INDUCTION: Super Shane McMahon – Beware The Power of His Invisible Punches!

86 Submitted by on Tue, 23 February 2016, 12:00

supershane0WWE, 2009

I like Shane McMahon.

Really, I do.  I’m not sure why, but I’ve always found him to be the most likable of all the McMahons outside of Vince.  Maybe he’s the lesser of two evils with Steph, who I find to be absolutely nails on the chalkboard and married to a guy who always has me reaching for the channel changer.

If ever you needed proof that RD Reynolds is completely out of any desirable demographic, I provide you with the fact that I just used the term “channel changer.”

Back to Shane.  As a performer, he was alright.  He was awful as a color commentator (watch an early Sunday Night Heat if you want proof), but in the ring, yeah, I felt he was ok.  I know some people who thought he was the second coming of Ric Flair and others who thought he was absolutely terrible.  At the end of the day, I always viewed him as the Joie Chitwood of wrestling; a stunt man who wasn’t quite Evel Knievel, but he tried hard and was applauded by many.

Sometimes, though, he, or should I say the company, took things a bit too far….and that’s what we’re here to discuss today.

It was the beginning of 2009, and Randy Orton was WWE’s lead heel.  In retrospect, it feels kinda weird to write that sentence. I wrote 2009, but that’s a line where you could pretty much pop in any year after 2003 and it would still be accurate.  I could have written, “It was the beginning of 2006, and Randy Orton was WWE’s lead heel.”  Or maybe “It was the beginning of 2011, and Randy Orton was WWE’s lead heel.”  And would it really shock anyone if I went with “It was the beginning of 2038, and Randy Orton was WWE’s lead heel”?

Anyway, Orton was the lead heel in the company and was feuding with the McMahons (another statement that is seemingly timeless, and not necessarily in a good way).  In fact, he was so vile that he punted Grandpa Vinny right in the noggin!

And it was so vicious they covered the screen in a blood red filter.

Evil.  Cold.  Dastardly!

That’s you Randy Orton!

With that in mind, it only made sense for Stephanie to fire Orton.  But Randy saw that coming a mile away and thus countered with…

supershane01

LAWYERS!

AND THERAPISTS!

You see, Randy had a medical condition called IED – Intermittent Explosive Disorder.  (For some reason, I wanted to type “Diarrhea” to end that sentence; pretty sure that’s a plot device WWE has used before.) Anyway, here’s Randy to explain his condition in the most monotone, boring, “I can’t believe I am having to recite this dialogue” manner possible.

Randy continues (and I won’t bore you with an audio clip because honestly it ain’t worth firing up Audio Hijack to nab) telling us that he will sue WWE if Steph does attempt to terminate his contract.

Not sure about anyone else, but I sure do love it when lawsuits are involved in wrestling!  That’s just good old fashioned fun that Bill Watts would nod his cowboy hat adored skull at!

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We cut backstage to a reaction shot and I won’t lie, all I notice is that Stephanie appears to be one being with the couch she is sitting on.  Like I really don’t know where the couch ends and her pants begin.  In my mind’s eye, I picture Sandra the WWE Seamstress making her knickers out of the backside of the couch.

SPEAKING OF Sandra…

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At least I think that’s true.  First match on Google for “WWE Seamstress” gave me this Twitter account, which I am guessing is more accurate than this one where she is  swearing and copping a feel on Naomi. Regardless, you can follow me here.

I don’t know of any fake RD Reynolds accounts, although I have probably just set myself up for some, likely ones where I am swearing and copping a feel on Naomi.

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Anyway, eventually Steph calls out Orton, nostrils flaring and her throaty voice sounding like she’s gone from 2 packs of Marlboro Lights to a case of Kool Menthols a day.  Seriously, no idea what happened to her voice, but it is pretty scary.  Here, watch this idiotic segment with Hunter and WrestleCrap inductee LUCY THE DOG

…then watch Raw this Monday night and explain to me what happened.

