BALTIMORE – After being hospitalized earlier Monday following a vomiting spell that was possibly linked to chest pains, wrestling legend Jerry “The King” Lawler updated a worldwide television audience with a positive prognosis during WWE Monday Night Raw. In regards to receiving updates on Lawler’s health status, dignified lead WWE broadcaster Michael Cole informed home viewers that they could Continue Reading...
Category Archives: Headlies
The latest pro graps newz you won’t get anywhere else. Because it probably isn’t true. Probably.
Headlies: Green Bay Packers bring in David Schultz for pep talk
8 Submitted by Art0Donnell on Sun, 05 January 2014, 14:13Yesterday, the visiting San Francisco 49ers recruited wrestling legend Ric Flair to speak to the team the day before their NFC wild-card game versus the Green Bay Packers, prompting San Francisco right tackle Anthony Davis to tweet his appreciation for the Nature Boy, while labeling Green Bay a “s*** hole.” Outraged by the disrespect for the Packers’ home, Green Bay Continue Reading...
Headlies: Wrestlers Make Their New Year’s Resolutions
14 Submitted by Jordan Mishkin on Fri, 03 January 2014, 08:00Stamford, CT and Orlando, FL – Various wrestlers and wrestling officials from both WWE and TNA have made their New Year’s resolutions public. WWE AJ Lee: “Get endorsed by Skip-It and polish my forehead.” The Bella Twins: “Yell ‘Come on!’ more during matches.” The Big Show: “I vow to team up with as many people as possible. 2014 is the Continue Reading...
Headlies: Items Go On Clearance At WWEShop.com
16 Submitted by Jordan Mishkin on Fri, 27 December 2013, 08:00New York, NY – In what has become a yearly WWE tradition similar to firings after Wrestlemania, multiple items at WWEShop.com have gone on clearance the day after Christmas. WWE’s Chief Revenue and Marketing Officer Michelle D. Wilson said, “Even though Christmas has passed, it is still the season of giving. We here at WWE are thrilled to be able Continue Reading...
Twas the night before Christmas, While sitting on the couch Not a thing on TV was stirring, Not even an In Your House. The official Hornswoggle stockings were hung by the chimney with care, In hopes that St. Vince McMahon soon would be there. The children were nestled all snug in their beds, While visions of good wrestling Continue Reading...
Headlies: Fan Already Upset Over The Outcome Of The Cena-Orton Match
9 Submitted by Jordan Mishkin on Fri, 13 December 2013, 08:00Topeka, KS – During 6th period lunch, lifetime wrestling fan Jayden Griswald let everyone within earshot know that he already hated how the John Cena-Randy Orton was going to end. This was despite the fact that the TLC Pay-Per-View was not occurring for a few more days. “They have no idea what they’re doing,” said the C minus-average high school Continue Reading...
Headlies: ‘Voices’ In Randy Orton’s Head Revealed To Be A Green Alien Named Gazoo
19 Submitted by Jordan Mishkin on Fri, 06 December 2013, 08:00Oklahoma City, OK – During a backstage segment with Renee Young, the supposed “voices” inside WWE Champion Randy Orton’s head were actually revealed to be a little green alien named Gazoo. In the middle of one of his patented slow-motion promos, Randy Orton paused for a long time. While not atypical for a speech given by the Apex Predator, the Continue Reading...
Headlies: Vince And Linda McMahon Go Black Friday Shopping
8 Submitted by Jordan Mishkin on Fri, 29 November 2013, 08:00White Plains, NY – At 4:45am on Friday morning, a stretch limo with the license plate “V1NNY MAC” pulled up to the White Plains Walmart. WWE Chairman Vince McMahon emerged from the limo into the chilly morning air with his wife, former 2-time Republican candidate for U.S. Senate, Linda. “I don’t understand why we’re here,” grumbled a cranky Vince. “We Continue Reading...
Headlies: TNA Builds On The Success Of The Wheel Of Dixie, Deploys More Carnival Games
13 Submitted by Jordan Mishkin on Fri, 22 November 2013, 08:00Orlando, FL – Spurred by success of the Wheel of Dixie, TNA has decided to use more traditional carnival games during episodes of Impact. During a press conference at Universal Studio’s Soundstage 10 Annex Room B, TNA President Dixie Carter explained the company’s amusement game expansion. “Whether it’s used to decide what kind of tournament match Samoa Joe will have Continue Reading...
Headlies: Corporate Kane’s First Day At The Office
18 Submitted by Jordan Mishkin on Fri, 15 November 2013, 08:00Stamford, CT – Corporate Kane spent the first day as WWE’s new Director of Operations getting acclimated to working in the corporate world of professional wrestling. Formerly known as The Big Red Monster, Kane woke at 6:30am to prepare for his first day at Titan Towers. After a quick shower and shave, Kane put on his freshly-pressed Jos A. Bank Continue Reading...