no immediate response. Surprisingly, no one was willing to challenge Macho Man in the middle of the ring — a ring that contained an open bucket of Savage’s feces. machopoop24 
machopoop25 Finally, Sting showed up to take Macho Man up on his offer for later in the night, further solidifying his reputation as the dumbest man in wrestling.
Minutes later, Kevin Nash came to the ring with his belt and a big piece of luggage to challenge Savage. Randy arrived with his big crap bucket and a microphone to tell Nash, “Yer a stooopid perrrr-siiiiin.” machopoop26
machopoop27 Nobody has ever done that to the Macho Man Randy Savage,” said Macho. Really? That was the first time anyone had ever pumped sewage into his limousine? No kidding. He then insisted that Big Sexy admit he was a monkey.
As Macho carefully brought his bucket into the ring, Nash left in a rush — it may have had to do with the bucket of feces Savage was carrying, but we can’t be sure. machopoop28
machopoop29  Nash wouldn’t get back into the ring, let alone admit he was a monkey, until Macho put down his bucket, at which point Nash’s bag started moving.
A woman emerged from the luggage and dumped the mystery brown sludge onto Macho’s head and pink mohair jacket… machopoop30
machopoop31 …while the announcers howled like some kind of monkeys — howler monkeys, I suppose. Do you think that’s the kind of monkey Kevin Nash wouldn’t admit to being?
Fortunately, WCW’s ring crew quickly sprung into action to clean up Randy Savage’s poop from off the canvas. machopoop32
machopoop33 The whole incident raised some serious questions, such as: Did Kevin Nash hire a female contortionist Monday evening after he saw Savage carrying around the poop bucket?
Did he just make a lucky guess that Randy would retaliate for the limo prank by carrying around a container of his own feces the next week on Nitro? machopoop23
machopoop35 Or did Kevin Nash always carry around a woman in a bag, and it finally came in handy?
Unfortunately, Nash’s bag trick ensured that that night’s Sting-Savage main event would be poop-free, which must have wreaked havoc on their final quarter-hour ratings. machopoop34
machopoop37 Later that night, Savage’s entourage convinced Nash to ride in their limo for a “girls’ night out.” Remember, these are the same people whom Nash had doused in sewage just one week earlier. After trapping them in a limo. Nash got in anyway. I guess Randy was right: Kevin Nash was a stupid person.
It turned out, Savage was in the drivers’ seat, pulling the limo into the path of a white Hummer, which repeatedly rammed into the vehicle with a helpless Kevin Nash trapped inside. Hey! Violence! In the midst of all the lipstick and poop being flung around, I had forgotten you could use violence in a wrestling angle. machopoop38 
machopoop39 A dazed Nash struggle to open the car door and no doubt wondered who was driving the Hummer. He would get his answer at the Great American Bash.
   

 It turned out it was the cameraman Nash sprayed with poop.

I think.

Written by

A wrestling fan ever since the days of Wrestlemania IX, Art graduated from college in the same building where Art Donovan called King of the Ring 1994. He also runs the "How Much Does This Guy Weigh?" blog, where he reviews New Generation-Era Monday Night Raws. Follow him on Twitter @Art0Donnell. Email at: art@wrestlecrap.com
50 Responses to "Induction: Macho Man’s Poop Problems – Too Hot to Handle, Too Brown to Drown"
  1. WrestleTrekker says:

    You know, I’m a trans woman. The first part of this storyline, or “MAKEUP ON GUYS LOL” should have me grievously offended. The idea of “GUY WEARS LIPSTICK HE MUST BE GAY LOL” should have me screaming in rage.
    But it didn’t. Instead, by 1999, I was just so done with WCW that my only reaction was a muffled “Meh.” WCW was so bad that it couldn’t even induce rage into me.

  2. Sean O says:

    Hmm, that ending; a segue into a potential induction of the white humvee angle???

  3. Autrach Sejanoz says:

    The link for ”The announcers howled’ leads to the ‘Nash is in the closet’ soundbite.