In fact, free WrestleCrap archive access to whoever posts the best answer below.

supershane04

Randy counters with his lawyer, who somehow sounds even more monotone than Randy did in that clip above.  This was a rib, right?  Everyone got together backstage and decided to see just how boring they could be?  That’s the only thing that could possibly explain this “performance” being aired on national television.

The endgame of all this is that Orton and his team have decided that unless he main events WrestleMania, which he had the legal right to do as he had won the Royal Rumble, then they would file an injunction and this year there would be NO WrestleMania.

Let’s see, that would have been WrestleMania 25.

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Outside of Shawn vs. Taker, would it have really been THAT great of a loss?

Especially since we got Shawn vs. Taker again the following year?

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Somehow this threat causes the “entire WWE locker room” to come out on the stage.  I always love it when they do this, because you really see who the real stars are on the show as they never appear.  If you ever want to see how the WWE higher ups want to separate the wheat from the chaff, just watch that the next time they do it (and you won’t have to wait long I am sure as it’s on their lazy susan of booking crutches).

Like, look at that image above.  You see John Cena?  Big Show?  Edge?  Nope nope nope.  I guess that these guys on stage were going to make sure that this threat didn’t go through, as they would have missed the biggest pay day of the year.

NEWS FLASH: HALF OF THOSE GUYS WEREN’T ON THE SHOW!!!!

 

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Randy notes that he doesn’t care about any of them and turns back to Stephanie, begging to be terminated.  “Firing you would be too easy,” seethed Steph. “We have BIGGER plans for you!”

Here comes the money.

Here comes the money indeed.

The geeks who were never going to be part of WrestleMania part like the red sea for the appearance of the REAL star of the show, Shane McMahon…

…stopping just long enough to take off his jacket and giving us time to notice how much he was really starting to resemble a grown up Peter Brady.

peterbrady

Just when you begin to think this segment cannot possibly get any more absurd, we swing to a shot of Stephanie bee bopping to the music in what may be the worst dancing I’ve ever seen in pro wrestling.

And consider the ground that covers!

So tough guy Shane gets in the ring and rolls up his sleeves…

…as Randy slowly backs away.

Ok, look.  I said before I like Shane.  He was an ok wrestler.  But you have Randy Orton, your top heel in the company, the guy who is about to HEADLINE WRESTLEMANIA…and he starts backing off?

From SHANE MCMAHON?!

And remember when I said things couldn’t get any more ridiculous?

I was wrong.

So very, VERY wrong.

Did I mention I was wrong?

So very, very, very, very, very wrong.

Somehow this leads to Randy collapsing on the floor…

…while Shane shadow boxes poor Kofi Kingston for good measure.

I should note Kofi has never been a heel before 2015.  This means he was not a heel in 2009.  But ya gots to show the peeps just how tough Shano Mac is!

So what did all this lead to?  Well, the next week Orton came out and explained that the reason they looked like such chumps is because he and his guys didn’t fight back.  Seriously, that’s what the man said.  It also led to a couple of rather boring matches which I am too exhausted to recap.  And yes, it lead to the return of Triple H so he could fight for his family’s legacy at WrestleMania 25.

I should note that this rivalry, in which Randy Orton punted Hunter’s father-in-law and brother-in-law led to such bad blood that they began their match with a lock up.  They followed that up with possibly the least heated WrestleMania main event ever, one where people were literally heading to the exit mid match.

But that, friends, is an induction for another day.

 

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86 Responses to "INDUCTION: Super Shane McMahon – Beware The Power of His Invisible Punches!"
  1. The Doctor of Style says:

    Sorry RD, I ain’t watchin’ Raw this Monday, but I can give you a good caption for those gifs of Shane punching in the ring:

    “Gimme back my Shredder figure!”

  2. Matthew says:

    The reason for Stephanie’s voice is that Vince is slowly taking over her body and soul via ancient Sumerian rituals found in the nerconomicon.

  3. Aaron Whitehead says:

    Explanation: Steph’s office has been downwind of Michael Hayes’ for 15 years. It’s a wonder she can talk without a vocorder.

  4. Fake Fake Razor Ramon says:

    At least Peter Brady actually made contact with Marcia (via a football).

