Category Archives: Headlies

The latest pro graps newz you won’t get anywhere else. Because it probably isn’t true. Probably.

Headlies: Corporate Kane’s First Day At The Office

18 Submitted by on Fri, 15 November 2013, 08:00
Stamford, CT – Corporate Kane spent the first day as WWE’s new Director of Operations getting acclimated to working in the corporate world of professional wrestling. Formerly known as The Big Red Monster, Kane woke at 6:30am to prepare for his first day at Titan Towers. After a quick shower and shave, Kane put on his freshly-pressed Jos A. Bank Continue Reading...
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Headlies: Low Attendance Reported For Vader’s “White Castle Of Fear” Halloween Party

11 Submitted by on Fri, 08 November 2013, 08:00
Somewhere in the Rocky Mountains, CO – Last week, former WCW and WWE star Big Van Vader hosted his annual Halloween party at his White Castle of Fear. Unfortunately, the turnout was much lower than he had expected. “I don’t understand it,” barked Vader. “I must’ve sent out like a hundred of these invitations and there’s only a handful of Continue Reading...
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Headlies: WWE Very Interested In Signing Backyard Wrestler

20 Submitted by on Fri, 01 November 2013, 08:00
Wilmington, DE- Backyard wrestler and current Xtreme Backyard Wrestling Alliance World Champion Mike Stab was shocked to learn that the WWE wanted to offer him a contract. Following his “Barbed-Wire, Fireworks, and Dog Doo” match with Slash Hackenschmidt, “The Master Of Darkness” Damian Devil, and Mark Boner at the XBWA’s 1st annual “Murda N’ Mayhem” Tournament, Stab relaxed behind the Continue Reading...
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Headlies: TNA Finds A New Permanent Home

19 Submitted by on Fri, 25 October 2013, 08:00
Littleton, WV – During an impromptu press conference, TNA Impact Wrestling president Dixie Carter announced that she has signed a new deal procuring a venue to house the wrestling promotion for the next three years. “We loved the Impact Zone in Tampa, but it was just time to go,” said Carter. “Universal Studios really helped us out, whether it was Continue Reading...
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Headlies: WWE Signs The Giant

16 Submitted by on Fri, 11 October 2013, 09:00
Tampa, FL – Following the firing of The Big Show, WWE has signed former WCW Heavyweight Champion and nWo member The Giant. Stephanie McMahon introduced the late 90′s star at a press conference near his home in Tampa. “After we got rid of that dead weight Big Show, the WWE was in desperate for a big man,” said Stephanie McMahon. Continue Reading...
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Headlies: Ric Flair Hires “World’s Cheapest Man” As His New Financial Advisor

9 Submitted by on Wed, 09 October 2013, 08:00
Charlotte, NC – WWE Hall of Famer Ric Flair has announced the hiring of Roy Haynes, commonly known as the “Cheapest Man In America”, as his new financial advisor. A multi-time champion in various wrestling companies, Flair has undergone various legal and financial troubles in recent years, putting a strain on his bottom line. “Between the divorces, the silk robes, Continue Reading...
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Headlies: Entire ‘Battleground’ Card Replaced With A 3-Hour Triple H Promo

17 Submitted by on Sat, 05 October 2013, 09:00
Buffalo, NY – In a surprising turn of events, WWE has decided that every match on their upcoming ‘Battleground’ pay-per-view will be canceled and replaced by a three-hour long promo by WWE COO Triple H. Triple H dropped the bombshell news during an otherwise mundane press conference promoting the event. “We looked at the card and some serious consideration, the Continue Reading...
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Headlies: TNA Knockouts Division Now Just Gail Kim, ODB, And A Sack Of Flour

13 Submitted by on Mon, 30 September 2013, 08:00
Tulsa, OK – Another round of roster cuts have once again reduced the number of wrestlers in TNA. The Knockouts division has become particularly depleted, leaving only Gail Kim, Knockouts champion ODB, and a sack of flour. While having very little television time, the sack of flour has been with the company for several years serving as both a road Continue Reading...
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Headlies: WWE Celebrates the “Running Of The Mantaur”

13 Submitted by on Wed, 25 September 2013, 08:00
Omaha, NE – At a house show this past weekend, WWE celebrated their annual “Running Of The Mantaur” backstage, pitting their Superstars against a charging Mantaur. Wrestlers ran throughout the a sectioned-off part of the CenturyLink Center as Mantaur, wearing his iconic gigantic bison head, chased after them. Several brave wrestlers got close enough to taunt and hit Mantaur with Continue Reading...
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