  4. Pete says:

    I had seen that picture of Kevin Nash with the lipstick before but didn’t know the story behind it, so nice to finally get some context…I think.

    Also [insert Slim Jims being in Macho Man’s poop joke here]

  5. kmtown says:

    Is it just me, or does every angle in WCW during their logo-with-tailfins era seem crappy?

  6. "The Big Cheese" Paul Kraft says:

    I know an induction’s gonna be good when the Title line makes me laugh out loud. Nice job, Art!

  7. Fake Fake Razor Ramon says:

    Up until this time I was flipping back and forth between Raw and Nitro every Monday but after watching this, I was done with Nitro and WCW as a whole.

  8. John C says:

    WCW: Where the big boys spray (poop). Another original WCW angle, I can’t imagine any other sports entertainment company that ever did a fecally driven storyline. Eric Bischoff took them from the outhouse and right back into the outhouse. That’s the worst fake laughter I’ve heard since it was me hitting on a really hot girl but she told jokes about as well as Todd Pettingill. I’m ashamed to admit that I did the job and laughed at a really bad joke. But unlike a Nitro or Thunder this did have a happy ending. WOOOOO!!!!! Talking WCW really poops me out.

    • Dustin DeWinde says:

      Well, there was the whole Eddie/Big Show thing, and to lesser extents the Hog Pen and Kennel from Hell matches all had a lot to do with poop as the fecal point of the feuds

      • Nicholas Nutter says:

        Don’t forget DX dousing the McMahons.

        • Cameron A. says:

          There was also Vickie Guerrero’s 2014 firing: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TDbxKHhotus

          WWE tends to pass a feces-related item concerning the McMahons once every few years. It’s almost WWE’s duty.

        • Sean Wilkinson says:

          And Davey Boy Smith getting Rock Bottomed onto a tray of “THE DOG POOP!! THE DOG POOP!!” (Many thanks to Michael Cole for his hysterical call of this particular play.)

      • Billy says:

        Didn’t the Hart/Lawler Kiss My Foot match, a stipulation that Lawler wanted, have Lawler preparing by walking around barefoot in a horse stable?

      • Guest says:

        The Kennel from hell didn’t have any poop related content unless your getting that from the dubbed over version featuring Kevin Kelly on commentary.

    • Barronmore says:

      Actually WWE did a fecal matter storyline staring Eddie Gurarreo, Big Show, and a burrito. You can read all about it in the Archives! But the short is…its been done…several times…and its always crap.

      • Caveman says:

        The “nWo” version with Shawn Michaels, X-Pac, Nash, Big Show and Booker T was very poop-driven as well.

        Also there was the time when Jerry Lawler pooped into a pool and TL Hopper (or whatever The Dirty White Boy’s name was in WWF) ate it.

        • Jimbolian says:

          Actually, it was one of those “Vince saw a 15-year-old movie for the first time” moments when the turd was really a Baby Ruth bar.

    • John C says:

      Stone Cold started the modern era of going brown when he tossed Goldust into a porta potty back in late ’97. I think Mr. Hankey has been an uncredited member of the writing staff for years.

    • Jimbolian says:

      I’m guessing when they were filming Ready To Rumble, they had a surplus of fake liquid feces from the movie so WCW said screw it and used it for an angle.

  9. ChrisV says:

    Soon after this, Macho Man’s WCW career came to an abrupt end when Dennis Rod man tossed him in a port-a-potty.
    I thought that was this induction when I saw it on the main page. I guess I just erased this whole thing from my memory.
    I guess this was par for the course with Macho Man’s final few months in WCW…

    • Foreign Object says:

      I had the same thought. I’ve spent years trying to find that promo where Rodman said something like “Hey. Macho Asshole. What, you mad cause I had sex wit yo girl? Once you go black, you never go back!” Meanwhile Macho is cussing up a storm while Bischoff furiously orders their mics to be cut.

  10. AK says:

    I don’t remember this angle at all (lucky me I guess?) but did this culminate in, I don’t know..an actual match between the two? What’s wrong with having a good ol’ fashioned wrestling match to settle the score?