  5. Dan Butera says:

    Stephanie’s voice was so hoarse from “jobbing” to Triple H the night before.

  6. AddMan says:

    Her voice is throaty clearly because Vinnie Mac performed some unholy ritual that has allowed Vince to posess his daughter’s body. (Which is also why we haven’t seen him in a while.) That way he never truly loses control of WWE. It does get weird during relations with HHH though.

  7. TheBlerdGuy says:

    Her voice is throaty because since 2009, she has been absorbing Vince’s lifeforce. That way she can become the New Supreme.

  8. Autrach Sejanoz says:

    Anybody else notice in the IED soundbite that right after Randy says “…something that I’ve been living with my entire life…” a fan immediately yells “HERPES!”

  9. Sean Bateman says:

    I hope Ghost Boxing with Shane dot com isn’t taken.

  10. 6forSorrow says:

    I’m fascinated by the years I stopped watching wrestling (2003ish to 2011?) and I love to read the inductions from that time period, because I literally have NO IDEA where these angles are going. Was Stephanie McMahon, Top Babyface really a thing?

  11. Doc 902714 says:

    Her voice could have been like that for any number of reasons. Maybe she was feeling a little HOARSE. Or she could have caught a COLT. Or she really needed some cough STIRRUP. Either one of those could have SPURred on her throaty voice

  12. DarthPitch says:

    The Fake RD Twitter account should, of course, be @FDReynolds…for Fake Deal Reynolds, obviously. Somebody make it so!

  13. Peter Smith says:

    One Word: Puberty (Being that she was “Daddy’s Girl” in 2001/02) or she’s trying out for a role in WWE Studio’s Brian Pillman Story

  14. John C says:

    Shane-O-Mac’s punches were so super humanly fast like The Flash that the wind speed he generated was enough to send The Apex Predator reeling. His days leading The Mean Street Posse made him hard and fast.

  15. Guest says:

    Just when you begin to think this segment cannot possibly get any more absurd, we swing to a shot of Stephanie bee bopping to the music in what may be the worst dancing I’ve ever seen in pro wrestling.

    You got J.R. doing the spinoroonie

    Vince doing some awkward looking nonsense during a segment (with Ernest Miller I think)

    And a few other instances too numerous to name and this is the worst of the worst?

  16. phillip says:

    ya that segment is horrible and sadly i just have to admit it even though i am also a Shane McMahon fan. Also speaking of horrible, wwe network just an hour or so ago added the april 14th, 97 raw. This is the one that had a horrible simulcast from south africa. It is considered to be one of the worst raws ever, and is also known for being the final straw that broke the camels back and the reason vince decided to make vince russo the new head writer of raw because he wanted raw to be just like the raw magazine that russo had been writing for. i think it should definitely be inducted soon.

  17. ZeroSignal says:

    Vince knows his days are numbered at this point, so he announced in his will that his heel powers go to Stephanie.

    Stephanie’s only getting herself ready for when that day comes.

  18. Jonathan Michaels says:

    I think everyone is overcomplicating it, the reason for her voice getting like that is simply that she is Vince Mcmahon’s daughter, she inherited the passion for the wrestling business and the increasingly growly voice.

    While Shane inherited the business acumen and the hair.

    Plus the fact that she’s had kids and sometimes it affects the hormones, sometimes women’s voice gets a little deeper after having kids.

    Hey, you said you wanted the BEST answer, not the funniest.

  19. CP says:

    Ah, Kools…good thing I stopped smoking them, then, so my voice wouldn’t have turned out like Stephanie McMahon’s.

    (I’m a dude…and quit smoking eleven years ago…but still…)

  20. Brad Essex says:

    Her voice so bad from screaming at daddy to give her a new title no one on earth ever had and also a golden egg!

  21. Wally says:

    The reason for Steph’s voice is she was testing the waters for a Gozer angle. That also explains where Lucy the dog was ultimately going, she would become Zuul.

  22. Dadantheman22 says:

    The explanation for her voice is simple really. Hunter’s penis is that huge.

