Buffalo, NY – In a surprising turn of events, WWE has decided that every match on their upcoming ‘Battleground’ pay-per-view will be canceled and replaced by a three-hour long promo by WWE COO Triple H. Triple H dropped the bombshell news during an otherwise mundane press conference promoting the event. “We looked at the card and some serious consideration, the Continue Reading...
Category Archives: Headlies
The latest pro graps newz you won’t get anywhere else. Because it probably isn’t true. Probably.
Headlies: TNA Knockouts Division Now Just Gail Kim, ODB, And A Sack Of Flour
13 Submitted by Jordan Mishkin on Mon, 30 September 2013, 08:00Tulsa, OK – Another round of roster cuts have once again reduced the number of wrestlers in TNA. The Knockouts division has become particularly depleted, leaving only Gail Kim, Knockouts champion ODB, and a sack of flour. While having very little television time, the sack of flour has been with the company for several years serving as both a road Continue Reading...
Headlies: WWE Celebrates the “Running Of The Mantaur”
13 Submitted by Jordan Mishkin on Wed, 25 September 2013, 08:00Omaha, NE – At a house show this past weekend, WWE celebrated their annual “Running Of The Mantaur” backstage, pitting their Superstars against a charging Mantaur. Wrestlers ran throughout the a sectioned-off part of the CenturyLink Center as Mantaur, wearing his iconic gigantic bison head, chased after them. Several brave wrestlers got close enough to taunt and hit Mantaur with Continue Reading...
Headlies: Miz’s Dad Watches Son Get Pummeled, Wins Father of the Year for Not Stopping It
14 Submitted by Jordan Mishkin on Tue, 17 September 2013, 08:00Cleveland, OH – After watching his son receive vicious beatdown on Raw at the hands of Randy Orton, George Mizanin was awarded the 73rd annual “Father Of The Year” award from the Father’s Day Council. A small ceremony was held at the Cleveland Hilton Conference Room C. Council chairman Dan Orweig was on-hand to present the Miz’s father with a Continue Reading...
Audio: Interview with Headlies’ Jordan Mishkin!
1 Submitted by RD Reynolds on Mon, 16 September 2013, 21:41Enjoy Headlies? Then check out this interview with the primary Headlies author, Jordan Mishkin, by clicking rightchere!...
Headlies: “I’m A Dixie Carter Guy” T-shirts Not Selling As Well As Expected
4 Submitted by Jordan Mishkin on Sat, 14 September 2013, 12:00Nashville, TN – Despite being available for several months online and being sold at every live event, sales of TNA’s “I’m A Dixie Carter Guy” t-shirts have been very disappointing. During a company-wide meeting, sort-of TNA Impact Wrestling president Dixie Carter addressed the situation. “I don’t understand the problem,” said a bewildered Dixie. “We put on a great product every Continue Reading...
Headlies: Twitter Personality Jim Ross Retires
9 Submitted by Justin Henry on Wed, 11 September 2013, 16:19 Norman, OK – Internet personality Jim Ross announced Wednesday that, after a long and extensive run in the business of tweeting, he will be retiring from Twitter, effective immediately. Ross, 61, has become known among the younger generation as an ardent user of the social media site Twitter. Ross, known to fans as, “Good Ol’ JR”, mostly for the Continue Reading...
Headlies: Miss Marietta Lively To Debut On Monday Night Raw
10 Submitted by Jordan Mishkin on Mon, 09 September 2013, 08:00Toronto, ON – Miss Marietta Lively, a new female wrestler, will make her in ring debut tonight at Monday Night Raw. “The WWE is proud to have Miss Marietta Lively on our roster, especially after the firing of Cody Rhodes last week,” said Triple H. “You know, I don’t actually know all that much about her. As Executive Vice President Continue Reading...
Headlies: Triple H To Release Album Of Disney Classics
7 Submitted by Jordan Mishkin on Mon, 02 September 2013, 08:00Hollywood, CA – Following his stirring rendition of “When You Wish Upon A Star” from the classic “Pinocchio” WWE has decided to release an entire album of Triple H singing Disney songs. “I was just feeling it on Raw, you know?” said Triple H inside the recording studio. “Sometimes when you can’t find the correct words to say, you just Continue Reading...
Headlies: No One In The Back Wants To Help CM Punk
4 Submitted by Jordan Mishkin on Tue, 27 August 2013, 19:00Phoenix, AZ – During a vicious beatdown at the hands of Paul Heyman and Curtis Axel, it became abundantly clear that no one in the back wants to help CM Punk. As the assault on the handcuffed CM Punk continued on live television for several agonizing minutes, no one from the locker room deemed it necessary to come out and Continue Reading...