Induction: The 1994 Slammy Awards – Hosted by two real pains in the year-end

55 Submitted by on Thu, 14 January 2016, 20:00

WWF, 1994

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One of the more tiresome aspects of WWE these days is the announce team. With all of the piped-in cliches, bickering, and banter covering everything but the action of the match at hand, it’s enough to make a viewer just mute the audio altogether, even it means not finding out from the crowd whether or not a match is awesome.

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So when I heard JBL claim that Jerry Lawler had won the 1994 Slammy Award for “Mouthiest,” I thought he was just making yet another of his baseless claims (like shouting, “Ball game!” during what is clearly a wrestling match). Everyone who stuck with the WWF through the lean years of the mid-90s knows that the Slammy Awards weren’t brought back until 1996, when The King won the “I’m Talking and I Can’t Shut Up” award.

Stupid JBL.

Weeks, perhaps months later, I was browsing Wikipedia when I found this:

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It couldn’t be true. If these 1994 Slammys had actually taken place, why had nobody mentioned them for twenty years, only for them to pop up on Raw and now Wikipedia? Was this some kind of conspiracy, perhaps (but not necessarily) involving black helicopters? Nothing made sense about this alleged 1994 Slammy Awards ceremony, which supposedly occurred between the 1987 and 1996 editions (okay, that last part at least made sense).

But, lo and behold, the WWE Network had the final word, including the 1994 Awards among its Slammy programming.

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Yessiree, this was 1994.

So yes, there was a 1994 Slammy Award show, and let me tell you: everything about it was orders of magnitude suckier than the Slammy Award ceremonies of the past and future.

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Instead of an elaborate set… 94slammy04a
94slammy07 …we got this bare-bones WWF studio. 
Instead of a late-night network spot… 94slammy05a
94slammy05 …we got the usual 10am WWF Mania time slot on a Saturday morning.
Instead of outrageous opening musical numbers… 94slammy06a
94slammy06 …we got this “Scoop” song.
Instead of black ties and gowns… 94slammy07b 
94slammy07 …we got ugly jackets and mom jeans.
Instead of statuettes for each category… 94slammy08a
94slammy08  …we got this solitary Slammy trophy from the props department, awarded over and over again in absentia.
Instead of Todd Pettengill 96s08
…we got Stephanie Wiand.
And instead of a star-studded cast of presenters and award-winners… 94slammy09a
94slammy10 …we got Todd Pettengill.
But the main difference between these Slammy Awards and the ones held in later years was that, rather than thousands of ballots being cast by mail or millions of votes being entered on the WWE App, the 1994 awards were decided by just two voters, the Dynamic Duds themselves, Todd and Stephanie, with an unseen studio engineer breaking the tie if necessary. 94slammy11 
94slammy12a 94slammy12b Yes, Todd Pettengill and his new co-host Stephanie Wiand (who had been on the job for all of about three weeks) served as judge and jury for the WWF Superstars.
In between second-run squash matches, our hosts would rifle through their fish bowl full of envelopes and announce Slammy winners with all the suspense of the Tacoma Narrows Bridge after a heavy wind. 94slammy13 
94slammy14 Not that most of these awards merited any suspense, and yes, that includes the award for “Most Likely to See Jenny Craig,” which Bastion Booger took home (or at least, he would have taken it home, had the wrestlers themselves been invited to the studio, and had Mike Shaw not already left the company months earlier).
Roman Reigns’s cousin Fatu, seen here eating a stick of deodorant, won for Best Etiquette along with his partner Sione. 94slammy15
94slammy16 And all the while our hosts tore through envelopes just as two kids on Christmas morning would tear through a stack of presents.
Speaking of envelopes (and “morning would”), Steph and the Toddster were certainly pushing the envelope when it came to the simmering sexual tension permeating this Saturday morning broadcast. 94slammy17 
94slammy18 Don’t believe me? Just listen to this dirty talk between Mr. Pettengill and Ms. Wiand.
Okay, so she was just talking about Irwin R. Schyster’s overactive sweat glands. 94slammy19
94slammy20 But just look at this reaction and tell me Stephanie wasn’t hot and bothered in the otherwise climate-controlled WWF Studio.
Actually, that’s just our co-host in awe at the TV spot where that little brat who played ball with the Randy Savage during the MLB strike tells Bret Hart, “Go get ‘im champ!”  94slammy21
 94slammy22 If you ever attended a WWF event in 1994 where Bret came through the curtain without his signature pink shades, now you know whom to blame for robbing you (and all the other good children who didn’t wander backstage where they didn’t belong) of a chance to get the glasses.
Still, you’ve got to think that during the commercial breaks, Todd and Stephanie were off in some other room doing it — by which I mean playing the new WWF Raw video game for Sega Genesis and Super Nintendo, which was new in stores at the time and, by amazing coincidence, also spawned an official strategy video that won “Best Coliseum Home Video.” 94slammy23 
94slammy24 In other merchandise-hawking, Todd later showed off the new WWF trading cards, like this one of the 1-2-3 Kid (eyebrows not included).