  23. alantheempire says:

    The answer is obvious to all conspiracy theorists, anyone that runs the company for a significant period of time finds that their TV voice turns into this growling, vindictive character, due to a curse placed on Vince by his father due to the controversial nature of the WWWF sale.
    Sure, it’s just the voice now, but soon her hair will go silver, she’ll develop an addiction to bodybuilding and lose all contact with topicality and current events.
    The worst part of the curse is that HHH will become financially astute but lose all presentation skills, such is the after effect to those who marry into the McMahon bloodline.
    Shane didn’t leave to do Far East business, his soul was ritually cleansed with a vial of Dusty Rhodes’ blood and a Jakks figure of the Undertake in Ministry garb. Don’t believe the lies, sheeple!

  24. Jordan says:

    The reason for Stephanie’s voice change, to go up in the business, you gotta go DOWN! Down where? DOWN THERE!

  25. Robberino says:

    The repeated punches in the throat from Chyna took their toll.

  26. Kyle Kincaid says:

    Because Eric Bischoff’s kiss was so manly she grew testicles as a result. Controversy Creates Nads.

  27. Matt Soileau says:

    He seems to have an invisible touch, yeah…

  28. Funkasaurus says:

    Stephanie’s voice was damaged in a terrible accident during her fake talent implant.

  29. C. Peter Roberts says:

    Stephanie’s voice changing is a rare incident of long-term storytelling on the part of WWE. Way back when Undertaker kidnapped Steph and performed that ritual thingy on her? It was to make her a conduit for the long-dormant soul of the being who would ultimately control and then destroy WWF/E….the REAL Higher Power….

    LUCILLE BALL.

    It was her, Desi. It was her, all along.

    • Jimbolian says:

      That reminds me! Wanna see (actually hear) what happens when you put Billy West as Lucy?

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NhnXmcX4hHk

  30. The 'House says:

    Why is Stephanie’s voice so hoarse? Before every big WWE meeting, Vince McMahon requires that Stephanie warm up by screaming 15 “You’re Fired”s before anyone else arrives. It is part of the agreement in her eventual taking over of the company. She’s done this before every meeting for the last 15 years. I’m surprised her voice hasn’t reached Harvey-Fierstein levels of rasps yet.

  31. King Of Kings says:

    The whole thing with Steph is towards the end of 2002 when she was GM of Smackdown her voice started to be noticably different. A little more deeper. The reason being is because she has had to have surgery before which caused her voice to be a little more raspy although I can’t remember off the top of my head what the surgery was for and Google isn’t being a big help right now. But that is as close to the real explanation as you’re going to get I’m afraid.

    As for Shane and his phantom punching, I like to think that mabey he was thinking “Eh if I hit him I’ll kill him, but if I don’t then the wind behind the punch will give him pneumonia and he’ll die anyway so win-win”.

  32. Geoff says:

    And now…for something completely different

  33. Geoff says:

    What I’m wondering is, the headline is about Shane. But he doesn’t make an appearance until 2 paragraphs till the end. The rest of the story is about Randy Orton, the McMahon family, his lawyers, and therapists. This was a good induction but like Vince Russo we got a swerve! You talked more about Orton and Stephanie than you did Shane and I fail to see how this story made him wrestlecrap worthy. I see that this story made Randy Orton wrestlecrap worthy and Stephanie punchline worthy… (insert own joke here)

    Maybe you could put this in the headlie section or sometime.

  34. Cameron A. says:

    I have one thing to say about Shane-o-Mac’s phantom punches: “I’m not touching you! Does this bug you? I’m not touching you!”

    As for Stephanie’s voice, she’s in training for when she plays Dr. Girlfriend in a Venture Brothers movie adaptation…or she’s doing a subtle mockery of Macho Man Randy Savage that no one has, as yet, picked up on.

  35. Falcone says:

    Explanation: Stephanie is the vessel of Gozer the Gozarian. The only reason she has yet to attempt to conquer mankind is because she is convinced Cena is either a god or a ghostbuster.

  36. Enhancement Talent 2, Mark III says:

    Another great induction.
    That fake Seamstress Sandra twitter account is effing hilarious too.

