Category Archives: Headlies

The latest pro graps newz you won’t get anywhere else. Because it probably isn’t true. Probably.

Headlies: TNA Launches The TNA Network

14 Submitted by on Fri, 21 February 2014, 08:00
Huntingdon, WV – During the intermission of a house show on the West Virgina/Kentucky border, TNA President Dixie Carter revealed that the company would be launching their own network next Monday night. “Howdy, ya’ll!” said Carter to the half-full high school gymnasium. “We here at TNA are proud to announce the launching of the brand new TNA Network!” Carter then Continue Reading...
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Headlies: Natalya Finally Breaks Up With The Great Khali

8 Submitted by on Fri, 14 February 2014, 08:00
Calgary, Alberta, Canada – During an intimate Valentine’s Day dinner, WWE Diva Natalya finally broke up with her on-screen boyfriend, The Great Khali. The two superstars dined at Teatro Ristorante over a romantic candle-lit $90 per plate meal. They made small talk, but Khali noticed that Natalya seemed distant and distracted. When he gently inquired to what was bothering his Continue Reading...
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HEADLIES: EDGE’S EX-WIFE RESPECTFULLY DECLINES INVITATION TO INDUCT LITA INTO WWE HALL OF FAME

7 Submitted by on Wed, 12 February 2014, 17:45
  Tampa, FL – Lisa Ortiz, the second wife of WWE Hall of Famer Adam “Edge” Copeland, has respectfully declined an invitation to induct Amy “Lita” Dumas into the WWE Hall of Fame on WrestleMania weekend. Dumas, 38, will be the third modern-era “Diva”, after Tammy Sytch and Trish Stratus, to be inducted into the company’s Hall. Her career was Continue Reading...
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Headlies: New WWE-inspired rules for Olympic announcers revealed

10 Submitted by on Tue, 11 February 2014, 17:48
Dick Ebersol, senior adviser for NBC’s Olympic coverage and long-time friend of WWE Chairman Vince McMahon, has recently issued a memo outlining new rules for the Sochi 2014 announcers. The goal is to separate the Olympics as a genre distinct from “sports,” a term loaded with negative connotations of coarse players, rowdy fans, gambling, and sweat. Announcers are now to Continue Reading...
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Headlies: WWE Releases “The Self-Destruction of CM Punk” DVD

20 Submitted by on Fri, 07 February 2014, 08:00
Des Moines, IA – During this week’s edition of Smackdown, WWE announced that they are releasing a brand new DVD entitled “The Self-Destruction of CM Punk”. The release comes as a surprise as there had been no previous mentions of the DVD being written, filmed, produced, and shipped to stores. “I admit the turn-around was quick, but we here at Continue Reading...
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Headlies: WWE Unveils New Poster For Wrestlemania

17 Submitted by on Fri, 31 January 2014, 08:00
New Orleans, LA – During a press conference promoting Wrestlemania 30, Triple H and Stephanie McMahon revealed a brand new poster for the event. “I’d like to thank the members of the international press for joining us today,” said Triple H. “We saw an exciting Royal Rumble this past Sunday and we are now using that momentum to carry the Continue Reading...
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HEADLIES: CM Punk Hoping to Fill The Rock’s Void by Coming Back as Overpaid Part-Timer

8 Submitted by on Wed, 29 January 2014, 04:19
  CLEVELAND – Former WWE Champion CM Punk has informed Vince McMahon on Monday that he was walking away from the company, and Punk has since been written out of all foreseeable events. It has been learned that Punk is looking to come back for a “Dwayne Johnson type of deal” that would preclude him from performing at live events, Continue Reading...
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Headlies: Sack Of Flour Jumps Ship And Joins WWE

25 Submitted by on Fri, 24 January 2014, 08:00
Pittsburgh, PA – In a stunning move harkening back to the cutthroat days of the “Monday Night Wars”, TNA’s most popular Knockout Sack Of Flour has left the company to join WWE. The surprise news was first broken by John Pollock on this week’s edition of Live Audio Wrestling. “I can’t reveal my sources, but I stand by them 100 Continue Reading...
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Headlies: Mason Ryan Excited To Make His Return On Monday Night

14 Submitted by on Fri, 17 January 2014, 08:00
Cardiff, Wales – WWE Superstar and former New Nexus member Mason Ryan has been preparing for his return to Raw this coming Monday. Inside his personal gym, Ryan expressed excitement over his return to Monday Night Raw. “It’s been a long time coming. Almost two years by my count,” said Ryan as he blasted his quads. “I know now that Continue Reading...
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