Bull Nakano won the award for Most Devastating…
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94slammy99 while the competition for the Most Un-be-lievable Maneuver, Most Tremendous Athleticism, and Biggest Capacity Crowd awards was apparently too close to call.
The award for “Funniest” went to Dink, but the most hilarious segment he was ever part of was really carried by Jeff Jarrett. There’s your rightful winner right there! 94slammy26
94slammy27 Speaking of Double J, Todd openly snubbed the country crooner by giving the “Best Entertainer” award to Men on a Mission’s Oscar. Another bad call! 
I shall refer you again to Exhibit A: 94slammy26
96s32 Here’s the biggest missed opportunity of the program (besides never revealing who won the award for “Dreamiest”): We all know Owen Hart was a two-time Slammy Award winner (or at least a two-time Slammy Award accepter).
But did you know that Owen actually won a Slammy for real back in 1994? If the ’94 Slammy Awards didn’t have a single-digit budget and could afford multiple statues, Owen would have been hauling around three Slammys in the 90s. 94slammy29
 94slammy30 Despite a designated tie-breaker, there were a few awards with co-winners, such as the “Smelliest” award, which went to both Duke “The Dumpster” Droese and newcomer Henry O. Godwinn.
Another category, “Best Movie,” saw a deadlock between Todd’s choice, the action flick “Speed”, starring Keanu Reaves and Sandra Bullock, and lame little Stephanie’s choice, “Princess Caraboo.” Believe it or not, there was at least one pairing in WWF history where Todd Pettengill was cast as “the cool one.”  94slammy31
  

But the judges were unanimous in their pick for best TV show:

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Yeah, right.

There must have been a mix-up in the envelopes, as the “MVP” award should have gone to the Federation’s Most Violent Player, Abe “Knuckleball” Schwartz…

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…who was instead announced as the winner of this next award, which clearly should have gone to the Slammy Awards hosted by Todd Pettengill and Stephanie Wiand:

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Written by

A wrestling fan ever since the days of Wrestlemania IX, Art graduated from college in the same building where Art Donovan called King of the Ring 1994. He also runs the "How Much Does This Guy Weigh?" blog, where he reviews New Generation-Era Monday Night Raws. Follow him on Twitter @Art0Donnell. Email at: art@wrestlecrap.com
55 Responses to "Induction: The 1994 Slammy Awards – Hosted by two real pains in the year-end"
  1. Sean Bateman says:

    What does Todd Pettingil, Stephanie Wiand and the 94 Slammys have in common? THEY ARE WRESTLECRAP!

  2. The Doctor of Style says:

    With 1994 being a struggling year for the WWF, it sort of makes sense that a video game strategy video beat their PPVs for “Best Coliseum Home Video.”

    Also, notice how they not only made use of an old Slammy prop, but also the corner post podium Monsoon used.