  37. Bryan Callahan says:

    Well, clearly Steph, Triple H and Chyna were having a threesome at some point in the early 2000’s and when Chyna was choking Steph with her huge penis, something in Steph’s vocal chords was damaged. Seriously, listen to Triple H, Steph and Waltman. Tell me Chyna doesn’t damage vocal chords.

  38. neverAcquiesce says:

    Bottom-feeding out of a trashbag wreaks havoc on one’s voice.

  39. Down With OPC says:

    Steph’s voice going hoarse…or should I say horse…was due to Trips needing another reason to make fun of Lilian Garcia.

  40. Adam says:

    Want a less convincing Orton speech? I read an interview a few years back, with him almost trying to defend the angle.

    “People were too rough on it… I mean, Shane works out. He’d be hard in a real fight, I think.”

  41. ZeroSignal says:

    Also, gotta say that one thing I couldn’t stand about this feud was when Orton punted Vince. If Orton wanted to be taken seriously as a heel, he would have either done the Orton pose after said punt, or something equally awesome/heelish.

    Instead, Orton immediately jumped into a state of panic/shock/regret seconds after punting the chairman in the skull.

  42. TheDominusIgnis says:

    Her voice is like that because behind all the makeup and fake breast implants she is really an 80 year old woman, people just tend to look better on TV. (Don’t ask for Vince’s age, for even the oldest historians couldn’t tell you)

  43. Mister Forth says:

    Boy was this angle ridiculous looking back.

  44. Jeremy says:

    One of the main issues with this whole angle was it was hard to buy any of the McMahons as the faces in the feud. They were overbearing bosses who manipulated their employees. In 1998, Steve Austin became the biggest face in the company by defying them. In 2009, Randy Orton does the same thing and is somehow the villain. Stephanie and Shane hadn’t been on screen much since 2006 at this point, while Vince came back from the stage collapsing on him the previous summer. But the last time we saw any of them, they were all portrayed as dastardly heels, so why were we supposed to all of the sudden cheer them? At least 4 years later, they turned Stephanie and Triple H heel again (with Orton on their side lol), its just a more natural role for them, even if they still can be boarish and overbearing.

    As for Shane, its kind of sad this was his last run in the company, but I hated it that he was able to fight off 3 men all by himself for several weeks. But that wasn’t exclusive to him. Triple H, Batista and Cena all were able to fight Legacy single-handedly with little problem.

  45. lipe.cl says:

    let’s say that the real stephanie mcmahon died after she was overthrown as GM of smackdown, and Triple H, being a huge fan of the Beatles (even though he never arranged for ringo or macca to sing his titantron song, so he had no choice but to ask lemmy to do it), knew about the William Campbell theory, and asked Chyna to undergo plastic surgery in order to be the exact lookalike of steph. However, there’s one aspect of the proceeding that could never be repaired, and that’s her voice; because of some strange corcumstance, even though joanie took every single estrogen on good God’s face, she was totally inmune to it; therefore, her voice never was girly. Hunter, though, wasn’t all pissed about it, and he eventually came to love that aspect of his wife. End of story

    Great induction, by the way

  46. Deathedge says:

    I like to think Steph’s voice got hoarse after yelling at her Dad that no, she was not going to be a part of an incest storyline. I picture Vince getting down on his knees begging her to do it, but she just screams no. The issue gets dropped for years, but than Vince flirts with the idea of making Triple H his bastard child, leading to her making her voice hoarse again and ruining her voice even more.

  47. s1mon86 says:

    Do you guys still have the Shane’O’Mac-Trolla? I remember that was the most vicious trolla product ever

  48. PlasticDiverGuy says:

    The explanation is simple. Back in 2001, WWE bought all of WCW’s assets. Included in those assets was Ole Anderson’s voice box. After 20 years, the batteries were running pretty low…

  49. Tom says:

    For those that know what I’m on about, Shadow Boxing with Shane McMahon sounds like an Alan Partridge programme.

  50. Ryan says:

    Steph’s voice sounds like that because she likes big butts and she cannot lie.