    What I do remember is Survivor Series 1993 when Macho Man eliminated Diesel from the match with his patented flying elbow drop. Naturally they couldn’t mention the actual match in WCW but I’m sure they could have creatively snuck it in to add some actual sizzle to the feud. They had no problem making reference to the Ultimate Warrior and Hulk Hogan’s past when the two were feuding in WCW.

    It’s just a thought.

    • Art0Donnell says:

      They had a match at the Bash that ended in DQ when Sid interfered. Macho won the title the next month in a tag team match and lost it to Hogan the next night.

  11. Preparation Triple H says:

    It’s literally WrestleCrap.

  12. Mister Forth says:

    Literal WrestleCrap from WCW’s dying days.

  13. OPC says:

    Wow, WWE actually copied something WCW did?

    Also, I can’t believe that Macho Man had a jenkum jug with him.

    • OPC says:

      It’s surprising though that it took this long for this to be inducted, considering Big Show and Eddie got inducted years ago.

  14. Casey says:

    “After cutting off Savage’s limo and trapping Randy and his ladies inside, Nash blasted sewage through the sunroof. I assume the “sewage” was really just brown and water, but still, good gravy!”

    I can’t be, I simply can’t be the only person to think that maybe WCW somehow managed to screw this up by using actual sewage because it never occurred to anyone that it could be faked.

    I mean I’m not saying they did but with WCW even this is possible and I say this as someone who was a WCW fan until the bitter, bitter end.

    • "The Big Cheese" Paul Kraft says:

      I don’t think even WCW was so stupid as to risk everyone’s health by using real sewage. That would be a lawsuit (well, several lawsuits) waiting to happen.

  15. The Doctor of Style says:

    Was Bischoff auditioning to play the Joker? Almost a full minute of screeching laughs (from him, not us!).

    Listen carefully and Heenan is quiet for almost the whole thing. Who can blame him? He looks so sad.

  16. Cameron Fowler says:

    Awesome Simpsons reference with the “brown and water/good gravy” stuff. Outstanding.

  17. Vic Phenom says:

    Let’s just hope no one in the WWE reads this and buys the rights to the Sheik’s name to give to Eva Marie.

  18. Jimbolian says:

    WCW dropped the ball (or is it turd?) on the Humvee angle. Guess who was originally intended to be revealed was the driver of the white Humvee?

    C’mon take a wild guess.

    Dan Severn. E-yup.

  19. The Gil-Monster says:

    “Yer a stupid PER-seeyon” is now my new ringtone.

  20. Idi 'Big Daddy' Amin says:

    Imagine a world where Randy had retired after leaving the WWF and left the memories alone. I like to think it would look something like Lionel Hutz’ ‘world without lawyers’.

    This is just diabolical. The Macho Man deserved better.

  21. The Rank says:

    Your forgetting the NWO style paid announcement that Nash did – something along the lines of “this segment is brought to you by Louis Septic Services!” Still something I say from time to time (to my cat) after cleaning the litter tray. The Mrs doesn’t understand, but whatever. I have my memories.

  22. gobias says:

    “Now substantially bulkier for reasons I won’t speculate about, this Randy Savage was no longer a high-flyer.”

    I believe it was described in The Death of WCW as “he came back so muscular it looked as though he’d been pumped full of air at a service station”.

  23. Alexandru says:

    Now substantially bulkier for reasons I won’t speculate about, this Randy Savage was no longer a high-flyer. Haha Nice. Randy is great and all but he definitely went overboard on the roids at this point. Yeah don’t really get wrestling’s obsession with crap supposedly being “funny”. Crap is well crap

  24. ZeroSignal says:

    The mystery Hummer driver has to be inducted now! Nicely done, as usual.

  25. "The Big Cheese" Paul Kraft says:

    Love the Bobby Brown reference in the title.

  26. AdamX says:

    The same guy driving the hummer was responsible for pulling the briefcase up at KotR 99…

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