  3. John C says:

    The man-child waste of existance known as Pettingill, will you never cease to haunt my days with your awfulness. He still must wear pajamas with slippers attatched to them as he wakes up from his racing car bed in the morning. The he races upstairs from the basement so his mother can feed him chocolate chip waffles. And as far as the most annoying Stephaine in the company ever, you’re still the most annoying Stephaine in the company ever.

  4. Greg says:

    Kay Fabe? KAY. FABE?!?!?!

  5. Alexandru says:

    Lord this looks awful. The early/mid 90’s must have sucked for wrestling

  6. #OPC says:

    The tag team of Todd and Stephanie will probably be inducted into the Hall of Fame this year.

  7. Plastic Diver Guy says:

    Take a good look at the “solitary slammy trophy” picture and tell me looking at Stephanie you didn’t just think of the image of Paul Bearer saying that tonight’s dinner is GROUND CHUCK. Once you see it…

  8. David says:

    Isn’t that Eugene from Walking Dead?

  9. Thomas says:

    I can’t be the only one who looks at that still of Sable and finds her thoroughly unappealing. Am I?

    • Gotchism For Life says:

      Nope, you’re not alone.

    • E-Squared says:

      I was never really a big fan of those types of swimsuits on women. You’re not the only one who didn’t really find that picture appealing. Even when I saw it, I was like, “Really?” and I was only 12 when I first a picture of that.

      • Thomas Moffatt says:

        When I was 16/17/18 I fancied the arse off Sable – when I look back her pictures from that time now, I think, what was I thinking? I find her unappealing now…

  10. Nick says:

    Holy hell! I had no idea there was one from ’94. Great post.

  11. Monkapotomus says:

    I liked Stephanie Wiand back in the day. Clearly the worst idea slammy should have went to Stephanie for wearing that shirt

  12. The Boat Movie says:

    And to think, this might not even be the most embarrassing thing Todd Pettengill was involved with. He did a radio show for many, MANY years that was unbelievably terrible. Well, may because it’s Pettengill, you can believe it.

    If you’re a masochist, you might want to check it out. It’s definitely in “so bad it’s funny” territory at times. It’s no longer on the air, but Opie and Anthony ripped it apart and I’m sure you can find other clips elsewhere on the internet. Horrible song parodies, jokes that fall flat on their ass, absolutely no chemistry with (read: all but ignoring) his admittedly doddering cohost, and prank calls that are any or all of the following: A) fake to the point where it’s impossible to suspend disbelief, B) trying so hard to be funny and failing that Jerry Lawler would cringe in humiliation, C) ripoffs of the Jerky Boys’ characters and ideas, or D) longer than an Authority promo.

    • CP says:

      Speak for yourself there, buddy. It’s one of the few things Pettengill’s done right in his career, and.you obviously don’t know much of anything because the show is still on the air.

      And I’m no fan of Todd’s WWF work, because most of it is cringeworthy.

      • CP says:

        Oh, and by the way, most of those prank calls you claim were stolen from the Jerky Boys, or almost all of them? All setups by someone who knew the victim.

  13. "The Big Cheese" Paul Kraft says:

    I had no idea this existed! Wow! Nice find!

  14. Justin says:

    Wow…….just………unreal……What is happening??

  15. 80's Guy says:

    Well, the Google search “Stephanie Wiand nude” sadly came up with nothing….

  16. MattyC says:

    Two things struck me in this massively deserved induction into the realms of Wrestlecrap:

    1. How big is Stephanie’s mouth? Talk about a gaping maw….

    2. When she sings “scoop, scoop, scoop” (etc), it is really one of the most annoying things I have ever heard.

  17. Geoff says:

    Look on Bing for SW nudes. Bing has everything. And it’s more liberal than google. Me, I’d rather not search for SW nudes. But this would be more watchable if Todd were out of the picture. She does a fine job by herself. Both of them are just complete Wrestlecrap. I’m glad I didn’t have this station in the early 90s, this would’ve ruined my perception of wrestling forever.

    Roommate: You know, wrestling is fake.

    Me: No, NO! It’s not true. It can’t be.