  51. Alexandru says:

    Yeah those punches are cringeworthy. I like Shane too as he clearly is the most sane Mcmahon and got out of WWE while the getting was good, and doing well with his OnDemand service. But while he gave it his all in the ring, and an alright character he had no business beating up Orton. He’s a nonwrestler and I couldn’t suspend my disbelief for it in the slightest

  52. Mr B says:

    About Steph’s voice, she took over the writing team in 2000. I think what we’ve seen happen over time is the result of vocal cord strain from screaming at her staff “No! You need to make Triple H look stronger!”

  53. Confused says:

    Fun induction, but I have a few questions. Wasn’t the Brand split still a real thing in 2009, weren’t Cena, Edge and Big Show all on SmackDown at the time? Isn’t Michaels/Undertaker from WM 25 supposed to be the greatest Mania match ever (or at least top five)? Is it possible Trips is slipping his wife something (phrasing) to turn her into Chyna, (the voice, Muscle and Fitness cover…)? Finally, how does one tell heel Orton from face Orton or even tweener Orton? The moveset, facial expressions and vocals are all the same.

    Thanks for the help.

    • CP says:

      Edge and Big Show were on Smackdown but they left Cena on Raw. Don’t forget the PPV before Mania where Edge wormed his way into the WHC Elimination Chamber match. That’s where all the confusion was created.

  54. HawLucha says:

    Actually the real explanation would be that Steph’s high-pitched voice at the time of her debut was to reflect on her innocence during Vince’s swerve feud with the Undertaker and subsequent Hower Power revelation “IT’S ME AUSTIN! IT WAS ME ALL ALONG AUSTIN!” She started to squeal annoyingly on purpose the moment she turned on Daddy at Armageddon up until her position as Smackdown’s General Manager (that was PRIOR to her marriage and knock-up by Triple H but a year after the boob jokes immortalized by Y2J) which marked the moment she sounded more natural and professional, again to reflect her then-new position. No jokes there but it DOES set up for a super-lame one I made:

    The ORIGINAL storyline was that Orton was going to sue Steph for making him crazy with her She-Vince voice hence the switch of theme songs:

    I HEAR VOICES IN MY HEAD

    SHE’S GONNA FIRE ME!

    SHE SOUNDS LIKE HER DAD

    IT’S STEPHANIE’S!

  55. Laboratory Tuxedo says:

    I think Stephanie tripped over Triple H’s shoe at home and landed onto a skateboard which sent her into a trampoline, the trampoline bounced her up and she flew into a nearby park, where she was sent into the merry go-round. She spun around and the momentum of the spinning sent her into a Wal-Mart where she smashed through a pile of oranges. Steph kept shooting through aisles until she went through the Wal-Mart wall and flew around the Earth twice. She landed back at home, without a scratch. However, she forgot to pack her Airbourne for travel, and got sick. She got strep throat, and her voice hasn’t been the same since.

  56. 80's Guy says:

    What happened is really very simple, she got a reverse Jenner.

    From now on she demands to be called Bruce-anie.

  57. AdamX says:

    Steph is really Dr. Girlfriend and one Monday Hunter will be revealed in his true for…THE MONARCH!

  58. Jerichoholic Ninja says:

    So much to cover here. Yup, the McMahons have a history of making themselves out to be equals to the top stars, from Vince saying he could have easily beaten Bret Hart in a real fight in the aftermath of the Screwjob, to Shane being a key member of the alliance team, to Stephanie desperately trying to get a match with Ronda Rousey, presumably so she can then “last longer in the ring” with her than anyone else (if it does happen, anything more than a 10 second squash would be really stupid).

    If memory serves, they were setting the groundwork for a HHH/Edge match at Mania (including an angle with Trips and Vickie to set it up that was then never mentioned again), but then they suddenly and bizarrely switched things around so we got a forgotten Triple Threat for the World Title, and this, a rehash of an overdone feud that resulted in one of the most boring main events in Mania history.