    Roommate: Uh

    Me (looking at Tood and Stephanie on screen) You know, you may be right. I never thought about it that way.

  18. Justin Henry says:

    Molly Holly + Jenny McCarthy’s brain and impulse control = Stephanie Wiand.

    That said, she rocks the mom jeans aight.

  19. Adam says:

    At one point, during a Diesel studio promo, he closed with this line, “…and Stephanie, you can interview me any time you want….”

    And yes, the insinuation was that she was hot and he couldn’t wait for said hypothetical future interview to happen.

  20. Thomas Moffatt says:

    What was the show Todd co-hosted with Dok Hendrix aka Michael PS Hayes’ dorky alter-ego?

    • Scrooge McSuck says:

      Action Zone. It started off as fresh material in October ’94 with a feature every week, but became a recap show by the end of 1995 and ran through the Summer of 96 when Superstars was removed from syndication and took its place on USA.

  21. Brad says:

    As bad as Michael Cole can be when he is forced to be Vince’s ventriloquist dummy, Cole at his absolute WORST has NOTHING on Todd Pettingill. He was the absolute worst….worse than David Crockett, worse than Mike Adamle.

  22. Yeah says:

    In all fairness to them not having anyone in the studio to accept, look at last month’s Slammys.

    No Sting
    No Rock
    No Rousey
    No Triple H
    No Cena
    No Brock
    No Undertaker

    I’m just saying they could have rearranged things so the awards given out during Raw actually had the people there.

  23. The Angry Jobber says:

    When in ’94 was this? If it was late in the year, you figure it would encompass all events in 1994, thus why the Booger won being he was there at the start of 1994. I’m surprised Stephanie Wiand’s “Scoop” parody wasn’t enough to land her a guest spot during Salt n’ Pepa’s appearance at WM11. That would have made for some fun TV!

  24. Mark Smart says:

    okay. this was 1994 when WWE was actually okay with having women wrestlers instead of Divas. with gals like Bull Nakano, Luna Vachon and Bertha Faye lurking about, ol’ Steph here was probably damn near the Lana of her day. so let’s cut her and her mom jeans a little slack.

    I mean sure, she kinda looks like the unholy offspring of Reba McIntyre and the Joker but I’d do her. If it was 1994 and I was in Todd Pettingil’s shoes. y’know pretty much everything from 1993 to around WrestleMania 12 in 1996 was pretty much wrestlecrap. it took them a little bit but they started getting away from this crap.

    these two just epitomize what WWF’s mission statement was at that time.

  25. Thomas says:

    Stephanie’s looks are definitely hampered by the the half-ton of makeup she’s wearing here. As a comparison, here’s a picture of her taking just a few years ago where’s she’s much better-looking:

    http://m.imdb.com/name/nm1092834/mediaindex?rmconst=rm2578770688&ref_=m_nmmi_mi_nm_pbl_1

  26. TMM says:

    One thing for sure I hope the person in charge of the makeup didn’t get anty Slammies. Wiand’s face is looking like something between the Joker and a toddler’s show character ! Poor gal and as mentionned by Thomas, photos of hers out of WWF are a lot more flattering Although she tends to love too much her red lipstick !

  27. Anonymous says:

    lol.

  28. Doc 902714 says:

    Wasn’t Stephanie the lady in the silhouette who would appear on MNR and claim that Shawn Michaels wrecked her marriage, during his feud w. Bulldog / Diana Hart Smith in mid 96? Yes…yes I believe I may have solved a forgotten WWE mystery.

    Now I’m off to solve the identity of the Mystery Man.

  29. Rose says:

    90s makeup was the worst.

  30. Sean Bateman says:

    Todd Pettingil and Stephanie Wiand are that era of the WWE version of Donald Trump and Sarah Palin, but less racist

  31. Max says:

    You know, I bet that there might be SOMETHING salvageable from these Slammies if Owen burst into the studio to steal the Single Solitary Slammy after he got awarded one and they had to carry on with a photo of one or something.

  32. Doc75 says:

    i actually watched this on YouTube not too long ago. i have no idea why either.

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