  59. THe Green Bastard says:

    Steph smoked a pack of radioactive marboros given to her by the ultimate warrior in the disguise of an elderly bag lady, who who was soon chased out of the WWE building by Vince with a broom. THe warrior would end up wearing the disguise for a full year during which he’d make a mrs.doubtfire porno and win the TNA impact belt from a cardboard cutout of hulk hogan brought in after dixie carter was shooed of the leg of the real one.

  60. Jimbolian says:

    I think we’re underestimating Shane’s powerful punches. He may have not landed them; but what we didn’t know that Shane-O-Mac was taught boxing by Mae Young’s hand and learned the deadly technique of the “Stinkfist” and….yeah….I’ll stop there.

    Oh, and Stephanie’s voice? Justin Henry summed it best in a previous induction:

    “It’s like (Vince) impregnated Judy Garland, and she smoked every single Marlboro on the planet while (Stephanie) was in utero.”

  61. Peter says:

    Stephanie’s voice is because of her genital herpes. To explain, Steph got herpes a while back from Jericho. Vince invested in an experimental new drug called Cunnicuntis to help his daughter and then hopefully prevent any grand-kids from coming out weird. The pills ended up massaging Steph’s teryactic gland, causing her tso-chy-ken artery to tighten and make her ehgrohl tube permanently alter her voice. On the downside she’s still not cured of the herpes, but it gave her the ability psychically neuter anyone within her line of sight, thus why no one ever interrupts her anymore unless they pass a Will save.

  62. Barronmore says:

    see, what you guys don’t understand is that shane is an Air Bender! He can channel forces of air with his non connecting punches that do FAR MORE DAMAGE then his wimpy fists alone could do! Those fists are creating ninja like forces of pure air that are concussing Randy…i’m sure if you look hard enough you can see the ripples of air current moving…

    But that also explains why for the last 13 years he’s disappeared. He had to return back to the mystic temple to complete League of Assassin training. Now he can kill you with a mere glance of his eyes! Of course it makes sense that Vince has to fight fire with fire with his own Voodoo magic wielding undead zombie wrestler. What choice did he have…

  63. Chris D says:

    Stephanie’s voice is very easily explained. Her voice has been moving through the Evolutionary Chart of Wrestling Women, which as we all know begins with ditzy Maria Kanelles and ends with a solidly 80-year old Mae Young. Stephanie started her WWE career at full Maria, transitioned into a hybrid between Maria and Chyna after marrying HHH on TV (insert weird implications here), morphed again into the Sable/Sherri Martel phase when she became GM of Raw and became more Sherri-like until she arrived at the Linda McMahon/Luna Vachon when she’s angry level we’re at now. She will probably go full Luna in 5 years, finally reaching the Mae Young level in 2025.

  64. Gerard says:

    OK I admit it I don’t know the rules of hell in a cell or how you win it. But here’s what I wanna see….have the Undertaker come into the cell carrying a chair…no not to beat Shane with don’t get ahead of me..taker sits down on the chair and takes out a book or newspaper and reads while Shane escapes the cell….or….taker looks at Shane and says do you want me to help you climb out of here??? Jump on my I’ll boost you out. If Shane hasto win by pin, taker needs to lay on the mat and let Shane pin him!! This is the one match taker needs to lose!!! I am curious to see what Shane can do with raw cause there’s no way he could screw things up any worse than his sister has!!!

  65. Gabe Benson says:

    Stephanie’s Voice = Macho Man. It’s true, it’s damn true!

  66. Michael says:

    Joie Chitwood?

    Nah, man, THAT reference proves your not in any significant demographic.

  67. Mister Forth says:

    Well this means Taker will beat him at Summerslam 2017.

  68. Michael says:

    Here’s a boring sort of scientific explanation for Stephanie’s voice. We have see plenty of evidence over the years for what a terrible actor she is. Actors are trained how to shout, scream etc to not damage their voices. Stephanie clearly wasn’t.

  69. Mark says:

    Stephanie got voice lessons from Bea Arthur

  70. Rodolfo Rodríguez (That Lucha Guy) says:

    Yes please, induct WM 25 Main Event!

  71. y2k890 says:

    I dunno. The guy rubbing his nipples in the miz shirt on Saturday Morning Slam was worse than Steph’s headbob there.

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